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Is there ABORTion Options counseling?

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 This has been bothering me for some time. I know that there are state laws which regulate and require options counseling for parents considering ADOPTion.There are also state laws and regualtions that mandate when and how soon parents can voluntarily terminate their parental rights. In fact, biological fathers are required to sign as well- as long as they are known.

But when it comes to ABORTion? And I am NOT speaking about those "Pregnancy Centers" run and organized by the pro-life/anti-abortion sect.

I mean to say, in those clinics / hospitals / faciltiies where ABORTions are performed, are there counslors on hand, free of charge, who provide options counseling providing alternatives to abortion?

 1- In this options counseling, are the women (and men too) counseled as to their rights, their options and what the emotional toll(s) abortion may and can have on them after the fact?

 2- Are alternatives to abortion provided and reviewed including parenting the child,

 placing the child in foster care,

placing the child with a trusted family member or friend,

day care and public assitance options,

 or adoption?

 while indicating that abortion is only one option?

 and one of last resort when all other options have been fully explored, considered and rejected?    

and they have to wait a certain period of time to consider their options before they can have an abortion?

and there must be a certain number of options sessions prior to giving consent to abortion? (or sign a release waiving their right to counseling?)

and the biological father is encouarged and required  (if he is known) to particpate and also give consent to the abortion process?

That all attempts to locate the biological father are completed, including obtaining an attorney to conduct a legal search so that the father can give consent?

Lastly, are women and men counseled not just about the medical "procedure" but the emotional cost(s) of aborton?

I ask this all because when it comes to adoption, all of this must occur PRIOR to taking a voluntary termination of parental rights? 

by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 5:25 PM
Replies (21-30):
Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:35 PM

 Thank you for sharing.

Just as laws vary from state to state when it comes to adoption laws and regulations, so do those same adoption agencies. Not all adoption agencies have their hand in their pocket. Some are quite ethical. I would like to say most are. It's the "bad apples" that give the rest a bad name. But, I will not quibble or argue that point.

I got the thought to begin this thread here after reading some moms posts in the 'other" forum (not too sure if I can say the name?)

I suppose I am just most wanting to know, how well informed women are about their options when faced with an unplanned and unexpected pregnancy. From those who have responded here, it seems they were well informed. I think t hat is good to know. Perhaps there is a lesson here for those "less ethical" adoption agencies. But, I do not know.

Quoting Southernroots:

Some moms I have run across in the past few years did receive some counseling prior to relinquishing babies to adoption.  However, the "counseling" that is often offered does not seem unbiased or honest. Adoption laws vary from state to state, and although some dates may require counseling, I doubt that all do. Counseling that is offered by adoption agencies or lawyers is suspect anyway.  Their main focus is adoption, not helping women make the best possible choice.  There is a definite conflict of interest in adoption workers offering advice to pregnant women about their options.

I have seen many pregnancy support centers which do emphasis the detrimental effects of abortion.  They even offer support to women who have had abortions.  On the other hand, there is very limited help for birth moms.  I happen to know this because I have tried to find help for birth moms in several states, and it isn't easy.  

An adoptee I knew a few years back told me afterr the fact that she'd had an abortion.  She said at several pregancy support centers she had checked out, adoption was pushed at her.  

I agree that pregnant women need to understand the potential emotional toll of abortion.  However,  I see a lot more "warnings" about how much of a toll abortion makes on a woman, and not nearly enough on how relinquishment affects women.  Several moms I've met did both, had an abortion and did adoption.  ALL of them said adoption affected them far worse than abortion.  Not saying abortion is "better" than adoption all the time.  It depends on the woman.   I know how relinquishment feels though, and I wish more women knew before relinquishment how it would affect them.

Planned Parenthood does tell women about the potential emotional toil for women.  If a woman asks them about adoption though, they refer her to an agency.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:41 PM

 {mouth hanging open}

Wait a minute: you are saying that she went to a planned parenthood center and they offered no assistance, no options, nothing to consider other than a "Abortions "R Us"  walk in, walk out "business" ? 

Would you mind sharing, what happened? Did your dd end up having the abortion?   

Quoting meriana:

As far as abortion, I believe it would all have to do with whatever laws, etc. are in place in the state one is in as well as the clinic or whatever one goes to and the people working at same.  One of my dd's was pregnant at, I think she was 17, nearly 18 and married. (she's now in her 30's).  They didn't have much money so she went to a local pp clinic to see if they could recommend a dr she could go to that they might be able to afford. She was never given any information about any physicians, clinics for low income people; she was never told about any "options" or given any other helpful information. What she was told was that she should have an abortion along with reasons why she should have an abortion. When she finally realized that was all the "counselor" or whatever position the person had, was going to suggest and talk to her about, she got up and left. If she had gone to a hospital clinic, known where to find a low income clinic or gone to a different pp clinic, she likely wouldn't have ended up with some "professional" trying to convince her getting an abortion was what she should do.

 

Citygirlk
by Gold Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:47 PM

Call planned parent hood they will be glad to answer your questions.

Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

No the father does not have to consent the woman is not his property and it's HER body.
Yes they provide counseling and then you have to wait 24 hours before an abortion. In fact some places have mandated speeches.

And the only alternative to pregnancy is not being pregnant. Those other options are parenting options. You still have to go through the pregnancy. If a woman does not wish to do that then parenting options are a moot point, don't ya think?

 Yes. I agree. I am trying however to tease out the nuances of abortion. When a woman is unexpectantly pregnant aka crisis pregnancy/unplanned pregnnacy, ect....sometimes the first thinking is abortion. If a woman takes the step further and visits her doctor/clinic in which abortuions are performed, I am looking to discover what information she is given.

The OP indictaes a list of what the woman (and man) faces when considering adoption . 


Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:51 PM

 I am not facing an unplanned/unexpected pregnancy. I am seeking others thoughts, ideas, opinions and experiences.  

BTW: does only planned parenthood provide abortions/counseling?

Quoting Citygirlk:

Call planned parent hood they will be glad to answer your questions.

Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

No the father does not have to consent the woman is not his property and it's HER body.
Yes they provide counseling and then you have to wait 24 hours before an abortion. In fact some places have mandated speeches.

And the only alternative to pregnancy is not being pregnant. Those other options are parenting options. You still have to go through the pregnancy. If a woman does not wish to do that then parenting options are a moot point, don't ya think?

 Yes. I agree. I am trying however to tease out the nuances of abortion. When a woman is unexpectantly pregnant aka crisis pregnancy/unplanned pregnnacy, ect....sometimes the first thinking is abortion. If a woman takes the step further and visits her doctor/clinic in which abortuions are performed, I am looking to discover what information she is given.

The OP indictaes a list of what the woman (and man) faces when considering adoption . 


 

celestegood
by Silver Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:54 PM
2 moms liked this
The bio father is not needed to consent for an abortion because of rape and abuse against women. A man does not own a woman and he has no say on what she does with her body.
Otherwise, they do have waiting periods and counseling.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SandyLaxner
by Bronze Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:54 PM

 


Quoting LauraKW:

A father has no rights concerning abortion.

Sad.  Way to bash men.

 

frogbender
by Captain Underpants on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:58 PM
2 moms liked this



Quoting SandyLaxner:



Quoting LauraKW:

A father has no rights concerning abortion.

Sad.  Way to bash men.


She's not bashing men. She's stating a simple fact. Way to be oversensitive.


Bookwormy
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:00 PM
2 moms liked this
Per the SCOTUS its a privacy issue between a woman & her physician, since it's her body. If it were his body, women would have no rights. It isn't men's fault & it isn't bashing. It's biology & the law.


Quoting SandyLaxner:

 




Quoting LauraKW:

A father has no rights concerning abortion.

Sad.  Way to bash men.


 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
SandyLaxner
by Bronze Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:01 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting AdrianneHill:

Sounds like someone wants to ensure that too much time passes for someone to receive an early and safe abortion by placing mountains of paperwork and invasive questions in between paying for the abortion and receiving it.

Some of those things already exist. I would never support prohibiting an abortion (or even delaying it) so the biological father could be found, given several non consecutive counseling sessions, given a high pressure speech on the evils of abortion, and then allowed to sign a piece of paper giving permission for another human being to have an abortion

The woman deciding to have the abortion or not should be FULLY informed,counseling should be taken,one never knows how you will feel after an abortion unless/untill it actually happens to you.

 

AdrianneHill
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:02 PM
1 mom liked this
The only problem is that by giving any man a say, that opens it up for far more women being abused or misled than by letting the woman decide who she tells what to. It is unfair but so is pregnancy if it comes to it. The risk is only the woman's even if they both reap the "reward". No man had died from complications arising from pregnancy.
I could see men easily misusing the power to veto a pregnancy. Whether it be to force an unwanted pregnancy to be terminated or to force a woman to remain pregnant against her wishes by promising to raise the baby when it is born and then deciding it is too hard after all, both of those leave the woman's body in the decisions of the man. Until he Carries the baby, by necessity his decisions must be secondary to the wishes of the mother


Quoting SandyLaxner:

 




Quoting LauraKW:

A father has no rights concerning abortion.

Sad.  Way to bash men.


 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
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