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Do you think its okay for Church's to Baptize, Confirm, etc a person under 18 without Parental Consent?

The reason I'm asking...
I teach RCIA and there is a 16 year old girl in my current class. She has been here since September but yesterday I found out she is in RCIA against her parents' wishes. Her Uncle is her sponsor so I just assumed her family knew... Plus her parents attend Mass sometimes (but they never take part in the Sacraments). This girl wants to participate in Mass and be a full member of the Church. But her parents told her No.

So what would you do? Would you tell the parents? I mean, they're going to find out when they come to Mass and their daughter takes Communion.


ETA* you can join the Catholic Church after the "age of reason" with or without Parental Permission so the Priest has no problem with her being in RCIA.
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by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:56 AM
Replies (21-30):
..MoonShine..
by Redwood Witch on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:36 AM
This.

Quoting pansyprincess:

I would want to know ... although I guess I would, if she was going to classes.  But at 16, I would let me child make their own decision.  It's weird, considering her parents do attend church there ... I wonder why they are against her joining?

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SuperChicken
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:36 AM

 


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Thanks for the input :-)
I'm going to talk to her after class in Tuesday next week... Hopefully she can tell me what all is going on. I feel that since I am the one teaching her the Catechism I want to make sure her conscience & mine are clean before she receives the Sacraments.


Quoting SuperChicken:

 


 


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure if they know or not...
I know they are aware she wants to become Catholic but I'm unsure if they are aware that she is already in RCIA...



Quoting SuperChicken:


I think the Church has a responsibility to tell the parents what's going on, but I don't think they need her permission.   As long as they are aware she's doing it, even if they don't really like it, then okay.  If it's being kept secret from the parents, then that strikes me as sneaky and underhanded.     


That's a tough one.  I'd want to know if my child was in the process of joining a denomination.  Because I grew up in the Catholic Church I'd be okay with that, but there are "churches" that I would actively try to protect my child from such as Westboro and the like.   I think at 16, since the parents are still responsible for her, they should be told.   Even if just to promote honesty and family, two things I know the Church values.


 

I should add that I think they probably do know.  If her uncle is sponsoring her and her parents occassionaly attend Mass, it seems unlikely they'd be able keep things a secret.    If it's anything like the Church community I grew up in, you couldn't change your socks without your parents knowing before you got home, lol.

 

kaylamom2004
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:37 AM

Yes. If the child has felt it within themselves to accept God ... why would a parent say no?

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:42 AM
The sacrament of Communion is very serious in the Catholic Church. We believe in Transubstantiation (that Christ is actually present in the bread & wine). So at the age of 7/8 most children raised in the Church go through classes to understand what Communion is. They then can choose to recieve First Communion or not. It must be their decision and not their parents making them do so. :-)

If you randomly go to a Catholic Church one day and you're not Catholic then no, you cannot partake In Communion.


Quoting IhaveHisjoy:

 I think I may be misunderstanding more than just that..lol


So if you're not a member you can't take communion? Or if you don't go to certain classes you can't take communion?


There isn't much about the Catholic church I understand..


Thanks!


ETA..sacraments= communion? Or am I way off?


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

LOL!

RCIA is a class for people who want to become Catholic. :-)



Quoting IhaveHisjoy:


 Wow, It's like you're speaking a foreign language to me..lol


 

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Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:43 AM
:-)
That is what I'm thinking as well since her Uncle is the one who brought her in.

And yeah... Small Parish so we (mostly) all know one another LOL!
Quoting SuperChicken:

 




Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Thanks for the input :-)
I'm going to talk to her after class in Tuesday next week... Hopefully she can tell me what all is going on. I feel that since I am the one teaching her the Catechism I want to make sure her conscience & mine are clean before she receives the Sacraments.



Quoting SuperChicken:


 



 



Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure if they know or not...
I know they are aware she wants to become Catholic but I'm unsure if they are aware that she is already in RCIA...




Quoting SuperChicken:



I think the Church has a responsibility to tell the parents what's going on, but I don't think they need her permission.   As long as they are aware she's doing it, even if they don't really like it, then okay.  If it's being kept secret from the parents, then that strikes me as sneaky and underhanded.     



That's a tough one.  I'd want to know if my child was in the process of joining a denomination.  Because I grew up in the Catholic Church I'd be okay with that, but there are "churches" that I would actively try to protect my child from such as Westboro and the like.   I think at 16, since the parents are still responsible for her, they should be told.   Even if just to promote honesty and family, two things I know the Church values.



 


I should add that I think they probably do know.  If her uncle is sponsoring her and her parents occassionaly attend Mass, it seems unlikely they'd be able keep things a secret.    If it's anything like the Church community I grew up in, you couldn't change your socks without your parents knowing before you got home, lol.


 

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romalove
by Roma on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:45 AM


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure what Church you go to but CCD, RCIA, & all other Catholic classes are completely free.
:-)

Even the books we use in RCIA are 100% free provided by the Parish. And "tithing" isn't required in the Catholic Church. :-)


Quoting MicheleJM:


Who's paying for it?  It isn't like these classes come free.  Sometimes they come expensively depending on the particular church.  Especially if her parents aren't in the church community and tithing.


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure if they know or not...

I know they are aware she wants to become Catholic but I'm unsure if they are aware that she is already in RCIA...




Quoting SuperChicken:

I think the Church has a responsibility to tell the parents what's going on, but I don't think they need her permission.   As long as they are aware she's doing it, even if they don't really like it, then okay.  If it's being kept secret from the parents, then that strikes me as sneaky and underhanded.     




That is not true everywhere.

Where I live they pay for CCD, and they are given envelopes for tithing on top of the CCD fees.

I have a friend who switched from the local Catholic church to a non-denominational Christian church because she has three kids and couldn't make all the payments for the CCD stuff, and the parish wouldn't work with her.  They were sending her notices about not sending in the tithing envelopes.  She got so mad that it was all about money.

You are the first person, in fact, who has said these services are at no charge, that I have ever heard.  Interesting how things are different in different areas within the same organization.

pansyprincess
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:48 AM

 Sure ... I know a lot of what I call "cultural catholics" ... they are the Christmas/Easter attenders.  :)  But I think it's weird that even someone who only goes traditionally would be against their child joining that church/denomination.  My dad is Lutheran, but we were raised catholic.  We used to yell at him when he went up and took communion because "he was hungry" ... haha ... I just think it's odd that they would attend church there, no matter how infrequently, but be against her becoming a member.


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

She has other family that attends regularly but Her parents only attend on Holy Days and an occasional Sunday Mass. Also, they never take Communion so I'm not sure if they are Catholic themselves or just go to certain masses for the sake of "tradition"... Know what I mean?

Quoting pansyprincess:

I would want to know ... although I guess I would, if she was going to classes.  But at 16, I would let me child make their own decision.  It's weird, considering her parents do attend church there ... I wonder why they are against her joining?


 

Veni.Vidi.Vici.
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:50 AM

I think at 16 she's capable of choosing her own religion. Does she need parental permission is her uncle is sponsoring her?

pansyprincess
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:51 AM

How the heck do you prove the red part?  I'm an atheist, and I took my first holy communion.  Confirmation too at 14 (or 13?) ... most kids are there because their parents are making them go ... they are in the church in the first place because their parents are making them and that's what they have been taught to believe.  If we let kids chose for themselves, they would all be atheists.


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

The sacrament of Communion is very serious in the Catholic Church. We believe in Transubstantiation (that Christ is actually present in the bread & wine). So at the age of 7/8 most children raised in the Church go through classes to understand what Communion is. They then can choose to recieve First Communion or not. It must be their decision and not their parents making them do so. :-)

If you randomly go to a Catholic Church one day and you're not Catholic then no, you cannot partake In Communion.


Quoting IhaveHisjoy:

 I think I may be misunderstanding more than just that..lol


So if you're not a member you can't take communion? Or if you don't go to certain classes you can't take communion?


There isn't much about the Catholic church I understand..


Thanks!


ETA..sacraments= communion? Or am I way off?


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

LOL!

RCIA is a class for people who want to become Catholic. :-)



Quoting IhaveHisjoy:


 Wow, It's like you're speaking a foreign language to me..lol


 


 

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:52 AM
That really bothers me. :-/

I've taught RCIA & CCD in Missouri, California, & Texas and I've never worked for a Parish that charges money for those classes. I volunteer my time for free so its not like they need money to pay me...

And the books are paid for by the Parish. We do take donations so we can buy new workbooks each year and so we can buy a Bible for each kid to have as their own. :-)

But no, no fees. I guess I've been lucky...


Quoting romalove:


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure what Church you go to but CCD, RCIA, & all other Catholic classes are completely free.

:-)



Even the books we use in RCIA are 100% free provided by the Parish. And "tithing" isn't required in the Catholic Church. :-)




Quoting MicheleJM:


Who's paying for it?  It isn't like these classes come free.  Sometimes they come expensively depending on the particular church.  Especially if her parents aren't in the church community and tithing.



Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure if they know or not...


I know they are aware she wants to become Catholic but I'm unsure if they are aware that she is already in RCIA...






Quoting SuperChicken:

I think the Church has a responsibility to tell the parents what's going on, but I don't think they need her permission.   As long as they are aware she's doing it, even if they don't really like it, then okay.  If it's being kept secret from the parents, then that strikes me as sneaky and underhanded.     





That is not true everywhere.

Where I live they pay for CCD, and they are given envelopes for tithing on top of the CCD fees.

I have a friend who switched from the local Catholic church to a non-denominational Christian church because she has three kids and couldn't make all the payments for the CCD stuff, and the parish wouldn't work with her.  They were sending her notices about not sending in the tithing envelopes.  She got so mad that it was all about money.

You are the first person, in fact, who has said these services are at no charge, that I have ever heard.  Interesting how things are different in different areas within the same organization.

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