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Transgender Fountain 1st grader banned from girls bathroom, discrimination claim filed

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 Since transgender seems to be the hot topic.....

http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_22674172/transgender-fountain-1st-grader-banned-from-girls-bathroom?utm_medium=facebook

Transgender Fountain 1st grader banned from girls bathroom, discrimination claim filed

Posted: 02/26/2013 05:25:40 PM MST
February 27, 2013 1:2 AM GMTUpdated: 02/26/2013 06:02:32 PM MST
By Colleen O'Connor
The Denver Post
denverpost.com


 

 

6-year-old Coy Mathis (Photo provided by Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund)

The parents of a transgender 6-year-old have filed a complaint with the Colorado Civil Rights Division because Eagleside Elementary School in Fountain has banned the 1st grader from using the girl's bathroom.

The child, Coy Mathis, was born male but identifies as female. She has attended the school since December 2011.

"This is significant for both Colorado, and nationally," said Michael Silverman, executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund, who is representing the family. "For Colorado, it is the first test of the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act as related to access to bathrooms by transgender students.

"On a national level, as we see more and more transgender people coming out at younger and younger ages, people will be watching what happens in Colorado."

In November, a Maine state court ruled that a school district did not violate a transgender student's rights under the Maine Human Rights Act when it prohibited her from using the girls' restroom.

Transgender identity is a relatively new issue in the nation and so there is little uniformity among school district policies. Some in Colorado, including Boulder Valley Schools, have already crafted detailed policies citing the state Anti-Discrimination Act. Others have not.

Boulder's four-page set of guidelines specifically addresses restroom accessibility, stating that "students shall have access to the restroom that corresponds to their gender identity consistently asserted at school."

The policy was developed about five years ago because "the district has long been committed to the inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity," said district spokesman Briggs Gamblin.

Every two years, the district participates Boulder County's Youth Risk Behavior Survey, which "consistently has found one of the high-risk groups for teen suicide are GLBT or questioning. It's critically important that these students feel included - part of the community, not separated from it," Gamblin said.

Coy Mathis wears girls' clothing and students and staff used the female pronouns when referring to her. But Fountain-Fort Carson School District 8 administrators decided over winter break that the child should use the boys bathroom, or the staff restroom or one in the school nurse's office.

That decision took into account "not only Coy, but other students in the building, their parents, and the future impact a boy, with male genitals, using a girls' bathroom would have as Coy grew older," said Wm. Kelly Dude, a lawyer representing the school district wrote in a Dec. 28 letter to Silverman.

Dude argued that the district is in compliance with the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act because "Coy attends class as all other students, is permitted to wear girls' clothes, and is referred to as the parents have requested," and was allowed access to single-user restrooms used by employees or gender-neutral restrooms in the school's health room.

Coy's parents, Kathryn and Jeremy Mathis, took her out of school. She is being homeschooled until the issue is resolved.

The family will appear at a press conference at 11 a.m. Wednesday on the west steps of the State Capitol to announce the filing of the complaint.

"It's important for us to talk about this, because a lot of people have been so afraid to be their true selves for so long," Kathryn Mathis said. "They've know from very young children who they are, but were afraid to tell. We want to help create a society where it's OK to be who you are."

She said that as soon as Coy began to talk, she insisted that she was a girl, not a boy.

As parents, they were sad and upset when they heard that Coy could no longer use the girls bathroom at school, Kathryn Mathis said.

"This automatically singles her out and stigmatizes her," she said. "It sets her up for future harassing and bullying, and creates an unsafe environment. The school has a wonderful opportunity to teach students that differences are OK, and we should embrace their differences, instead of teaching them to discriminate against someone who is a little different."

 

 Thoughts?

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 8:18 PM
Replies (391-400):
tscritch
by Silver Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 8:54 PM

 They have four other children, of both genders.

Quoting steffielou_who:

IMHO, the parents wanted a daughter so they have treated their son as a daughter! At 6 years old, this child should not identify or know anything about being transgendered!

I also think a child with a penis should never use a rest room with little girls!

I'm actually disgusted that the parents would even think its okay!

 

girlsclubmom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this


No...I told people I was a boy at the time. But nobody fed into it and said OH,of course you are. They still called me by my given name and took me to the girls restroom and they smiled sweetly when people mistook me for a boy beacuse of the clothes I choose and my short haircut and then they corrected them - no, this is not my son , this is my daughter. They were never mean about it but they did not feed into it either...and I grew out of it and realized it is awesome to be a girl - it was a stage I was exploring - maybe it is for her too. She will never really know because her parents have now convinced her that her feeling are really because he should have been born a she. I appreciate that these are people who are doing what they think is right for there kid , but even this is the right thing for there child (which I do not think it is) , where do the other parents and girls rights come in? They have given them decent options to allow their child to use a non boy restroom, that should be enough. Honestly, I think the world has gone crazy.

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

The difference is you "wanted" to be a boy. This child doesn't want to be a girl. She IS a girl in her mind and soul.

Quoting girlsclubmom:


I agree.. Although I wonder if they are playing too much into this (the parents) . At 6 , I wanted to be a boy too. My parents thought it was cute but did not feed into it. I eventually grew out of it as most kids do. Not every feeling and fantasy defines who that kid will be.


Quoting happinessforyou:

1- What a sweet child with wonderful parents that are trying to do what is in her best interest.

2-They are making way too much of this. All the other little girls should not be made to accept this one child's issues. They are too young.

3. I worked in a school and at this age-they can't always adjust their own clothing and some innocent thing could result in an "incident".

4. IMO this one child should use the other bathroom. Really not discrimination-just being proactive about the future.






mommaoftwo
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 9:44 PM

Just make unisex bathrooms, all bathrooms should have stalls. That solves the problem

My boys go into the girls room with me, I am much more comfortable with them going into the women's room, then I would be of my daughter going into the men's room. 

Everything in a girl's/woman's room is in a stall, it is not a big deal.

mommyredlove
by Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 9:56 PM
That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.


Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?




Quoting mommyredlove:

It is absolutely the same thing with bathrooms and buses or drinking fountains. It isn't about the bathroom it is about segregation. Coy identifies as a girl so she should br able to use the girls bathroon.





So you are making kids like Coy outcasts by saying they don't fit into either category.





You are bringing genitals into play! Eyeroll all


you want but you are. This is about gender identity not genitals. There is a difference.





You can try to make yourself feel better for being close minded by saying.g you would fundraiser but all you are supporting is ineqaulity.





A Guy peeing outside and a transgender girl peeing in a stall are completely different. Ridiculous example. A woman or a man peeing outside exposing themselves would get in trouble. A transgender girl or boy using the bathroom or locker room of the gender they identify with is not breaking the law.





As for your teen example....if parents like you starting.g teaching their children acceptance at age 6 then that 14 year old girl would just see the 18 year old transgender girl as another girl.





You saying any penis is a threat to your daughters even one attached to a transgender girl is simply prejudice. Just because the girl has a penis doesn't mean they will hurt your daughters.





I know its pointless to argue with prejudice and discrimination. You aren't going to change. And you will pass it onto your kids too which is sad.





What if your child was a hermaphrodite? Would you want that child segregated and made into an outcast?





I will protect my son too...but not from kids like Coy but from kids that have parents like you.






Quoting illinoismommy83:

Gay girls and downs syndrome girls have vaginas. Bathrooms and changing rooms are sorted by genitalia. That is how life is. We have a room for people with boy parts and a room for people with girl parts. If you don't feel you belong in the room that your genitals sort you by then a 3rd option makes the most sense. 

You do not use your genitals to drink or ride on a bus so I hardly see how genitals come into play. *eyeroll* The only activities that I feel children should be seperated based on genitals are ones that involve them. 

You believe what you want. I will believe what I want. If the situation comes up in our school district I will push as hard as I can for fundraisers to accomodate facilities in the affected schools. I don't care who looks down on me for protecting my daughters. Changing rooms and restrooms are sorted by genitals for a reason.

Can you explain to me why a penis being accidentally exposed to a young girl at the park (like a guy peeing discreetly behind a bush with effort made to hide himself and a kid sees) makes someone a sex offender by a penis being forcibly allowed in the locker rooms and being accidentally exposed to a young girl is magically okay now? What if its an 18 year old student with a penis and a 14 year old girl at the high school level?

Quoting mommyredlove:

You just proved my point. You are the kind of mother i am talking about.







So by your definition transgender people and anyone else who's "different" should be forced to hide under the guise of protecting them? So gender neutral single bathrooms....what's next? Different water fountains? Different buses?







Instead of making your child the victim why don't you teach them acceptance? You make your child a victim who cries hysterically not kids like Coy. A kid that age wouldn't know to be uncomfortable and cry hysterically unless you taught them that. She would just see Coy as a girl like she is but had some different genitalia. If you taught her that.







You are so concerned about the "victims" but parents like you are using the excuse of being a victim to cover up the fact that you are creating bullies with this mentality.







It would be the same with a gay student or a kid with down syndrome....are they not allowed in the same bathroom as your child? They were born that way and so are transgender people.







Kids like Coy are bullied because of parents like you teaching their children that it is OK to segregate anyone "different"











Quoting illinoismommy83:

Merriam-Webster says a bully is "a blustering browbeating person; especially : one habitually cruel to others who are weaker." Merriam-Webster says that protect means "to cover or shield from exposure, injury, damage, or destruction : guard." Why is it SO wrong for the parents of girls to want to protect their young girls from having to pull down their pants in a room with a person with a penis? I don't want to hear how the stall has doors - I'm aware. The door doesn't magically make girls feel safe. Doors have cracks. 

I hardly see how its bullying when young girls are crying hysterically that they cannot pee at school or change for gym class because someone with a penis is in the room with them. Wouldn't the girls crying hysterically be just as much of a victim?

Include the one at the discomfort of the many? What is so wrong with simply building a gender neutral single stall bathroom?

Quoting mommyredlove:

Bullies. This is how it starts. This is why bullying is so prevalent. I feel sorry for your kids. Teach them to love not hate.









I applaud Coy s parents. They should be her advocate and fight for her. I would do the same for my son. This is about more than a restroom. It is about equal rights and acceptance.










Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:00 PM
So you told you parents that you felt your vagina was wrong? You told them you were a boy and your girl body felt bad and wrong and it upset you that your body didnt "fit"?

Going through a tomboy phase and knowing you're in the wrong body are two very different things.


Quoting girlsclubmom:


No...I told people I was a boy at the time. But nobody fed into it and said OH,of course you are. They still called me by my given name and took me to the girls restroom and they smiled sweetly when people mistook me for a boy beacuse of the clothes I choose and my short haircut and then they corrected them - no, this is not my son , this is my daughter. They were never mean about it but they did not feed into it either...and I grew out of it and realized it is awesome to be a girl - it was a stage I was exploring - maybe it is for her too. She will never really know because her parents have now convinced her that her feeling are really because he should have been born a she. I appreciate that these are people who are doing what they think is right for there kid , but even this is the right thing for there child (which I do not think it is) , where do the other parents and girls rights come in? They have given them decent options to allow their child to use a non boy restroom, that should be enough. Honestly, I think the world has gone crazy.


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

The difference is you "wanted" to be a boy. This child doesn't want to be a girl. She IS a girl in her mind and soul.



Quoting girlsclubmom:


I agree.. Although I wonder if they are playing too much into this (the parents) . At 6 , I wanted to be a boy too. My parents thought it was cute but did not feed into it. I eventually grew out of it as most kids do. Not every feeling and fantasy defines who that kid will be.



Quoting happinessforyou:

1- What a sweet child with wonderful parents that are trying to do what is in her best interest.

2-They are making way too much of this. All the other little girls should not be made to accept this one child's issues. They are too young.

3. I worked in a school and at this age-they can't always adjust their own clothing and some innocent thing could result in an "incident".

4. IMO this one child should use the other bathroom. Really not discrimination-just being proactive about the future.








Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mama2JoshKatie
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:33 PM

Actually I'm a very loving person. Having a different belief or opinion then others is not hate. I don't hate the child's parents, I just believe they probably started saying and doing things to confuse the poor kid the minute he picked up a doll. I happen to believe they are wrong. And I certainly could never hate a child. I feel sad for him. Nope no hate here.


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Translation... I'm a hateful human being and won't change my ignorant thoughts.

Quoting Mama2JoshKatie:

Well maybe they wanted another girl or maybe they were trying to make up for the triplet girl who is severely disabled or maybe a hundred other reasons. All I know is that this is the result of the way he has been brought up since birth and nobody will convince me otherwise.



Quoting tscritch:

 Except she has 4 siblings (she is a triplet herself) and not all her siblings are boys.


Quoting Mama2JoshKatie:


That poor baby. His parents did this to him. They probably desperately wanted a girl and since they couldn't get one they made their son one instead. If he insisted he was a girl it was only because he had been hearing about it from the womb.


 






Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:38 PM
You stated that the family wanted to "make up" for their disabled daughter.

That is a VERY hateful thing to say.


Quoting Mama2JoshKatie:

Actually I'm a very loving person. Having a different belief or opinion then others is not hate. I don't hate the child's parents, I just believe they probably started saying and doing things to confuse the poor kid the minute he picked up a doll. I happen to believe they are wrong. And I certainly could never hate a child. I feel sad for him. Nope no hate here.



Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Translation... I'm a hateful human being and won't change my ignorant thoughts.



Quoting Mama2JoshKatie:

Well maybe they wanted another girl or maybe they were trying to make up for the triplet girl who is severely disabled or maybe a hundred other reasons. All I know is that this is the result of the way he has been brought up since birth and nobody will convince me otherwise.




Quoting tscritch:

 Except she has 4 siblings (she is a triplet herself) and not all her siblings are boys.



Quoting Mama2JoshKatie:



That poor baby. His parents did this to him. They probably desperately wanted a girl and since they couldn't get one they made their son one instead. If he insisted he was a girl it was only because he had been hearing about it from the womb.



 








Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mama2JoshKatie
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:47 PM

No I stated it as a possibility that they could be trying to have another healthy daughter. Of course I don't really know what's going on in their minds, and again I don't hate anyone. I do know that I am done with this conversation though.


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

You stated that the family wanted to "make up" for their disabled daughter.

That is a VERY hateful thing to say.


Quoting Mama2JoshKatie:

Actually I'm a very loving person. Having a different belief or opinion then others is not hate. I don't hate the child's parents, I just believe they probably started saying and doing things to confuse the poor kid the minute he picked up a doll. I happen to believe they are wrong. And I certainly could never hate a child. I feel sad for him. Nope no hate here.



Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Translation... I'm a hateful human being and won't change my ignorant thoughts.



Quoting Mama2JoshKatie:

Well maybe they wanted another girl or maybe they were trying to make up for the triplet girl who is severely disabled or maybe a hundred other reasons. All I know is that this is the result of the way he has been brought up since birth and nobody will convince me otherwise.




Quoting tscritch:

 Except she has 4 siblings (she is a triplet herself) and not all her siblings are boys.



Quoting Mama2JoshKatie:



That poor baby. His parents did this to him. They probably desperately wanted a girl and since they couldn't get one they made their son one instead. If he insisted he was a girl it was only because he had been hearing about it from the womb.



 










tscritch
by Silver Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 10:54 PM

 I just wanted to be the 400th poster!!

Carry on!

tambrathegreat
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Children with gender identity dysphoria do not 'grow out of it.'

Quoting NewMom11222011:

So if six year old anatomical male children feel like males or six year old anatomical female children feel like females they could be wrong, too, and grow out of it to be transgendered?

Quoting Carpy:

He is freaking SIX, not a MAN or even a teen.

Quoting desertlvn:


Then why would most therapists and psychologist working with these children suggest that they live as the gender they feel most comfortable with?

How would you feel if society suddenly forced you to look like a man, everyone started addressing you as a man, forced you to use the men's room, and basically denied your true feelings about WHO you really are? That is what these children go through.

They aren't thinking they are pigs or superheros. They are wholly human and living in an oppressive situation.


Quoting Carpy:

If they aren't I would think it would be WAY more damaging for him to have gone to school dressed like a girl and using the girls restroom only to outgrow it, than telling a six yr old he needs to dress appropriately for school and use the little boys room. It isn't like he will be damaged by wearing at the least, gender neutral clothing.







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