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Do you think its okay for Church's to Baptize, Confirm, etc a person under 18 without Parental Consent?

The reason I'm asking...
I teach RCIA and there is a 16 year old girl in my current class. She has been here since September but yesterday I found out she is in RCIA against her parents' wishes. Her Uncle is her sponsor so I just assumed her family knew... Plus her parents attend Mass sometimes (but they never take part in the Sacraments). This girl wants to participate in Mass and be a full member of the Church. But her parents told her No.

So what would you do? Would you tell the parents? I mean, they're going to find out when they come to Mass and their daughter takes Communion.


ETA* you can join the Catholic Church after the "age of reason" with or without Parental Permission so the Priest has no problem with her being in RCIA.
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by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:56 AM
Replies (31-40):
christina0607
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:56 AM

I'm not sure if you've said but what denomination is this? I'm 37 and even my mom paid for me to go to CCd. I pay for my kids to go. I have never heard of not paying for this service. 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

That really bothers me. :-/

I've taught RCIA & CCD in Missouri, California, & Texas and I've never worked for a Parish that charges money for those classes. I volunteer my time for free so its not like they need money to pay me...

And the books are paid for by the Parish. We do take donations so we can buy new workbooks each year and so we can buy a Bible for each kid to have as their own. :-)

But no, no fees. I guess I've been lucky...


  within the same organization.


Make someone happy today, mind your own business.

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:56 AM
Yeah I was at a loss when they told me her parents wouldn't let her be Baptized or go to CCD as a kid... I'm not sure why... She attends mass with other family members so she obviously wants to be there by her own choice. :-) Im not sure why her parents are against her joinin the church...

Quoting pansyprincess:

 Sure ... I know a lot of what I call "cultural catholics" ... they are the Christmas/Easter attenders.  :)  But I think it's weird that even someone who only goes traditionally would be against their child joining that church/denomination.  My dad is Lutheran, but we were raised catholic.  We used to yell at him when he went up and took communion because "he was hungry" ... haha ... I just think it's odd that they would attend church there, no matter how infrequently, but be against her becoming a member.




Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

She has other family that attends regularly but Her parents only attend on Holy Days and an occasional Sunday Mass. Also, they never take Communion so I'm not sure if they are Catholic themselves or just go to certain masses for the sake of "tradition"... Know what I mean?


Quoting pansyprincess:


I would want to know ... although I guess I would, if she was going to classes.  But at 16, I would let me child make their own decision.  It's weird, considering her parents do attend church there ... I wonder why they are against her joining?




 

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Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:57 AM
I find that so crazy! I'm Roman Catholic. :-)

I've worked at 4 parishes in 3 different states and we've never charged for CCD or RCIA. It was always "we accept donations" but you didn't have to pay...


Quoting christina0607:

I'm not sure if you've said but what denomination is this? I'm 37 and even my mom paid for me to go to CCd. I pay for my kids to go. I have never heard of not paying for this service. 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

That really bothers me. :-/



I've taught RCIA & CCD in Missouri, California, & Texas and I've never worked for a Parish that charges money for those classes. I volunteer my time for free so its not like they need money to pay me...



And the books are paid for by the Parish. We do take donations so we can buy new workbooks each year and so we can buy a Bible for each kid to have as their own. :-)



But no, no fees. I guess I've been lucky...




  within the same organization.


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romalove
by Roma on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:58 AM


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

That really bothers me. :-/

I've taught RCIA & CCD in Missouri, California, & Texas and I've never worked for a Parish that charges money for those classes. I volunteer my time for free so its not like they need money to pay me...

And the books are paid for by the Parish. We do take donations so we can buy new workbooks each year and so we can buy a Bible for each kid to have as their own. :-)

But no, no fees. I guess I've been lucky...


Quoting romalove:


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure what Church you go to but CCD, RCIA, & all other Catholic classes are completely free.

:-)



Even the books we use in RCIA are 100% free provided by the Parish. And "tithing" isn't required in the Catholic Church. :-)




Quoting MicheleJM:


Who's paying for it?  It isn't like these classes come free.  Sometimes they come expensively depending on the particular church.  Especially if her parents aren't in the church community and tithing.



Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure if they know or not...


I know they are aware she wants to become Catholic but I'm unsure if they are aware that she is already in RCIA...






Quoting SuperChicken:

I think the Church has a responsibility to tell the parents what's going on, but I don't think they need her permission.   As long as they are aware she's doing it, even if they don't really like it, then okay.  If it's being kept secret from the parents, then that strikes me as sneaky and underhanded.     





That is not true everywhere.

Where I live they pay for CCD, and they are given envelopes for tithing on top of the CCD fees.

I have a friend who switched from the local Catholic church to a non-denominational Christian church because she has three kids and couldn't make all the payments for the CCD stuff, and the parish wouldn't work with her.  They were sending her notices about not sending in the tithing envelopes.  She got so mad that it was all about money.

You are the first person, in fact, who has said these services are at no charge, that I have ever heard.  Interesting how things are different in different areas within the same organization.

For further clarification:

In my town we have a very large parish, big church and school.  But the town is large enough that there are people who are sent to a neighboring parish if they don't have "room" for them here, even though this should be their home church.

One of my friends got around that by teaching 7th grade CCD.  No one else wanted to do it, and she was able to get her son into the home church.

The area also has money so they just expect people to pay.

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:59 AM
1 mom liked this
I the Church's eyes she does not need permission. The age of reason is 7/8 depending on your Parish. :-)

Quoting Veni.Vidi.Vici.:

I think at 16 she's capable of choosing her own religion. Does she need parental permission is her uncle is sponsoring her?

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IhaveHisjoy
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:00 AM

 Thanks for explaining. In our church no believer is turned away from communion. Well actually no one is turned away..it's between them and God.

I did go to mass ,as a teenager,once with an old boyfriend. He told me I couldn't take communion because I wasn't Catholic. So I stayed in my seat. The ENTIRE congregation turned and looked at me..very nasty looks by some. That was my last encounter with that particular Catholic group! haha

I did grow up great friends with a nun and priest..they didn't seem so rigid..showed mercy and understanding of my different belief from them.

Anyway, Thanks again! :)

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

The sacrament of Communion is very serious in the Catholic Church. We believe in Transubstantiation (that Christ is actually present in the bread & wine). So at the age of 7/8 most children raised in the Church go through classes to understand what Communion is. They then can choose to recieve First Communion or not. It must be their decision and not their parents making them do so. :-)

If you randomly go to a Catholic Church one day and you're not Catholic then no, you cannot partake In Communion.


Quoting IhaveHisjoy:

 I think I may be misunderstanding more than just that..lol


So if you're not a member you can't take communion? Or if you don't go to certain classes you can't take communion?


There isn't much about the Catholic church I understand..


Thanks!


ETA..sacraments= communion? Or am I way off?


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

LOL!

RCIA is a class for people who want to become Catholic. :-)



Quoting IhaveHisjoy:


 Wow, It's like you're speaking a foreign language to me..lol


 

 

"Our society strives to avoid any possibility of offending anyone- except God"...Billy Graham
christina0607
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:01 AM

I have to admit I find it hard to believe that you've worked in different states and have never run into a situation where people pay for CCD. Do you mind sharing some of these parishes with me?Since you don't work there anymore anyway? 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I find that so crazy! I'm Roman Catholic. :-)

I've worked at 4 parishes in 3 different states and we've never charged for CCD or RCIA. It was always "we accept donations" but you didn't have to pay...


 

Make someone happy today, mind your own business.

Euphoric
by Bazinga! on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:02 AM

 As a parent  I would want to know. I would say yes, but I would much like the courtesy to be asked.

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Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:06 AM
I don't agree with your last sentence at all. My mother is Agnostic. I chose to start attending Church when I was 8 with a friend's family. I attended a few different churches and at 15 I started going to a Catholic Church... Took RCIA when I was 16 and became Catholic. :-)

As for how we do it... The kids are in CCD without their parents. We teach them about God, the Catholic faith, the Catechism, etc. and continually ask then if they want to participate in this Church, this process. I have had 2 kids during my time teaching decide they didn't want to receive Communion. One flat out told me he didn't believe in it so the Priest let the parents know the kid wouldn't be receiving Communion. The second kid didn't "get it" and she didn't receive Communion until she was 12 when she herself decided she understood and wanted to receive the Sacrament. :-)


Quoting pansyprincess:

How the heck do you prove the red part?  I'm an atheist, and I took my first holy communion.  Confirmation too at 14 (or 13?) ... most kids are there because their parents are making them go ... they are in the church in the first place because their parents are making them and that's what they have been taught to believe.  If we let kids chose for themselves, they would all be atheists.




Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

The sacrament of Communion is very serious in the Catholic Church. We believe in Transubstantiation (that Christ is actually present in the bread & wine). So at the age of 7/8 most children raised in the Church go through classes to understand what Communion is. They then can choose to recieve First Communion or not. It must be their decision and not their parents making them do so. :-)

If you randomly go to a Catholic Church one day and you're not Catholic then no, you cannot partake In Communion.



Quoting IhaveHisjoy:


 I think I may be misunderstanding more than just that..lol



So if you're not a member you can't take communion? Or if you don't go to certain classes you can't take communion?



There isn't much about the Catholic church I understand..



Thanks!



ETA..sacraments= communion? Or am I way off?



Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

LOL!

RCIA is a class for people who want to become Catholic. :-)




Quoting IhaveHisjoy:



 Wow, It's like you're speaking a foreign language to me..lol



 




 

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Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:12 AM
Honestly, I find that an odd request...
Why would I lie about something like that? LOL!

Anyways...
St. Francis de Sales in Missouri
St. Mary Star of the Sea in California
Camp Pendleton Base Parish
&
NAS JRB FW Base Parish

:-)



Quoting christina0607:

I have to admit I find it hard to believe that you've worked in different states and have never run into a situation where people pay for CCD. Do you mind sharing some of these parishes with me?Since you don't work there anymore anyway? 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I find that so crazy! I'm Roman Catholic. :-)



I've worked at 4 parishes in 3 different states and we've never charged for CCD or RCIA. It was always "we accept donations" but you didn't have to pay...




 
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