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Transgender Fountain 1st grader banned from girls bathroom, discrimination claim filed

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 Since transgender seems to be the hot topic.....

http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_22674172/transgender-fountain-1st-grader-banned-from-girls-bathroom?utm_medium=facebook

Transgender Fountain 1st grader banned from girls bathroom, discrimination claim filed

Posted: 02/26/2013 05:25:40 PM MST
February 27, 2013 1:2 AM GMTUpdated: 02/26/2013 06:02:32 PM MST
By Colleen O'Connor
The Denver Post
denverpost.com


 

 

6-year-old Coy Mathis (Photo provided by Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund)

The parents of a transgender 6-year-old have filed a complaint with the Colorado Civil Rights Division because Eagleside Elementary School in Fountain has banned the 1st grader from using the girl's bathroom.

The child, Coy Mathis, was born male but identifies as female. She has attended the school since December 2011.

"This is significant for both Colorado, and nationally," said Michael Silverman, executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund, who is representing the family. "For Colorado, it is the first test of the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act as related to access to bathrooms by transgender students.

"On a national level, as we see more and more transgender people coming out at younger and younger ages, people will be watching what happens in Colorado."

In November, a Maine state court ruled that a school district did not violate a transgender student's rights under the Maine Human Rights Act when it prohibited her from using the girls' restroom.

Transgender identity is a relatively new issue in the nation and so there is little uniformity among school district policies. Some in Colorado, including Boulder Valley Schools, have already crafted detailed policies citing the state Anti-Discrimination Act. Others have not.

Boulder's four-page set of guidelines specifically addresses restroom accessibility, stating that "students shall have access to the restroom that corresponds to their gender identity consistently asserted at school."

The policy was developed about five years ago because "the district has long been committed to the inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity," said district spokesman Briggs Gamblin.

Every two years, the district participates Boulder County's Youth Risk Behavior Survey, which "consistently has found one of the high-risk groups for teen suicide are GLBT or questioning. It's critically important that these students feel included - part of the community, not separated from it," Gamblin said.

Coy Mathis wears girls' clothing and students and staff used the female pronouns when referring to her. But Fountain-Fort Carson School District 8 administrators decided over winter break that the child should use the boys bathroom, or the staff restroom or one in the school nurse's office.

That decision took into account "not only Coy, but other students in the building, their parents, and the future impact a boy, with male genitals, using a girls' bathroom would have as Coy grew older," said Wm. Kelly Dude, a lawyer representing the school district wrote in a Dec. 28 letter to Silverman.

Dude argued that the district is in compliance with the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act because "Coy attends class as all other students, is permitted to wear girls' clothes, and is referred to as the parents have requested," and was allowed access to single-user restrooms used by employees or gender-neutral restrooms in the school's health room.

Coy's parents, Kathryn and Jeremy Mathis, took her out of school. She is being homeschooled until the issue is resolved.

The family will appear at a press conference at 11 a.m. Wednesday on the west steps of the State Capitol to announce the filing of the complaint.

"It's important for us to talk about this, because a lot of people have been so afraid to be their true selves for so long," Kathryn Mathis said. "They've know from very young children who they are, but were afraid to tell. We want to help create a society where it's OK to be who you are."

She said that as soon as Coy began to talk, she insisted that she was a girl, not a boy.

As parents, they were sad and upset when they heard that Coy could no longer use the girls bathroom at school, Kathryn Mathis said.

"This automatically singles her out and stigmatizes her," she said. "It sets her up for future harassing and bullying, and creates an unsafe environment. The school has a wonderful opportunity to teach students that differences are OK, and we should embrace their differences, instead of teaching them to discriminate against someone who is a little different."

 

 Thoughts?

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 8:18 PM
Replies (411-420):
12hellokitty
by Platinum Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:47 PM
1 mom liked this

I think people need to keep in mind Coy's parents request for Coy to use a different bathroom is not based on a physical handicap.  Many kids don't like to use the bathroom with other kids, so should schools be expected to accommodate every bathroom request made by students? 

12hellokitty
by Platinum Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this

 If Coy has a penis why would using the boys bathroom make him uncomfortable, unless the parents have influenced him to be? 


Quoting tscritch:

 If the other girls know and think of her as a girl, why would this make them uncomfortable unless their parents tell them to be?

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 

 

Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.


Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?

 


 

tscritch
by Silver Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Because Coy lives as a girl. Do you use the mens bathroom?

 Do you think the students who see and know Coy as a girl in all ways would be more confused by her going into the boys or girls bathroom?

 

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 If Coy has a penis why would using the boys bathroom make him uncomfortable, unless the parents have influenced him to be? 

 

Quoting tscritch:

 If the other girls know and think of her as a girl, why would this make them uncomfortable unless their parents tell them to be?

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 

 

Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.


Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?

 

 

 

 

Billiejeens
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 2:01 PM
1 mom liked this

 

I just don't think you get it, you go through the class, or office or where ever people are and you separate them.

All the normal people you put in a corner,  the non-normal (to be kind) one or two you talk to them and you make a list of anything that would make them uncomfortable, and then you give that list to the normal people.

That is the only interaction that you have with the normal people.

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 

 

Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.


Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?


 

12hellokitty
by Platinum Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 2:06 PM

 Why would I use the men's bathroom if I'm not a man? 

Probable less confused then if they innocently noticed Coy has a penis. 


Quoting tscritch:

Because Coy lives as a girl. Do you use the mens bathroom?

 Do you think the students who see and know Coy as a girl in all ways would be more confused by her going into the boys or girls bathroom?

 

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 If Coy has a penis why would using the boys bathroom make him uncomfortable, unless the parents have influenced him to be? 

 

Quoting tscritch:

 If the other girls know and think of her as a girl, why would this make them uncomfortable unless their parents tell them to be?

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 

 

Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.


Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?

 

 

 

 


 

tscritch
by Silver Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 2:15 PM

You HONESTLY think that if all the students think she is a girl, that is what they know her to be, would be more confused by her using the girls room then a "girl" going into the boys room? Don't you think that would raise way more questions than if she uses the girls room?  

I have a 6yo in school, she has never once come home and told me that she has seen any other child's vagina (or penis) at any time while using the restroom (or any time at all). She goes into the stall, does her business, goes back to class.

I am going to make an assumption that this is what Coy and all the other children in her school do as well.

I would be more worried about the fact that any child is showing other children their privates than I would about what their privates looked like.

IF she were to see a girl in the restroom that had a penis I don't think she would really care at all. She may bring it up to me and *gasp* I would use it as a wonderful opportunity to explain to her that people are different and explain to her (at her level) why that child had a penis. Heck I might even contact the  child's parents to see if I could learn more from them a good way to help my child learn and understand!! Crazy I know!!!

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 Why would I use the men's bathroom if I'm not a man? 

Probable less confused then if they innocently noticed Coy has a penis. 

 

Quoting tscritch:

Because Coy lives as a girl. Do you use the mens bathroom?

 Do you think the students who see and know Coy as a girl in all ways would be more confused by her going into the boys or girls bathroom?

 

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 If Coy has a penis why would using the boys bathroom make him uncomfortable, unless the parents have influenced him to be? 

 

Quoting tscritch:

 If the other girls know and think of her as a girl, why would this make them uncomfortable unless their parents tell them to be?

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 

 

Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.


Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

girlsclubmom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Um , No I never spoke like that - I am pretty sure most 6 year olds don't speak like that (and I have had 3), However from what I read, the article does not say that the girl did either. So, how do you know she would not grow out of it. My feeling is let the kid be who they are but you do not have to feed into every idea and whim they have when they are little. When they make choices like this when they are older, it is different. 

Regardless - even if they are right and she is in the wrong body - at this point she is biologically a boy and should not use the girls bathroom.The school has given them options that are good and they are being ridiculous imo to insist that their child who is a boy biologically should be allowed to go into the girls room.What about the feelings of the girls who do not want a boy in there? Or does that not matter to thee parents or to you?


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

So you told you parents that you felt your vagina was wrong? You told them you were a boy and your girl body felt bad and wrong and it upset you that your body didnt "fit"?

Going through a tomboy phase and knowing you're in the wrong body are two very different things.


Quoting girlsclubmom:


No...I told people I was a boy at the time. But nobody fed into it and said OH,of course you are. They still called me by my given name and took me to the girls restroom and they smiled sweetly when people mistook me for a boy beacuse of the clothes I choose and my short haircut and then they corrected them - no, this is not my son , this is my daughter. They were never mean about it but they did not feed into it either...and I grew out of it and realized it is awesome to be a girl - it was a stage I was exploring - maybe it is for her too. She will never really know because her parents have now convinced her that her feeling are really because he should have been born a she. I appreciate that these are people who are doing what they think is right for there kid , but even this is the right thing for there child (which I do not think it is) , where do the other parents and girls rights come in? They have given them decent options to allow their child to use a non boy restroom, that should be enough. Honestly, I think the world has gone crazy.


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

The difference is you "wanted" to be a boy. This child doesn't want to be a girl. She IS a girl in her mind and soul.



Quoting girlsclubmom:


I agree.. Although I wonder if they are playing too much into this (the parents) . At 6 , I wanted to be a boy too. My parents thought it was cute but did not feed into it. I eventually grew out of it as most kids do. Not every feeling and fantasy defines who that kid will be.



Quoting happinessforyou:

1- What a sweet child with wonderful parents that are trying to do what is in her best interest.

2-They are making way too much of this. All the other little girls should not be made to accept this one child's issues. They are too young.

3. I worked in a school and at this age-they can't always adjust their own clothing and some innocent thing could result in an "incident".

4. IMO this one child should use the other bathroom. Really not discrimination-just being proactive about the future.










Mystres
by Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 4:03 PM

THIS


Quoting heavenV:

Sigh. I think if you were born a male you should use male restrooms until you have the procedure done. Vice versa.



~~~~~~~
Find out about our adoption at our Facebook blog.
http://www.facebook.com/MJAdoptionBlog

In 2011 we decided to adopt.
In 2012 we got to take home our Lady Bug
February 28, 2013 Our Adoption is Officially Finalized.

tscritch
by Silver Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 4:07 PM

 

Quoting Mystres:

THIS

 

Quoting heavenV:

Sigh. I think if you were born a male you should use male restrooms until you have the procedure done. Vice versa.

 

 

 Completely off topic....Congratulations that the adoption is finalized!!! (read your siggy)

mommyredlove
by Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 4:25 PM
Exactly tscritch. Great minds think alike ;)


Quoting tscritch:

 If the other girls know and think of her as a girl, why would this make them uncomfortable unless their parents tell them to be?


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 


 


Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.



Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?


 


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