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Without Parental Permission...

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:56 AM
Jes
  • 74 Replies
Do you think its okay for Church's to Baptize, Confirm, etc a person under 18 without Parental Consent?

The reason I'm asking...
I teach RCIA and there is a 16 year old girl in my current class. She has been here since September but yesterday I found out she is in RCIA against her parents' wishes. Her Uncle is her sponsor so I just assumed her family knew... Plus her parents attend Mass sometimes (but they never take part in the Sacraments). This girl wants to participate in Mass and be a full member of the Church. But her parents told her No.

So what would you do? Would you tell the parents? I mean, they're going to find out when they come to Mass and their daughter takes Communion.


ETA* you can join the Catholic Church after the "age of reason" with or without Parental Permission so the Priest has no problem with her being in RCIA.
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by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SuperChicken
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:01 AM
2 moms liked this

I think the Church has a responsibility to tell the parents what's going on, but I don't think they need her permission.   As long as they are aware she's doing it, even if they don't really like it, then okay.  If it's being kept secret from the parents, then that strikes me as sneaky and underhanded.     

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:02 AM

Tough one, honestly.

I know that I want my girls to make their choices and be able to execute those choices.  Regardless of the denomination or otherwise.

I can't say that, should a decision be made to be part of a faith I disagree with,  I would be thrilled but I also can't say that I would tell them no, make an attempt to stop them.  That would only be the case if I felt the 'faith' was detrimental to their well being.  

I would want to know.  But at the age of 16 I don't know that I could do any thing to actually stop it.  That would only push my child further towards it.

My gut is telling me this girl deserves to be who she is and to choose her own path and her own faith.  Her parents don't have to agree but the decision should be hers to make.  

Now, letting them know............if you legally have to, I would.  If she has asked that they not be notified, I may very well honor her request.

IhaveHisjoy
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:03 AM

 Wow, It's like you're speaking a foreign language to me..lol

ambermario4ever
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:05 AM

Everyone has the right to make these choices for themselfs the parents should have no say in her religious choices.

christina0607
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:07 AM

I don't see the big deal. It's not as though any of this in any way alters a child's life. 

They obviously know she is attending the classes. 

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:21 AM
I'm not sure if they know or not...
I know they are aware she wants to become Catholic but I'm unsure if they are aware that she is already in RCIA...


Quoting SuperChicken:

I think the Church has a responsibility to tell the parents what's going on, but I don't think they need her permission.   As long as they are aware she's doing it, even if they don't really like it, then okay.  If it's being kept secret from the parents, then that strikes me as sneaky and underhanded.     

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MicheleJM
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:21 AM

I'd want to at least know.  If she's involved in a cult I'd want to be able to get her out, baptized or not.  It's a tough one because there are churches I'd just as soon they not involve themselves with being those people are crazy.  I'd might not be able to stop him but I'd certainly make my feelings known.  Baptism, in and of itself isn't that particularly binding...it isn't like you can't leave the church....you are "being born again in the Spirit" if you're protestant and becoming part of the church and saved by Grace if you're catholic...but you can always leave a particular church.

MicheleJM
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:23 AM


Who's paying for it?  It isn't like these classes come free.  Sometimes they come expensively depending on the particular church.  Especially if her parents aren't in the church community and tithing.

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure if they know or not...
I know they are aware she wants to become Catholic but I'm unsure if they are aware that she is already in RCIA...


Quoting SuperChicken:

I think the Church has a responsibility to tell the parents what's going on, but I don't think they need her permission.   As long as they are aware she's doing it, even if they don't really like it, then okay.  If it's being kept secret from the parents, then that strikes me as sneaky and underhanded.     



Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:24 AM
We have RCIA on Tuesdays so I am going to bring it up next week. I was made aware of the fact that her parents don't want her to he Catholic by another person in RCIA.

I just want to know the facts from her. And yes, if she asks me not to say anything then I will respect that. I'm just feeling conflicted I guess...


Quoting FromAtoZ:

Tough one, honestly.

I know that I want my girls to make their choices and be able to execute those choices.  Regardless of the denomination or otherwise.

I can't say that, should a decision be made to be part of a faith I disagree with,  I would be thrilled but I also can't say that I would tell them no, make an attempt to stop them.  That would only be the case if I felt the 'faith' was detrimental to their well being.  

I would want to know.  But at the age of 16 I don't know that I could do any thing to actually stop it.  That would only push my child further towards it.

My gut is telling me this girl deserves to be who she is and to choose her own path and her own faith.  Her parents don't have to agree but the decision should be hers to make.  

Now, letting them know............if you legally have to, I would.  If she has asked that they not be notified, I may very well honor her request.

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sherry132
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:25 AM

She only needs to wait two more years to do what she wants. If I were the priest, I would advocate for her and find out why they are against it. 

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