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Transgender Fountain 1st grader banned from girls bathroom, discrimination claim filed

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 Since transgender seems to be the hot topic.....

http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_22674172/transgender-fountain-1st-grader-banned-from-girls-bathroom?utm_medium=facebook

Transgender Fountain 1st grader banned from girls bathroom, discrimination claim filed

Posted: 02/26/2013 05:25:40 PM MST
February 27, 2013 1:2 AM GMTUpdated: 02/26/2013 06:02:32 PM MST
By Colleen O'Connor
The Denver Post
denverpost.com


 

 

6-year-old Coy Mathis (Photo provided by Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund)

The parents of a transgender 6-year-old have filed a complaint with the Colorado Civil Rights Division because Eagleside Elementary School in Fountain has banned the 1st grader from using the girl's bathroom.

The child, Coy Mathis, was born male but identifies as female. She has attended the school since December 2011.

"This is significant for both Colorado, and nationally," said Michael Silverman, executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund, who is representing the family. "For Colorado, it is the first test of the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act as related to access to bathrooms by transgender students.

"On a national level, as we see more and more transgender people coming out at younger and younger ages, people will be watching what happens in Colorado."

In November, a Maine state court ruled that a school district did not violate a transgender student's rights under the Maine Human Rights Act when it prohibited her from using the girls' restroom.

Transgender identity is a relatively new issue in the nation and so there is little uniformity among school district policies. Some in Colorado, including Boulder Valley Schools, have already crafted detailed policies citing the state Anti-Discrimination Act. Others have not.

Boulder's four-page set of guidelines specifically addresses restroom accessibility, stating that "students shall have access to the restroom that corresponds to their gender identity consistently asserted at school."

The policy was developed about five years ago because "the district has long been committed to the inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity," said district spokesman Briggs Gamblin.

Every two years, the district participates Boulder County's Youth Risk Behavior Survey, which "consistently has found one of the high-risk groups for teen suicide are GLBT or questioning. It's critically important that these students feel included - part of the community, not separated from it," Gamblin said.

Coy Mathis wears girls' clothing and students and staff used the female pronouns when referring to her. But Fountain-Fort Carson School District 8 administrators decided over winter break that the child should use the boys bathroom, or the staff restroom or one in the school nurse's office.

That decision took into account "not only Coy, but other students in the building, their parents, and the future impact a boy, with male genitals, using a girls' bathroom would have as Coy grew older," said Wm. Kelly Dude, a lawyer representing the school district wrote in a Dec. 28 letter to Silverman.

Dude argued that the district is in compliance with the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act because "Coy attends class as all other students, is permitted to wear girls' clothes, and is referred to as the parents have requested," and was allowed access to single-user restrooms used by employees or gender-neutral restrooms in the school's health room.

Coy's parents, Kathryn and Jeremy Mathis, took her out of school. She is being homeschooled until the issue is resolved.

The family will appear at a press conference at 11 a.m. Wednesday on the west steps of the State Capitol to announce the filing of the complaint.

"It's important for us to talk about this, because a lot of people have been so afraid to be their true selves for so long," Kathryn Mathis said. "They've know from very young children who they are, but were afraid to tell. We want to help create a society where it's OK to be who you are."

She said that as soon as Coy began to talk, she insisted that she was a girl, not a boy.

As parents, they were sad and upset when they heard that Coy could no longer use the girls bathroom at school, Kathryn Mathis said.

"This automatically singles her out and stigmatizes her," she said. "It sets her up for future harassing and bullying, and creates an unsafe environment. The school has a wonderful opportunity to teach students that differences are OK, and we should embrace their differences, instead of teaching them to discriminate against someone who is a little different."

 

 Thoughts?

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 8:18 PM
Replies (421-430):
mommyredlove
by Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 5:27 PM
2 moms liked this
I completely agree. I think it is important to teach our kids that everyone is different and that is OK. That just because Coy has a penis doesn't mean that she is not a girl.

I don't know how anyone could think that her parents influenced her to be a girl. That is just ridiculous. What parent would push this on a child?

I feel like some parents are pushing their own ignorance and prejudice onto their children. For those of you so concerned about the other girls being uncomfortable....children that age wouldn't know to be uncomfortable. They might be curious or confused. But that is when parents need to educate their child.

These kind of situations lead to bullying and school shootings and increased youth suicide. Kids learn from their parents. If they are taught that there is something wrong with kids like Coy and that they should be uncomfortable around her and that she shouldn't be in the girls bathroom...well that breeds bullying. Teach them acceptance now before its too late



Quoting tscritch:

You HONESTLY think that if all the students think she is a girl, that is what they know her to be, would be more confused by her using the girls room then a "girl" going into the boys room? Don't you think that would raise way more questions than if she uses the girls room?  


I have a 6yo in school, she has never once come home and told me that she has seen any other child's vagina (or penis) at any time while using the restroom (or any time at all). She goes into the stall, does her business, goes back to class.


I am going to make an assumption that this is what Coy and all the other children in her school do as well.


I would be more worried about the fact that any child is showing other children their privates than I would about what their privates looked like.


IF she were to see a girl in the restroom that had a penis I don't think she would really care at all. She may bring it up to me and *gasp* I would use it as a wonderful opportunity to explain to her that people are different and explain to her (at her level) why that child had a penis. Heck I might even contact the  child's parents to see if I could learn more from them a good way to help my child learn and understand!! Crazy I know!!!


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 Why would I use the men's bathroom if I'm not a man? 


Probable less confused then if they innocently noticed Coy has a penis. 


 


Quoting tscritch:


Because Coy lives as a girl. Do you use the mens bathroom?


 Do you think the students who see and know Coy as a girl in all ways would be more confused by her going into the boys or girls bathroom?


 


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 If Coy has a penis why would using the boys bathroom make him uncomfortable, unless the parents have influenced him to be? 


 


Quoting tscritch:


 If the other girls know and think of her as a girl, why would this make them uncomfortable unless their parents tell them to be?


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 


 


Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.



Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Redwall
by Silver Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 7:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I think if you're "technically" a boy, you use the boy's restroom.  I do believe this child has a penis, right?  I'd not want that in my daughter's bathroom.

 

 

Myke
by Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:13 AM
1 mom liked this

How the hell is a 6 year old considered transgender? Was there early onset puberty?  How can a prepubestent child be categorised as such?  Sounds like adults are telling this child what or who they are.  This is just plain rediculous!!!

gsdogsrule
by Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:59 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow. Why do people speak about things they obviously know nothing about? Bless the parents of this child. And please, open the minds and hearts of those in power to do the right thing. Judge not, ladies.

MommaGreenhalge
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 3:14 AM
3 moms liked this
You know, my oldest used to say he was a girl when he was two. I guess instead of teaching him that he is in fact a boy and making sure he knew the difference, I've set him up for a life of confusion. You know, God forbid kids learn to love themselves as they are.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tscritch
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:49 AM

winkYes they do!  

Quoting mommyredlove:

Exactly tscritch. Great minds think alike ;)


Quoting tscritch:

 If the other girls know and think of her as a girl, why would this make them uncomfortable unless their parents tell them to be?


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 


 


Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.



Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?


 


 

PamR
by Pam on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:51 AM



Quoting tscritch:

 Don't girls bathrooms have stalls in them anymore? No one would see her using the bathroom. If everyone there refers to her as a "her" then wouldn't it be even more confusing if she used the boy bathroom?

 

Of course this child can use the restroom privately, in a stall.  I doubt she is going to be waving her private parts around in front of the other children. 


12hellokitty
by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:29 AM

Are you kidding?  This type of thinking is on line with teaching CREATIONISM.


Quoting mommyredlove:

I completely agree. I think it is important to teach our kids that everyone is different and that is OK. That just because Coy has a penis doesn't mean that she is not a girl.

I don't know how anyone could think that her parents influenced her to be a girl. That is just ridiculous. What parent would push this on a child?

I feel like some parents are pushing their own ignorance and prejudice onto their children. For those of you so concerned about the other girls being uncomfortable....children that age wouldn't know to be uncomfortable. They might be curious or confused. But that is when parents need to educate their child.

These kind of situations lead to bullying and school shootings and increased youth suicide. Kids learn from their parents. If they are taught that there is something wrong with kids like Coy and that they should be uncomfortable around her and that she shouldn't be in the girls bathroom...well that breeds bullying. Teach them acceptance now before its too late



Quoting tscritch:

You HONESTLY think that if all the students think she is a girl, that is what they know her to be, would be more confused by her using the girls room then a "girl" going into the boys room? Don't you think that would raise way more questions than if she uses the girls room?  


I have a 6yo in school, she has never once come home and told me that she has seen any other child's vagina (or penis) at any time while using the restroom (or any time at all). She goes into the stall, does her business, goes back to class.


I am going to make an assumption that this is what Coy and all the other children in her school do as well.


I would be more worried about the fact that any child is showing other children their privates than I would about what their privates looked like.


IF she were to see a girl in the restroom that had a penis I don't think she would really care at all. She may bring it up to me and *gasp* I would use it as a wonderful opportunity to explain to her that people are different and explain to her (at her level) why that child had a penis. Heck I might even contact the  child's parents to see if I could learn more from them a good way to help my child learn and understand!! Crazy I know!!!


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 Why would I use the men's bathroom if I'm not a man? 


Probable less confused then if they innocently noticed Coy has a penis. 


 


Quoting tscritch:


Because Coy lives as a girl. Do you use the mens bathroom?


 Do you think the students who see and know Coy as a girl in all ways would be more confused by her going into the boys or girls bathroom?


 


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 If Coy has a penis why would using the boys bathroom make him uncomfortable, unless the parents have influenced him to be? 


 


Quoting tscritch:


 If the other girls know and think of her as a girl, why would this make them uncomfortable unless their parents tell them to be?


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 


 


Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.



Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?


 


 


 


 


 


 


 



 

tscritch
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:43 AM

 I don't know of any kids, that age especially, that do!

I wonder if people think because she is transgendered that automatically makes her some sort of sexual deviant that doesn't know right from wrong.

Quoting PamR:

 

 

Quoting tscritch:

 Don't girls bathrooms have stalls in them anymore? No one would see her using the bathroom. If everyone there refers to her as a "her" then wouldn't it be even more confusing if she used the boy bathroom?

 

Of course this child can use the restroom privately, in a stall.  I doubt she is going to be waving her private parts around in front of the other children. 

 

 

tscritch
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:44 AM

 How so?

Quoting 12hellokitty:

Are you kidding?  This type of thinking is on line with teaching CREATIONISM.

 

Quoting mommyredlove:

I completely agree. I think it is important to teach our kids that everyone is different and that is OK. That just because Coy has a penis doesn't mean that she is not a girl.

I don't know how anyone could think that her parents influenced her to be a girl. That is just ridiculous. What parent would push this on a child?

I feel like some parents are pushing their own ignorance and prejudice onto their children. For those of you so concerned about the other girls being uncomfortable....children that age wouldn't know to be uncomfortable. They might be curious or confused. But that is when parents need to educate their child.

These kind of situations lead to bullying and school shootings and increased youth suicide. Kids learn from their parents. If they are taught that there is something wrong with kids like Coy and that they should be uncomfortable around her and that she shouldn't be in the girls bathroom...well that breeds bullying. Teach them acceptance now before its too late



Quoting tscritch:

You HONESTLY think that if all the students think she is a girl, that is what they know her to be, would be more confused by her using the girls room then a "girl" going into the boys room? Don't you think that would raise way more questions than if she uses the girls room?  


I have a 6yo in school, she has never once come home and told me that she has seen any other child's vagina (or penis) at any time while using the restroom (or any time at all). She goes into the stall, does her business, goes back to class.


I am going to make an assumption that this is what Coy and all the other children in her school do as well.


I would be more worried about the fact that any child is showing other children their privates than I would about what their privates looked like.


IF she were to see a girl in the restroom that had a penis I don't think she would really care at all. She may bring it up to me and *gasp* I would use it as a wonderful opportunity to explain to her that people are different and explain to her (at her level) why that child had a penis. Heck I might even contact the  child's parents to see if I could learn more from them a good way to help my child learn and understand!! Crazy I know!!!


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 Why would I use the men's bathroom if I'm not a man? 


Probable less confused then if they innocently noticed Coy has a penis. 


 


Quoting tscritch:


Because Coy lives as a girl. Do you use the mens bathroom?


 Do you think the students who see and know Coy as a girl in all ways would be more confused by her going into the boys or girls bathroom?


 


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 If Coy has a penis why would using the boys bathroom make him uncomfortable, unless the parents have influenced him to be? 


 


Quoting tscritch:


 If the other girls know and think of her as a girl, why would this make them uncomfortable unless their parents tell them to be?


Quoting 12hellokitty:


 If Coy is uncomfortable using the boys bathroom why would anyone think the solution would be to allow Coy to use the girls bathroom resulting in multiple girls being uncomfortable? 


 


Quoting mommyredlove:

That makes no sense. I said making Coy be the only one to use a private bathroom is segregation. I never said he should just use the boys bathroom. Coy identifies as a girl so making her use the boys is disrespecting and dismissing her identity. I think that matters a lot.



Quoting 12hellokitty:

So going by what you wrote why does Coy need to use the girls bathroom? Why dont Coys parents just teach their child it doesnt matter for him to use the boys room?


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

 

 

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