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I pay my son to brush his teeth Edit in black

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Brushing teeth, changing clothes, showering, making healthy choices, doing chores, all of these were battles that me and ds fought on a daily basis.

I'm stressed out, he's stressed out, I don't know what to do. The a light bulb went off!lightbulbHe loves money. *Think Mr Crabs* So we started giving him a point on a chart every time he does the above. Each point is worth 2 cents. Like magic my son is now changing his underwear without being asked and brushing this teeth twice a day. It is sooo worth the 10 cents a day,lol.

Forgot to add something important. My son is 8 and has SPD Sensory Processing Disorder. He finds a lot of things we don't notice VERY uncomfortable. The feel of a tooth brush in his mouth, new washed clothes on his body, the textures of many, many foods, and so many other things. Money is something he enjoys so it helps motivate him to do things he finds unpleasant.

by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:58 PM
Replies (11-20):
mehamil1
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:12 PM

You are rewarding your child for doing something he should be doing in the first place. You should not reward a child for doing something they should already be doing. 

It's an uphill battle to get these kids to take care of themselves. You have to do it over and over and over again. I get that it's frustrating but hey, that's life. My son is nine and still gives me a hard time about all of that and more but I still make him do it, fight or no fight. Eventually it becomes a habit they fall into. Or not. Hopefully by then he'll be out of your house and stinking up his own. 

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:13 PM

Oh I have my limits. Besides, the girls also work for rewards. Example, extra computer time, later bedtime on the weekends, free pass for chores. My 6yo dd earns candy and extra park time too. We all work for something :-)

Quoting TranquilMind:

Well, it is now.  But later, you don't want him agreeing to shovel the walk only if you buy him an iPad.  Or emptying the dishwasher only if you take him to the store for his latest video game. 

We all work here because we all live here.  So while that's a great way to get him going, give some thought to your end game. 


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paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:13 PM

My son is not a typical child.

Quoting talia-mom:

My kids change their underwear and brush teeth without being paid. I find that sad. He is going to play that into so much more later.


Quoting paganbaby:

I don't think so. I was just sharing a triumph :-)

Quoting talia-mom:

How sad a life that is.




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lga1965
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:14 PM
3 moms liked this

 

Quoting turtle68:

meh...its not a battle when you are consistant. IMO washing hands after the toilet, brushing teeth, showering and changing clothes..gets done once you do so yourself and ensure they do it, every time it is needed.

Kids do what the parents do.

My kids do chores when I tell them to...the consequences of not doing them when asked is too high for them :-) Fortunately for them...its only once a week or a small chore daily. They get money for extra jobs such as cleaning the car or cleaning out the kitchen cupboards.

I dont give money for something I expect of them.

 I don't either but who are we to criticize her ? Nobody is perfect. Nobody has all THE right answers to parenting.

eema.gray
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:15 PM
2 moms liked this
I think bribery and/or payments are legitimate means to motivate a child until the develop the habits and discipline to do it without external motivation. Internal motivation takes much longer to develop. We don't see high school kids needing point charts to track behavior and doing one's homework even of those were staples in their grade school classrooms.
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paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:15 PM
1 mom liked this

It is, yes.

For him doing a lot of these things are very uncomfortable. Feel of the tooth brush in his mouth, new clothes on his body, ect. So this kinda helps give him the extra incentive.

Quoting Debmomto2girls:

I am sorry if I am wrong but is this the child with problems?


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Mom2KIL
by Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:17 PM
Well, for someone who has to buy their kids Christmas candy for their stocking with their foodstamps or sends their daughter to church for a break (these were some of your previous post) it doesn't surprise me that this would be your parenting style. I'm sure it will work out great! *eyeroll*
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ambcortez
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:17 PM

You said he was changing his underwear without being asked and I was wondering if he changes them daily without taking a bath or does he change them after a bath. I've noticed that a lot of moms have their kids change their underwear without taking a bath first and that's just weird to me, personally.

Quoting paganbaby:

Huh?

Quoting ambcortez:

Changing underwear after or without taking a bath? 



paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm rewarding him because it helps.

Quoting mehamil1:

You are rewarding your child for doing something he should be doing in the first place. You should not reward a child for doing something they should already be doing. 

It's an uphill battle to get these kids to take care of themselves. You have to do it over and over and over again. I get that it's frustrating but hey, that's life. My son is nine and still gives me a hard time about all of that and more but I still make him do it, fight or no fight. Eventually it becomes a habit they fall into. Or not. Hopefully by then he'll be out of your house and stinking up his own. 


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:18 PM
1 mom liked this
That is what I thought. It's not something I would normally do but I wouldn't judge someone who has to deal with these issues to do what works. Good luck:)

Quoting paganbaby:

It is, yes.

For him doing a lot of these things are very uncomfortable. Feel of the tooth brush in his mouth, new clothes on his body, ect. So this kinda helps give him the extra incentive.

Quoting Debmomto2girls:

I am sorry if I am wrong but is this the child with problems?


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