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I pay my son to brush his teeth Edit in black

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Brushing teeth, changing clothes, showering, making healthy choices, doing chores, all of these were battles that me and ds fought on a daily basis.

I'm stressed out, he's stressed out, I don't know what to do. The a light bulb went off!lightbulbHe loves money. *Think Mr Crabs* So we started giving him a point on a chart every time he does the above. Each point is worth 2 cents. Like magic my son is now changing his underwear without being asked and brushing this teeth twice a day. It is sooo worth the 10 cents a day,lol.

Forgot to add something important. My son is 8 and has SPD Sensory Processing Disorder. He finds a lot of things we don't notice VERY uncomfortable. The feel of a tooth brush in his mouth, new washed clothes on his body, the textures of many, many foods, and so many other things. Money is something he enjoys so it helps motivate him to do things he finds unpleasant.

by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:58 PM
Replies (41-50):
paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:35 PM


Quoting turtle68:

 

Quoting paganbaby:


Quoting turtle68:

 

Quoting lga1965:

 

Quoting turtle68:

meh...its not a battle when you are consistant. IMO washing hands after the toilet, brushing teeth, showering and changing clothes..gets done once you do so yourself and ensure they do it, every time it is needed.

Kids do what the parents do.

My kids do chores when I tell them to...the consequences of not doing them when asked is too high for them :-) Fortunately for them...its only once a week or a small chore daily. They get money for extra jobs such as cleaning the car or cleaning out the kitchen cupboards.

I dont give money for something I expect of them.

 I don't either but who are we to criticize her ? Nobody is perfect. Nobody has all THE right answers to parenting.

 didnt think I was criticizing her :-)  Judging...yes.  I think its lazy parenting when you have to pay your kid to be hygenic.

Lazy would him not bathing or brushing his teeth at all. I like to think of my parenting as involved and thinking outside the box.

 LOL...ok

You can disagree. It's cool ;-)

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:37 PM

Were you the same at 10 as you were at 20?

Quoting talia-mom:

You pay him to brush his teeth and change his underwear.   If you really think he is going to change, I have some ocean front property in Kansas for sale.


Quoting paganbaby:

Hopefully I won't need to down the road. He's only 8 now. I'm sure he'll be different at 16 :-)

Quoting mehamil1:

For now. It won't down the road. You don't reward kids for doing stuff they should already be doing in the first place. 

Quoting paganbaby:

I'm rewarding him because it helps.

Quoting mehamil1:

You are rewarding your child for doing something he should be doing in the first place. You should not reward a child for doing something they should already be doing. 

It's an uphill battle to get these kids to take care of themselves. You have to do it over and over and over again. I get that it's frustrating but hey, that's life. My son is nine and still gives me a hard time about all of that and more but I still make him do it, fight or no fight. Eventually it becomes a habit they fall into. Or not. Hopefully by then he'll be out of your house and stinking up his own. 





Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:38 PM

Seriously?

Quoting Paperfishies:

Cool. My 9 year old can earn up to $65 a week doing chores.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:39 PM

((Hugs)) to him. That is awesome that your dd is his friend. We're still working on ds getting some friends. It's a long road...

Quoting december911:

I think whatever works for you. My friends son has SPD and at times, just holding his hand sets him off screaming. The only real friend he has is my daughter. Everything he does is seen as extreme by others. for some reason, my youngest dd is the only one he is gentle with and shows compassion and friendship for..she often goes with him to see his therapist. those that have no experience with spd don't get it...it took me a while to understand but it is what it is. at least you won't be paying for cavities later!


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

talia-mom
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:40 PM

When it came to your bribes?  Yes.

You already can't afford these kids.   You are fucked when he decides other things need to be provided in order for him to actually do stuff that kids can do.


Quoting paganbaby:

Were you the same at 10 as you were at 20?

Quoting talia-mom:

You pay him to brush his teeth and change his underwear.   If you really think he is going to change, I have some ocean front property in Kansas for sale.


Quoting paganbaby:

Hopefully I won't need to down the road. He's only 8 now. I'm sure he'll be different at 16 :-)

Quoting mehamil1:

For now. It won't down the road. You don't reward kids for doing stuff they should already be doing in the first place. 

Quoting paganbaby:

I'm rewarding him because it helps.

Quoting mehamil1:

You are rewarding your child for doing something he should be doing in the first place. You should not reward a child for doing something they should already be doing. 

It's an uphill battle to get these kids to take care of themselves. You have to do it over and over and over again. I get that it's frustrating but hey, that's life. My son is nine and still gives me a hard time about all of that and more but I still make him do it, fight or no fight. Eventually it becomes a habit they fall into. Or not. Hopefully by then he'll be out of your house and stinking up his own. 







paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:42 PM

He doesn't get paid because he doesn't feel like doing it. It's physically uncomfortable for him. Loose change helps. And if a quarter helps him when he's 20, then so be it.

Quoting talia-mom:

When it came to your bribes?  Yes.

You already can't afford these kids.   You are fucked when he decides other things need to be provided in order for him to actually do stuff that kids can do.


Quoting paganbaby:

Were you the same at 10 as you were at 20?

Quoting talia-mom:

You pay him to brush his teeth and change his underwear.   If you really think he is going to change, I have some ocean front property in Kansas for sale.


Quoting paganbaby:

Hopefully I won't need to down the road. He's only 8 now. I'm sure he'll be different at 16 :-)

Quoting mehamil1:

For now. It won't down the road. You don't reward kids for doing stuff they should already be doing in the first place. 

Quoting paganbaby:

I'm rewarding him because it helps.

Quoting mehamil1:

You are rewarding your child for doing something he should be doing in the first place. You should not reward a child for doing something they should already be doing. 

It's an uphill battle to get these kids to take care of themselves. You have to do it over and over and over again. I get that it's frustrating but hey, that's life. My son is nine and still gives me a hard time about all of that and more but I still make him do it, fight or no fight. Eventually it becomes a habit they fall into. Or not. Hopefully by then he'll be out of your house and stinking up his own. 








Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

talia-mom
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:46 PM

So when he tells you he isn't doing it unless you give 5 or 10 dollars you are just going to give in?

Or you think he will then do it without the bribe?


You are just sending this kid into a world where he is going to be screwed if mommy isn't teaching him and paying him to wipe his ass.


Quoting paganbaby:

He doesn't get paid because he doesn't feel like doing it. It's physically uncomfortable for him. Loose change helps. And if a quarter helps him when he's 20, then so be it.

Quoting talia-mom:

When it came to your bribes?  Yes.

You already can't afford these kids.   You are fucked when he decides other things need to be provided in order for him to actually do stuff that kids can do.


Quoting paganbaby:

Were you the same at 10 as you were at 20?

Quoting talia-mom:

You pay him to brush his teeth and change his underwear.   If you really think he is going to change, I have some ocean front property in Kansas for sale.


Quoting paganbaby:

Hopefully I won't need to down the road. He's only 8 now. I'm sure he'll be different at 16 :-)

Quoting mehamil1:

For now. It won't down the road. You don't reward kids for doing stuff they should already be doing in the first place. 

Quoting paganbaby:

I'm rewarding him because it helps.

Quoting mehamil1:

You are rewarding your child for doing something he should be doing in the first place. You should not reward a child for doing something they should already be doing. 

It's an uphill battle to get these kids to take care of themselves. You have to do it over and over and over again. I get that it's frustrating but hey, that's life. My son is nine and still gives me a hard time about all of that and more but I still make him do it, fight or no fight. Eventually it becomes a habit they fall into. Or not. Hopefully by then he'll be out of your house and stinking up his own. 










Paperfishies
by Silver Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:03 PM
Yup. Her chore chart is on my blog.
Basically each chore has a dollar amount attached to it.
Every week I highlight the things that she HAS to do and everything else in there is optional, so if there is something she is saving up for she can see that the harder she works, her hard work will pay off for her in the end.
I also pay her to watch her 3 year old sister while clean, take a shower, make dinner etc.


Quoting paganbaby:

Seriously?

Quoting Paperfishies:

Cool. My 9 year old can earn up to $65 a week doing chores.



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Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:09 PM
You are nasty.

Quoting talia-mom:

When it came to your bribes?  Yes.

You already can't afford these kids.   You are fucked when he decides other things need to be provided in order for him to actually do stuff that kids can do.



Quoting paganbaby:

Were you the same at 10 as you were at 20?

Quoting talia-mom:

You pay him to brush his teeth and change his underwear.   If you really think he is going to change, I have some ocean front property in Kansas for sale.



Quoting paganbaby:

Hopefully I won't need to down the road. He's only 8 now. I'm sure he'll be different at 16 :-)

Quoting mehamil1:

For now. It won't down the road. You don't reward kids for doing stuff they should already be doing in the first place. 


Quoting paganbaby:

I'm rewarding him because it helps.

Quoting mehamil1:

You are rewarding your child for doing something he should be doing in the first place. You should not reward a child for doing something they should already be doing. 

It's an uphill battle to get these kids to take care of themselves. You have to do it over and over and over again. I get that it's frustrating but hey, that's life. My son is nine and still gives me a hard time about all of that and more but I still make him do it, fight or no fight. Eventually it becomes a habit they fall into. Or not. Hopefully by then he'll be out of your house and stinking up his own. 









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Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 8:10 PM
1 mom liked this
Did you notice the part that her son has
Problems.. And really isn't it "none of your business"??


Quoting talia-mom:

So when he tells you he isn't doing it unless you give 5 or 10 dollars you are just going to give in?

Or you think he will then do it without the bribe?


You are just sending this kid into a world where he is going to be screwed if mommy isn't teaching him and paying him to wipe his ass.



Quoting paganbaby:

He doesn't get paid because he doesn't feel like doing it. It's physically uncomfortable for him. Loose change helps. And if a quarter helps him when he's 20, then so be it.

Quoting talia-mom:

When it came to your bribes?  Yes.

You already can't afford these kids.   You are fucked when he decides other things need to be provided in order for him to actually do stuff that kids can do.



Quoting paganbaby:

Were you the same at 10 as you were at 20?

Quoting talia-mom:

You pay him to brush his teeth and change his underwear.   If you really think he is going to change, I have some ocean front property in Kansas for sale.



Quoting paganbaby:

Hopefully I won't need to down the road. He's only 8 now. I'm sure he'll be different at 16 :-)

Quoting mehamil1:

For now. It won't down the road. You don't reward kids for doing stuff they should already be doing in the first place. 


Quoting paganbaby:

I'm rewarding him because it helps.

Quoting mehamil1:

You are rewarding your child for doing something he should be doing in the first place. You should not reward a child for doing something they should already be doing. 

It's an uphill battle to get these kids to take care of themselves. You have to do it over and over and over again. I get that it's frustrating but hey, that's life. My son is nine and still gives me a hard time about all of that and more but I still make him do it, fight or no fight. Eventually it becomes a habit they fall into. Or not. Hopefully by then he'll be out of your house and stinking up his own. 













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