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Transgender Fountain 1st grader banned from girls bathroom, discrimination claim filed

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 Since transgender seems to be the hot topic.....

http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_22674172/transgender-fountain-1st-grader-banned-from-girls-bathroom?utm_medium=facebook

Transgender Fountain 1st grader banned from girls bathroom, discrimination claim filed

Posted: 02/26/2013 05:25:40 PM MST
February 27, 2013 1:2 AM GMTUpdated: 02/26/2013 06:02:32 PM MST
By Colleen O'Connor
The Denver Post
denverpost.com


 

 

6-year-old Coy Mathis (Photo provided by Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund)

The parents of a transgender 6-year-old have filed a complaint with the Colorado Civil Rights Division because Eagleside Elementary School in Fountain has banned the 1st grader from using the girl's bathroom.

The child, Coy Mathis, was born male but identifies as female. She has attended the school since December 2011.

"This is significant for both Colorado, and nationally," said Michael Silverman, executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund, who is representing the family. "For Colorado, it is the first test of the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act as related to access to bathrooms by transgender students.

"On a national level, as we see more and more transgender people coming out at younger and younger ages, people will be watching what happens in Colorado."

In November, a Maine state court ruled that a school district did not violate a transgender student's rights under the Maine Human Rights Act when it prohibited her from using the girls' restroom.

Transgender identity is a relatively new issue in the nation and so there is little uniformity among school district policies. Some in Colorado, including Boulder Valley Schools, have already crafted detailed policies citing the state Anti-Discrimination Act. Others have not.

Boulder's four-page set of guidelines specifically addresses restroom accessibility, stating that "students shall have access to the restroom that corresponds to their gender identity consistently asserted at school."

The policy was developed about five years ago because "the district has long been committed to the inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity," said district spokesman Briggs Gamblin.

Every two years, the district participates Boulder County's Youth Risk Behavior Survey, which "consistently has found one of the high-risk groups for teen suicide are GLBT or questioning. It's critically important that these students feel included - part of the community, not separated from it," Gamblin said.

Coy Mathis wears girls' clothing and students and staff used the female pronouns when referring to her. But Fountain-Fort Carson School District 8 administrators decided over winter break that the child should use the boys bathroom, or the staff restroom or one in the school nurse's office.

That decision took into account "not only Coy, but other students in the building, their parents, and the future impact a boy, with male genitals, using a girls' bathroom would have as Coy grew older," said Wm. Kelly Dude, a lawyer representing the school district wrote in a Dec. 28 letter to Silverman.

Dude argued that the district is in compliance with the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act because "Coy attends class as all other students, is permitted to wear girls' clothes, and is referred to as the parents have requested," and was allowed access to single-user restrooms used by employees or gender-neutral restrooms in the school's health room.

Coy's parents, Kathryn and Jeremy Mathis, took her out of school. She is being homeschooled until the issue is resolved.

The family will appear at a press conference at 11 a.m. Wednesday on the west steps of the State Capitol to announce the filing of the complaint.

"It's important for us to talk about this, because a lot of people have been so afraid to be their true selves for so long," Kathryn Mathis said. "They've know from very young children who they are, but were afraid to tell. We want to help create a society where it's OK to be who you are."

She said that as soon as Coy began to talk, she insisted that she was a girl, not a boy.

As parents, they were sad and upset when they heard that Coy could no longer use the girls bathroom at school, Kathryn Mathis said.

"This automatically singles her out and stigmatizes her," she said. "It sets her up for future harassing and bullying, and creates an unsafe environment. The school has a wonderful opportunity to teach students that differences are OK, and we should embrace their differences, instead of teaching them to discriminate against someone who is a little different."

 

 Thoughts?

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 8:18 PM
Replies (401-410):
diospira
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 6:59 AM



Quoting desertlvn:



Quoting diospira:



Quoting Arroree:


Gender is far from being an absolute, which is why some people are born with parts for both genders or neither. Some are born with only partial parts and some are born with extra.

Gender is an average, just because something is the average or the norm does not even come close to making it an absolute.

Quoting TranquilMind:

 Likewise, it makes me sad that a bunch of parents are raising kids with no absolutes whatsoever, not even the most absolute one in humanity...gender. 



This bears repeating. Gender is not an absolute.

And anyway, it´s the person that counts, not their assigned gender or their genitalia.

Coy´s parents are supporting her for who she is. 

No matter what the future holds, she will know that she had her parents´ unconditional support and love. 




There was a NYT article title, "What's So Bad About A Boy Who Wants To Wear A Dress?" It focuses exactly on how gender isn't absolute. Good Read.


Thanks. It is a good read. As it says, gender is a spectrum.


I especially liked this quote from a mom:

“It might make your world more tidy to have two neat and separate gender possibilities, but when you squish out the space between, you do not accurately represent lived reality. More than that, you’re trying to ‘squish out’ my kid.”




http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/12/magazine/whats-so-bad-about-a-boy-who-wants-to-wear-a-dress.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1


Molly2u
by New Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 7:07 AM

I can see the parents supporting the six year old. But whats wrong with the parents? Let the child grow for goodness sakes. My friend child was born a boy raised as a girl. She had hormone replacement and looked like a girl. She quit all treatments at university by the forth year and reappeared as a boy and has had on going physiological traumas. 

ReginaStar
by Gold Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 7:39 AM

I feel for transgender ppl on the bathroom issue and that's one reason I support all public places including a unisex bathroom however I think bathroom designation should be based on your genitalia not sexual identity. 

Lottie925
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 10:48 AM

Very true. You can see clips of Coy on Katie Couric, and she makes it clear that she is uncomfortable, holding on to her mother and listening to everything everybody says. Here "she" is, dressed as a girl, being supported as a girl and yet Mom... clearly still "anxious" and even depressed looking.

I could be wrong but I think Coy was 1 of triplets? Perhaps the answers to her difficulties started in utero with tough living quarters.

Quoting rgba:

While I fully support the parents' attempts to support their child, and do agree with letting her use the girls' room, I do agree with this.  No parent should share their 6 year old's name and picture with national news media. 


Quoting Lottie925:


Maybe in 1 st grade. But what about after puberty sets in and Coy has facial hair, pertruding Adam's apple, and is larger and more muscular then most grls? And btw... Secrets out now, they posted the child's face all over the Internet which is incredibly irresponsible. If you care about your child and worry about their well being, you don't expose them in this way. A 6 year old does not understand the consequences of being exposed nationally as transgendered person. And may change his feelings over time.our neighbors daughter wanted her hair cut short and wanted to be called Bob. She always wore sporty gender neutral or boys clothes. Now that she's in middle school, she dresses similarly, and goes by her own name with longer hair. She likes to hang with the boys, skateboard etc., but upon reaching puberty realized... I like being a girl and was offended that people thought otherwise... But mom and dad supported her either way. IMO coy is too young to fully understand gender identity and the national attention "she" is receiving.

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

 Everyone in the school knows that she is a GIRL.  No one sees her penis so they have no clue what genitalia she has.  They only know that she has pretty long hair, wears dresses, and is a cute little girl. 

 It would be more awkward to see a little girl in a dress going into the boys restroom.

Quoting fliptopz4:



Quoting purpleducky:

She should be allowed to use the restroom she is comfortable with. 


What about the little girls who are uncomfortable with a boy being in the restroom with them?

 







witchybabymomma
by Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 12:08 PM

 Gotta love all the CM judgemental people. A persons gender identity isn't something a parent can "play along with" it's how you identify yourself. I mean really when an adult child comes out as gay are the parents playing along by accepting their child for who they are??

I have concerns over the whole restroom issue and am not certain I would want my child in the same restroom as another child who is physically the opposite gender. In this instance I can see the parents being upset because of the change of policy, but it seems the school did offer reasonable alternatives. easonable in my opinion anyway.

silver1diamond
by New Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 12:50 PM

Quoting motherslove82:

I understand supporting your child, but I think six is too young to make such a drastic, life-changing decision. If he has male parts, he should use the boy's bathroom.

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'


Sparkly3
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 12:56 PM

Until you are an adult and can "legaly change" your gender, go to the bathroom for the gender you are. If the child wants long hair and dresses do what you as a parent feel. cut the hair don't cut, put em in dresses or pants. not my place to judge or decide, but teach them the rules daycare/school will have. I do not think that that school was discrimanating in telling a boy to go to the boys bathroom.

hismommy2010
by Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:35 PM

 I don't think the child should be able to use the opposite sex restroom at this time. The child is still a male, and these kids are to young to understand, and I don't feel it's the schools place to educate the kids on this.

I also don't feel the child at 4 years old, has the understanding to say they want a sex change, that idea was put there by the parents.

12hellokitty
by Platinum Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:41 PM

 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 


Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.


Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?

tscritch
by Silver Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:42 PM
1 mom liked this

 If the other girls know and think of her as a girl, why would this make them uncomfortable unless their parents tell them to be?

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 

 

Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.


Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?

 

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