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Do you think its okay for Church's to Baptize, Confirm, etc a person under 18 without Parental Consent?

The reason I'm asking...
I teach RCIA and there is a 16 year old girl in my current class. She has been here since September but yesterday I found out she is in RCIA against her parents' wishes. Her Uncle is her sponsor so I just assumed her family knew... Plus her parents attend Mass sometimes (but they never take part in the Sacraments). This girl wants to participate in Mass and be a full member of the Church. But her parents told her No.

So what would you do? Would you tell the parents? I mean, they're going to find out when they come to Mass and their daughter takes Communion.


ETA* you can join the Catholic Church after the "age of reason" with or without Parental Permission so the Priest has no problem with her being in RCIA.
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by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:56 AM
Replies (41-50):
SuperChicken
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:19 AM

 


Quoting IhaveHisjoy:

 Thanks for explaining. In our church no believer is turned away from communion. Well actually no one is turned away..it's between them and God.

I did go to mass ,as a teenager,once with an old boyfriend. He told me I couldn't take communion because I wasn't Catholic. So I stayed in my seat. The ENTIRE congregation turned and looked at me..very nasty looks by some. That was my last encounter with that particular Catholic group! haha

I did grow up great friends with a nun and priest..they didn't seem so rigid..showed mercy and understanding of my different belief from them.

Anyway, Thanks again! :)

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

The sacrament of Communion is very serious in the Catholic Church. We believe in Transubstantiation (that Christ is actually present in the bread & wine). So at the age of 7/8 most children raised in the Church go through classes to understand what Communion is. They then can choose to recieve First Communion or not. It must be their decision and not their parents making them do so. :-)

If you randomly go to a Catholic Church one day and you're not Catholic then no, you cannot partake In Communion.


Quoting IhaveHisjoy:

 I think I may be misunderstanding more than just that..lol


So if you're not a member you can't take communion? Or if you don't go to certain classes you can't take communion?


There isn't much about the Catholic church I understand..


Thanks!


ETA..sacraments= communion? Or am I way off?


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

LOL!

RCIA is a class for people who want to become Catholic. :-)



Quoting IhaveHisjoy:


 Wow, It's like you're speaking a foreign language to me..lol


 

 

I've never seen anyone actually turned away from communion even when everyone knew they weren't Catholic, but you're not supposed to take communion unless you're Catholic and are in a state of grace.

 

christina0607
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:20 AM

Sorry I should ahve made myself clear. My husband and his aunt run the religious education program for their parish. I told him what you said and he would love to call them and pick their brains about how they do it.

Thank you. 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Honestly, I find that an odd request...
Why would I lie about something like that? LOL!

Anyways...
St. Francis de Sales in Missouri
St. Mary Star of the Sea in California
Camp Pendleton Base Parish
&
NAS JRB FW Base Parish

:-)



Quoting christina0607:

I have to admit I find it hard to believe that you've worked in different states and have never run into a situation where people pay for CCD. Do you mind sharing some of these parishes with me?Since you don't work there anymore anyway? 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I find that so crazy! I'm Roman Catholic. :-)



I've worked at 4 parishes in 3 different states and we've never charged for CCD or RCIA. It was always "we accept donations" but you didn't have to pay...




 


Make someone happy today, mind your own business.

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:20 AM
I've never worked for a large Parish
:-)
Maybe that's why?

My largest RCIA class ever had 6 people in it. And my CCD classes ranged from 5-10 kids per age group.


Quoting romalove:


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

That really bothers me. :-/



I've taught RCIA & CCD in Missouri, California, & Texas and I've never worked for a Parish that charges money for those classes. I volunteer my time for free so its not like they need money to pay me...



And the books are paid for by the Parish. We do take donations so we can buy new workbooks each year and so we can buy a Bible for each kid to have as their own. :-)



But no, no fees. I guess I've been lucky...




Quoting romalove:


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure what Church you go to but CCD, RCIA, & all other Catholic classes are completely free.


:-)





Even the books we use in RCIA are 100% free provided by the Parish. And "tithing" isn't required in the Catholic Church. :-)






Quoting MicheleJM:


Who's paying for it?  It isn't like these classes come free.  Sometimes they come expensively depending on the particular church.  Especially if her parents aren't in the church community and tithing.




Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure if they know or not...



I know they are aware she wants to become Catholic but I'm unsure if they are aware that she is already in RCIA...








Quoting SuperChicken:

I think the Church has a responsibility to tell the parents what's going on, but I don't think they need her permission.   As long as they are aware she's doing it, even if they don't really like it, then okay.  If it's being kept secret from the parents, then that strikes me as sneaky and underhanded.     






That is not true everywhere.

Where I live they pay for CCD, and they are given envelopes for tithing on top of the CCD fees.

I have a friend who switched from the local Catholic church to a non-denominational Christian church because she has three kids and couldn't make all the payments for the CCD stuff, and the parish wouldn't work with her.  They were sending her notices about not sending in the tithing envelopes.  She got so mad that it was all about money.

You are the first person, in fact, who has said these services are at no charge, that I have ever heard.  Interesting how things are different in different areas within the same organization.

For further clarification:

In my town we have a very large parish, big church and school.  But the town is large enough that there are people who are sent to a neighboring parish if they don't have "room" for them here, even though this should be their home church.

One of my friends got around that by teaching 7th grade CCD.  No one else wanted to do it, and she was able to get her son into the home church.

The area also has money so they just expect people to pay.

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romalove
by Roma on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:24 AM


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I've never worked for a large Parish
:-)
Maybe that's why?

My largest RCIA class ever had 6 people in it. And my CCD classes ranged from 5-10 kids per age group.


Quoting romalove:


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

That really bothers me. :-/



I've taught RCIA & CCD in Missouri, California, & Texas and I've never worked for a Parish that charges money for those classes. I volunteer my time for free so its not like they need money to pay me...



And the books are paid for by the Parish. We do take donations so we can buy new workbooks each year and so we can buy a Bible for each kid to have as their own. :-)



But no, no fees. I guess I've been lucky...




Quoting romalove:


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure what Church you go to but CCD, RCIA, & all other Catholic classes are completely free.


:-)





Even the books we use in RCIA are 100% free provided by the Parish. And "tithing" isn't required in the Catholic Church. :-)






Quoting MicheleJM:


Who's paying for it?  It isn't like these classes come free.  Sometimes they come expensively depending on the particular church.  Especially if her parents aren't in the church community and tithing.




Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I'm not sure if they know or not...



I know they are aware she wants to become Catholic but I'm unsure if they are aware that she is already in RCIA...








Quoting SuperChicken:

I think the Church has a responsibility to tell the parents what's going on, but I don't think they need her permission.   As long as they are aware she's doing it, even if they don't really like it, then okay.  If it's being kept secret from the parents, then that strikes me as sneaky and underhanded.     






That is not true everywhere.

Where I live they pay for CCD, and they are given envelopes for tithing on top of the CCD fees.

I have a friend who switched from the local Catholic church to a non-denominational Christian church because she has three kids and couldn't make all the payments for the CCD stuff, and the parish wouldn't work with her.  They were sending her notices about not sending in the tithing envelopes.  She got so mad that it was all about money.

You are the first person, in fact, who has said these services are at no charge, that I have ever heard.  Interesting how things are different in different areas within the same organization.

For further clarification:

In my town we have a very large parish, big church and school.  But the town is large enough that there are people who are sent to a neighboring parish if they don't have "room" for them here, even though this should be their home church.

One of my friends got around that by teaching 7th grade CCD.  No one else wanted to do it, and she was able to get her son into the home church.

The area also has money so they just expect people to pay.

To give you a basis for comparison:

When my daughter was in 2nd grade, we went to 8 communion parties.  They did multiple communions over four weekends in April/May, with maybe 20 or 25 kids per service, two a day as I recall.

It's big here.

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:24 AM
LOL! Gotcha.

The Base Parishes do things differently than normal Parishes so that may a reason.

I know that at St. Francis, we always had books and pamphlets for RCIA provided for all of the catechumens and candidates at no cost. CCD materials were always paid for by donations. :-)

But like I said to another poster, I've only worked at small Parishes. I'm sure at larger Parishes the costs become greater and they need to apply fees... I've just never been a Parishner of any Church that big. :-)


Quoting christina0607:

Sorry I should ahve made myself clear. My husband and his aunt run the religious education program for their parish. I told him what you said and he would love to call them and pick their brains about how they do it.

Thank you. 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Honestly, I find that an odd request...

Why would I lie about something like that? LOL!



Anyways...

St. Francis de Sales in Missouri

St. Mary Star of the Sea in California

Camp Pendleton Base Parish

&

NAS JRB FW Base Parish



:-)







Quoting christina0607:

I have to admit I find it hard to believe that you've worked in different states and have never run into a situation where people pay for CCD. Do you mind sharing some of these parishes with me?Since you don't work there anymore anyway? 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I find that so crazy! I'm Roman Catholic. :-)





I've worked at 4 parishes in 3 different states and we've never charged for CCD or RCIA. It was always "we accept donations" but you didn't have to pay...






 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
IhaveHisjoy
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:24 AM

 

Quoting SuperChicken:

 

 

Quoting IhaveHisjoy:

 Thanks for explaining. In our church no believer is turned away from communion. Well actually no one is turned away..it's between them and God.

I did go to mass ,as a teenager,once with an old boyfriend. He told me I couldn't take communion because I wasn't Catholic. So I stayed in my seat. The ENTIRE congregation turned and looked at me..very nasty looks by some. That was my last encounter with that particular Catholic group! haha

I did grow up great friends with a nun and priest..they didn't seem so rigid..showed mercy and understanding of my different belief from them.

Anyway, Thanks again! :)

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

The sacrament of Communion is very serious in the Catholic Church. We believe in Transubstantiation (that Christ is actually present in the bread & wine). So at the age of 7/8 most children raised in the Church go through classes to understand what Communion is. They then can choose to recieve First Communion or not. It must be their decision and not their parents making them do so. :-)

If you randomly go to a Catholic Church one day and you're not Catholic then no, you cannot partake In Communion.


Quoting IhaveHisjoy:

 I think I may be misunderstanding more than just that..lol


So if you're not a member you can't take communion? Or if you don't go to certain classes you can't take communion?


There isn't much about the Catholic church I understand..


Thanks!


ETA..sacraments= communion? Or am I way off?


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

LOL!

RCIA is a class for people who want to become Catholic. :-)



Quoting IhaveHisjoy:


 Wow, It's like you're speaking a foreign language to me..lol


 

 

I've never seen anyone actually turned away from communion even when everyone knew they weren't Catholic, but you're not supposed to take communion unless you're Catholic and are in a state of grace.

 

 I was young..Today I would march on up and take communion! I am a follower of Christ, Catholic or not... ;)

 

"Our society strives to avoid any possibility of offending anyone- except God"...Billy Graham
christina0607
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:24 AM

I don't know what this means but he wants to know if it's THE St Francis de sales? I guess it's a famous church...means nothing to me, lol. 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Honestly, I find that an odd request...
Why would I lie about something like that? LOL!

Anyways...
St. Francis de Sales in Missouri
St. Mary Star of the Sea in California
Camp Pendleton Base Parish
&
NAS JRB FW Base Parish

:-)



Quoting christina0607:

I have to admit I find it hard to believe that you've worked in different states and have never run into a situation where people pay for CCD. Do you mind sharing some of these parishes with me?Since you don't work there anymore anyway? 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I find that so crazy! I'm Roman Catholic. :-)



I've worked at 4 parishes in 3 different states and we've never charged for CCD or RCIA. It was always "we accept donations" but you didn't have to pay...




 


Make someone happy today, mind your own business.

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:28 AM
:-)
Well they won't refuse you Communion but if you don't believe in Transubstantiation then we believe it is actually harmful for you to take Communion... "For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died" (1 Cor. 11:29–30).

That is why we don't want you taking Communion... It's not trying to exclude you or be mean I promise. :-)


Quoting IhaveHisjoy:

 Thanks for explaining. In our church no believer is turned away from communion. Well actually no one is turned away..it's between them and God.


I did go to mass ,as a teenager,once with an old boyfriend. He told me I couldn't take communion because I wasn't Catholic. So I stayed in my seat. The ENTIRE congregation turned and looked at me..very nasty looks by some. That was my last encounter with that particular Catholic group! haha


I did grow up great friends with a nun and priest..they didn't seem so rigid..showed mercy and understanding of my different belief from them.


Anyway, Thanks again! :)


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

The sacrament of Communion is very serious in the Catholic Church. We believe in Transubstantiation (that Christ is actually present in the bread & wine). So at the age of 7/8 most children raised in the Church go through classes to understand what Communion is. They then can choose to recieve First Communion or not. It must be their decision and not their parents making them do so. :-)

If you randomly go to a Catholic Church one day and you're not Catholic then no, you cannot partake In Communion.



Quoting IhaveHisjoy:


 I think I may be misunderstanding more than just that..lol



So if you're not a member you can't take communion? Or if you don't go to certain classes you can't take communion?



There isn't much about the Catholic church I understand..



Thanks!



ETA..sacraments= communion? Or am I way off?



Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

LOL!

RCIA is a class for people who want to become Catholic. :-)




Quoting IhaveHisjoy:



 Wow, It's like you're speaking a foreign language to me..lol



 


 

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JakeandEmmasMom
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:29 AM

 I'm surprised the priest has no problem with this.  By doing this in secret, she is not honoring her father and her mother.  They need to at least be told.

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:30 AM
Haha! No I don't think so. :-)
It's a small parish in the Ozarks! LOL!!!


Quoting christina0607:

I don't know what this means but he wants to know if it's THE St Francis de sales? I guess it's a famous church...means nothing to me, lol. 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Honestly, I find that an odd request...

Why would I lie about something like that? LOL!



Anyways...

St. Francis de Sales in Missouri

St. Mary Star of the Sea in California

Camp Pendleton Base Parish

&

NAS JRB FW Base Parish



:-)







Quoting christina0607:

I have to admit I find it hard to believe that you've worked in different states and have never run into a situation where people pay for CCD. Do you mind sharing some of these parishes with me?Since you don't work there anymore anyway? 

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I find that so crazy! I'm Roman Catholic. :-)





I've worked at 4 parishes in 3 different states and we've never charged for CCD or RCIA. It was always "we accept donations" but you didn't have to pay...






 


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