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Two Abortion Protesters Decided To Yell At This Guy's Wife. They Probably Shouldn't Have Done That.

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Aaron Gouveia and his wife were already having the worst day of their lives. Then came the abortion protesters.


“You’re killing your unborn baby!”

That’s what they yelled at me and my wife on the worst day of our lives. As we entered the women’s health center on an otherwise perfect summer morning in Brookline, two women we had never met decided to pile onto the nightmare we had been living for three weeks. These “Christians” verbally accosted us—judged us—as we steeled ourselves for the horror of making the unimaginable, but necessary, decision to end our pregnancy at 16 weeks.

After extensive testing at a renowned Boston hospital three weeks earlier, we were told our baby had Sirenomelia. Otherwise known as Mermaid Syndrome, it’s a rare (one in every 100,000 pregnancies) congenital deformity in which the legs are fused together. Worse than that, our baby had no bladder or kidneys. Our doctors told us there was zero chance for survival.

♦♦♦

I’m not a religious person and I’ve never believed in heaven or hell. But there is a hell on Earth. Hell is sitting next to the person you love most and listening to her wail hysterically because her heart just broke into a million pieces. Hell is watching her entire body convulse with sobs because she’s being tortured with grief. For as long as I live and no matter how many children we have, I will never forget that sound. And I vowed to do everything in my power to make sure she’d never make it again.

Across a crowded street, two people with “God Is Pro-Life!” signs and pictures of torn-up fetuses managed to drive the blade in even deeper. Again, I was left trying to console the inconsolable, feeling even more helpless this time, because I wasn’t allowed into surgery with her.

Running on pure adrenaline, and without even a hint of a plan, I grabbed my cell phone and crossed the street. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, I just knew I wanted to make public the cowardice of these protesters.

♦♦♦

♦♦♦

I learned a few important things from this encounter. First, these people aren’t used to being confronted. They prey on the weak and they pounce on the wounded. It’s easy to berate people and shame them when they’re too beaten down to fight back. But I chose to do just that, and you can see what happened.

They spout the same tired rhetoric passed out at rallies and subway stations. They don’t have one salient response to any of my questions.

The most telling thing about their cowardice is when the woman on the right gets upset that I’m recording the conversation (which is perfectly legal) and then threatens to call the police. The irony is rich. She wanted to call the police because I was peacefully expressing my opinion on a public sidewalk and exercising my First Amendment rights, which is exactly what she was doing. But I’m not on “God’s side,” am I.

She also claims the women at the clinic are suicide risks. Even if she believed that were true, does she really think yelling at them and shaming them in public is going to encourage these women not to kill themselves?

♦♦♦

After I took a walk and calmed down, it was time to pick up my wife and go home. When we pulled out of the clinic, the protesters were gone, and a police cruiser was parked nearby with the lights flashing. My wife, still groggy from the surgery, managed to crack a little smile, and asked, “What did you do?”

I have no idea if it was my interaction with the protesters that got them to leave. I doubt it was, but my wife was convinced that was the case. At first, I didn’t think of it as a big deal, and I actually felt a little foolish for getting so heated.

My wife, suddenly serious, pointed out a women entering the clinic. Within minutes, she said, that woman would be making a serious choice. Whether she kept her baby or not, it didn’t matter—what matters is that she can make the decision that’s right for her. And she can make it without people screaming at her.

My wife and I wanted our second child. We loved her. We even had a name for her, Alexandra.

You never know the circumstances surrounding this kind of decision. Consider this my plea: stop terrorizing women. Stop adding trauma to their trauma. If you’re able, stand up to these bullies in nonviolent ways. Speak out. And if you have a camera, use it.

Neon Washable Paint

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 6:08 PM
Replies (131-140):
Momniscient
by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:58 PM
3 moms liked this
No. He was a grieving man who had his say in the face of assholes.



Quoting soonergirl980:

Protesting happens all thr time for  a variety of reasons many of which are stupid like the OP. Getting riled up about isn't going to change anything allowing yourself to be pulled in like he did only adds fuel to the fire.



Quoting LntLckrsCmQut:

My point is, is that regardless if someone knew why a woman was having an abortion, calling her a murderer, etc is ridiculous and people should mind their own business, as far as abortions are concerned. It's one thing to discuss these sort of things on the interwebz and forums but it's another when you start crossing the line by calling someone a murderer and preaching to them about their choice.

Quoting soonergirl980:

Then why post at all or be on this forum at all? This is forum is for commenting on the things posted.



Quoting LntLckrsCmQut:

Even if one does know the story, their mouth should stay shut.

Quoting delilahsmom1177:

That is so sad. You don't know the story so you should keep your mouth shut. I remember a friend of mine had an abortion because she was carrying unviable twins. She was beside herself with grief... I tried my best to comfort her. Telling her that they will be with their uncle(her brother pased a year before) She went with a friend of ours who happened to be pregnant at the time. They were approuched and my pregnant friend asked why she condoned her friend "killing" her baby. Our friend looked this older woman in the face and said because my baby will be born healthy. Her's will not if they are born they will face a horribly painful life and ultimate death, this was after ou friend went inside of course. It took such guts to say but she did and when they left the old woman handed my friend who just had the abortion a rosary and said "god loves you and will welcome your babies with open arms for you to see one day..." I thought it was amazing!









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chloedee
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:59 PM
The cases of those who do survive birth are children born with no kidney or bladder issues. Given that their baby didn't even have either, that seems to negate survival.


Quoting soonergirl980:


Actually there are kids with Mermaid Symdrome that DO survivie birth it's rare but it does it happen, but you apparently don't actually care about that. You think just because a kid "might" die and will be disable that it doesn't have a right to a chance, but I'm the cruel one. Ok.


Quoting HeathersForever:

This was not a "maybe" situation, this was DEFINITE.

The child had mermaid syndrome. It's legs were fused together, it had no bladder or kidneys. They saw several Drs to confirm this.

I guess you couldn't be bothered reading all that information, probably above your 8th grade education.

Quoting soonergirl980:


My Aunt was told the same thing and yet my cousin lived 13 long precious years.The child was still alive when she went in there and it was not when she came out. We do not KNOW what would have happened because they decided to kill their kid.


Obviously they need someones sympathy because otherwise he would have gone about his life and not written this.


Quoting HeathersForever:

Are you fucking KIDDING ME? The fetus had ZERO chance at life. ZERO.

 ZERO, as in when the child was born it would pass. So it is best to let her be a living coffin for a stillborn.

They don't need YOUR sympathy, trust me. You sound like one of those lowest common demoninator types. Enjoy breathing that air you waste.

Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.










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CountryMomma123
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 12:16 AM
1 mom liked this

She also didn't have kidneys or a bladder. Name one person you know or have ever heard of that was born with out kidneys and lived to tell their story. You haven't because that would never happen. Get really. They baby would have died soon after being born and that is no way for a baby to start out their life. Have a heart. 

Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.


mikesmom65270
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 12:19 AM
1 mom liked this

Good for him!  People like these socalled Christians are nothing more than bullies and give God a bad name.

jllcali
by Jane on Mar. 7, 2013 at 12:35 AM
2 moms liked this
They terminated a pregnancy because the fetus had a condition incompatible with life. They didn't abort because the fetus was missing an arm or had a cleft palate. Although cleft palates can be affect the integrity of the skull in some cases. Having no kidneys or bladder is not compatible with life. Have you ever seen someone die of acute renal failure? It takes a few days for the toxins normally excreted in urine which is produced in the kidneys to build up in the body. It is a slow painful process. I can't imagine the cruelty necessary to allow a person to experience that knowing it could have been prevented.

Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.

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katzmeow726
by Platinum Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 12:41 AM
1 mom liked this
This is not a disability. It is a death sentence. What part of no survival can't make it past....oh wait, I forget, you can't get much into a closed mind.

Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.

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jllcali
by Jane on Mar. 7, 2013 at 12:47 AM
The ones that do survive are the ones that have kidneys and a bladder. They often have to have surgery to make a urethra so voiding is possible. Fetal kidneys and bladder are detectable on an ultrasound.
How long ago did your aunt have the ultrasound? US technology has become vastly more sophisticated than even 5 years ago.


Quoting soonergirl980:


Actually there are kids with Mermaid Symdrome that DO survivie birth it's rare but it does it happen, but you apparently don't actually care about that. You think just because a kid "might" die and will be disable that it doesn't have a right to a chance, but I'm the cruel one. Ok.


Quoting HeathersForever:

This was not a "maybe" situation, this was DEFINITE.

The child had mermaid syndrome. It's legs were fused together, it had no bladder or kidneys. They saw several Drs to confirm this.

I guess you couldn't be bothered reading all that information, probably above your 8th grade education.

Quoting soonergirl980:


My Aunt was told the same thing and yet my cousin lived 13 long precious years.The child was still alive when she went in there and it was not when she came out. We do not KNOW what would have happened because they decided to kill their kid.


Obviously they need someones sympathy because otherwise he would have gone about his life and not written this.


Quoting HeathersForever:

Are you fucking KIDDING ME? The fetus had ZERO chance at life. ZERO.

 ZERO, as in when the child was born it would pass. So it is best to let her be a living coffin for a stillborn.

They don't need YOUR sympathy, trust me. You sound like one of those lowest common demoninator types. Enjoy breathing that air you waste.

Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.









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katzmeow726
by Platinum Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 12:51 AM
2 moms liked this
She meant that you are so blinded by your own opinions that you missed the fact that the baby didn't have a renal system, and would be subjected to painful death, if she had been born alive, considering the lack of renal system would also impact the baby even prior to birth. I don't think you lack comprehension of this post...you actually have to see to do that. No. You just are blind and refuse to see that there might actually be a case where someone steps into that gray area. A case where you might have to set aside your militant pro life stance and actually pity someone who had to make a gut wrenching choice.

I don't know what is worse. Not feeling pity because you can't...or not feeling it because you can willingly turn it off to hate someone.

Either way, I pity you. I don't think I could live with so much hate in my heart


Quoting SandyLaxner:

 




Quoting LucyMom08:

Reading comprehension faceplanted outside of this post...


Quoting Sekirei:




Quoting SandyLaxner:


 



 



Quoting Sekirei:



and that is all those protesters are. they are bullies.



I hope the man and his wife find peace in knowing that they did what they felt was right. It isn't right to bring s being into this world where all they will know is suffering



I hate protesters.. even ones that agree with my ideals. I think it is arrogant and dangerous



How do you or I or anyone know that the "being" would suffer if carried to term?  She suffered as she was murdered.



 


Did you miss the part that the fetus was missing vital organs?? So yeah, unless you keep the baby drugged to the nines, then there will be suffering.


What does "faceplanted"mean?  I got the part,baby had no bladder or kidneys.  So,"drug her to the nines".  Who cares?    If it makes you feel superior,yes,I have no reading comprehension.  That is the usual response when some folks have opposing beliefs.  Pro-lifer checking out.


 

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joyfree
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:41 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry to hear your story... I was pregnant 12 years ago with a little boy diagnosed with Trisomy-18 Syndrome... Even now, it hurts to talk about him. After waiting for the third test result, 1) being the Level III Ultrasound, 2) the "Fish" Test, and finally 3) the amniocentesis, we had the final confirmation that the problems our son had were "incompatible with life"... Imagine being told that, after your first child nearly died due to heart arrythmia in utero and was still afflicted with a lower IQ and an autism spectrum disorder that it took 18 years for you to have the courage to try again with your new husband... My first marriage failed, and my ex has written exactly three letters to our daughter in the last 20 years. He remarried and had two perfect kids, and NEVER ONCE sent OUR daughter as much as a birthday card in the past...

Anyway, we decided to induce labor so that Patrick would be born, and we were able to say our good-byes with him. Actually SEEING him helped me to see how fragile and afflicted he actually was... It was so HARD to go through that experience, SO PAINFUL, and depressing... It took me a while to get back to myself...

The GOOD news was that we tried one more time and were blessed by God with a perfect little boy who is now 10. He loves his older sister, who still lives with us, and she loves him very much, even though they bicker like they are the same age.

So, MY opinion is that we sometimes must make very difficult and painful choices, and it's hard enough without having to walk past ignorant and opinionate people who do not have the slightest CLUE about what your situation is. For this, I am pro-choice. I would not wish the pain we went through on my worst enemy.

im sorry

Quoting happy41ce:

You don't know what you would do unless it were YOU in that situation. I am almost 16 weeks and my baby was diagnosed with Anencephaly. Google it. My baby is going to die. My son doesn't have the top of his skull or any brain activity. The amniotic fluid is eating at what bit of brain is there. This condition is fatal and most babies are born stillborn. I was going to abort but decided to carry so we can bury our baby and say goodbye. I have people saying I am selfish for carrying and people saying I should go to hell bc I thought about aborting. Bottom line- unless something like this happens to you, you do not know what you will do :/ I totally relate to this family.



BellaByrdie
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:12 AM
2 moms liked this

This is so hard for me to watch.  I had to have an abortion because pregnancy is lethal to me.  After my second and last child was born I nearly died.  I spent 7 days in the hospital after she was born 3 of those in the ICU. 

I became pregnant despite Depro shot.  It was DEVASTATING.  I would have LOVED to have had that child.  I couldn't.  When I got home a "friend" was there.  She asked me how I felt.  I said horrible and heartbroken.  She said Good you should you just commited murder. 

According to her I SHOULD have been willing to die.  I should have died rather than a fetus that would never see the world because I would never have made it to when the baby could have been viable.  She would have rather seen BOTH of us dead rather than me choose to terminate the pregnancy.  

To already be in so much emotional and physical pain and then have someone kick you while your down.   These people have NO consience.  

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