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Two Abortion Protesters Decided To Yell At This Guy's Wife. They Probably Shouldn't Have Done That.

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Aaron Gouveia and his wife were already having the worst day of their lives. Then came the abortion protesters.


“You’re killing your unborn baby!”

That’s what they yelled at me and my wife on the worst day of our lives. As we entered the women’s health center on an otherwise perfect summer morning in Brookline, two women we had never met decided to pile onto the nightmare we had been living for three weeks. These “Christians” verbally accosted us—judged us—as we steeled ourselves for the horror of making the unimaginable, but necessary, decision to end our pregnancy at 16 weeks.

After extensive testing at a renowned Boston hospital three weeks earlier, we were told our baby had Sirenomelia. Otherwise known as Mermaid Syndrome, it’s a rare (one in every 100,000 pregnancies) congenital deformity in which the legs are fused together. Worse than that, our baby had no bladder or kidneys. Our doctors told us there was zero chance for survival.

♦♦♦

I’m not a religious person and I’ve never believed in heaven or hell. But there is a hell on Earth. Hell is sitting next to the person you love most and listening to her wail hysterically because her heart just broke into a million pieces. Hell is watching her entire body convulse with sobs because she’s being tortured with grief. For as long as I live and no matter how many children we have, I will never forget that sound. And I vowed to do everything in my power to make sure she’d never make it again.

Across a crowded street, two people with “God Is Pro-Life!” signs and pictures of torn-up fetuses managed to drive the blade in even deeper. Again, I was left trying to console the inconsolable, feeling even more helpless this time, because I wasn’t allowed into surgery with her.

Running on pure adrenaline, and without even a hint of a plan, I grabbed my cell phone and crossed the street. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, I just knew I wanted to make public the cowardice of these protesters.

♦♦♦

♦♦♦

I learned a few important things from this encounter. First, these people aren’t used to being confronted. They prey on the weak and they pounce on the wounded. It’s easy to berate people and shame them when they’re too beaten down to fight back. But I chose to do just that, and you can see what happened.

They spout the same tired rhetoric passed out at rallies and subway stations. They don’t have one salient response to any of my questions.

The most telling thing about their cowardice is when the woman on the right gets upset that I’m recording the conversation (which is perfectly legal) and then threatens to call the police. The irony is rich. She wanted to call the police because I was peacefully expressing my opinion on a public sidewalk and exercising my First Amendment rights, which is exactly what she was doing. But I’m not on “God’s side,” am I.

She also claims the women at the clinic are suicide risks. Even if she believed that were true, does she really think yelling at them and shaming them in public is going to encourage these women not to kill themselves?

♦♦♦

After I took a walk and calmed down, it was time to pick up my wife and go home. When we pulled out of the clinic, the protesters were gone, and a police cruiser was parked nearby with the lights flashing. My wife, still groggy from the surgery, managed to crack a little smile, and asked, “What did you do?”

I have no idea if it was my interaction with the protesters that got them to leave. I doubt it was, but my wife was convinced that was the case. At first, I didn’t think of it as a big deal, and I actually felt a little foolish for getting so heated.

My wife, suddenly serious, pointed out a women entering the clinic. Within minutes, she said, that woman would be making a serious choice. Whether she kept her baby or not, it didn’t matter—what matters is that she can make the decision that’s right for her. And she can make it without people screaming at her.

My wife and I wanted our second child. We loved her. We even had a name for her, Alexandra.

You never know the circumstances surrounding this kind of decision. Consider this my plea: stop terrorizing women. Stop adding trauma to their trauma. If you’re able, stand up to these bullies in nonviolent ways. Speak out. And if you have a camera, use it.

Neon Washable Paint

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 6:08 PM
Replies (41-50):
Jers.
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:49 PM
2 moms liked this

Mermaid syndrone PLUS NO KIDNEYS and NO BLADDER, not just ones that were not fully developed, but NONE


Quoting soonergirl980:

Again mermaid syndrome does not mean 0% of surviving kids DO survive it's rare but it DOES happen.


Quoting Jers.:

A fetus with no chance of surviving.  If you are going to look down on someone from up there on your high horse, get your facts straight.  


Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.







ashellbell
by shellbark on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:50 PM
No one is asking for sympathy, just a basic understanding of the choices some have to make. It's not that difficult to understand that some women have to terminate much wanted pregnancies. I had a friend who had to terminate after the fetus was diagnosed with taysachs, you can't imagine the torment that came with just pondering her choices. Which is worse, watching a child die an excruciating death or terminating before it can feel pain?


Quoting soonergirl980:


I've never even met the woman so I've certainly never berated her. I just said the article does not invoke sympathy for her or him.


Quoting ashellbell:

No she didn't. She terminated a non viable fetus before it developed in to a non viable human being. Mermaid syndrome is no joke and its not a pleasant thing to watch a child SUFFER from until it eventually kills them. Yeah, your cousin lived until he was 13, but how often do you think that actually happens after a diagnosis after that. 1 in a 100? A thousand? What was your cousins quality of life? What was his diagnosis? These things aren't so black and white, well, maybe they are in your world, but they aren't in the real world. If you found out that your child was to be born with something like this and you choose to let it suffer, that's on you, but don't berate this woman for choosing a humane way out.





Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.







Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
soonergirl980
by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:51 PM


Please people judge people every day I see judgement on this very forum on nearly every.single. post. You judge me based on my opinion that a child who is disabled should not be giving a death sentence by it's parents. I lack sympathy for the CHOICE they made. They made the choice to go public with it therefore invited people into their buisness therefore people will make judgements about it. I never said she should be arrested for her decision. I never even said that choice should be taken away from her. I just said I lacked sympathy for her choice.

Quoting HeathersForever:

I think as someone who had my own niece die because my sister was told my niece had almost no chance at life, I think it is NONE of your fucking business what a parent decides. My niece was born, they performed all the operations they hoped would save her life, she had one of those syndromes that effects only 1 in 100,000 and ya know what? She had lots, and lots of surgeries and spent her first few months of life in the hospital. Then she passed suddenly anyway at 19 months old. I'm glad for the time we had with her. But that was my sister's decision, and she was told there was some chance, although it was VERY small that her child would survive and if she did more than a couple years. My sister thought she defied the odds. She is haunted by the death of her daughter. Her life was stress and absolute pain for months, and then she still lost her child. That was her decision.


So once again I think it is none of anyone's fucking business except for the parent's if they want to take on those odds. Especially since mermaid syndrome has even worse odds than my niece did. They found NO kidneys in this baby. You do realize you cannot live without kidneys right? Some children born with mermaid syndrome still have kidneys, this child did not. Even if it did, once again that is the parent's choice, and how dare you judge. DISGUSTING.

Quoting soonergirl980:


Actually there are kids with Mermaid Symdrome that DO survivie birth it's rare but it does it happen, but you apparently don't actually care about that. You think just because a kid "might" die and will be disable that it doesn't have a right to a chance, but I'm the cruel one. Ok.

Quoting HeathersForever:

This was not a "maybe" situation, this was DEFINITE.

The child had mermaid syndrome. It's legs were fused together, it had no bladder or kidneys. They saw several Drs to confirm this.

I guess you couldn't be bothered reading all that information, probably above your 8th grade education.

Quoting soonergirl980:


My Aunt was told the same thing and yet my cousin lived 13 long precious years.The child was still alive when she went in there and it was not when she came out. We do not KNOW what would have happened because they decided to kill their kid.


Obviously they need someones sympathy because otherwise he would have gone about his life and not written this.

Quoting HeathersForever:

Are you fucking KIDDING ME? The fetus had ZERO chance at life. ZERO.

 ZERO, as in when the child was born it would pass. So it is best to let her be a living coffin for a stillborn.

They don't need YOUR sympathy, trust me. You sound like one of those lowest common demoninator types. Enjoy breathing that air you waste.

Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.










hismommy2010
by Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:51 PM

 We all have our thoughts, feelings and opinions - just like we all have butt holes! (lol).

 

My thought is, what about before we had testings to see if anything was 'wrong' with the baby? We delivered them and went from there.

Sure, it would be heart breaking and devastating to know that this is going on with your un-born baby. But IMO these people were putting them selfs before their child. They were more concerned with how they felt with all of this.

The baby more then likely wouldn't live long after birth, ok - i get that. but I would much rather continue on with the pregnancy, let the baby hear my voice, feel my warmth and know that she IS loved. And I would much rather give birth to her, and hold her, let her look into my eyes, and hear my voice for what ever amount of time she had. I would rather my baby KNOW me and my love, even if it was only for 5 minutes.

I would want to just give up.

HeathersForever
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:53 PM
2 moms liked this

You are right, you just come on here and said something insensitive to show what a heartless human being you are. Continue on with your life.

Quoting soonergirl980:


Please people judge people every day I see judgement on this very forum on nearly every.single. post. You judge me based on my opinion that a child who is disabled should not be giving a death sentence by it's parents. I lack sympathy for the CHOICE they made. They made the choice to go public with it therefore invited people into their buisness therefore people will make judgements about it. I never said she should be arrested for her decision. I never even said that choice should be taken away from her. I just said I lacked sympathy for her choice.

Quoting HeathersForever:

I think as someone who had my own niece die because my sister was told my niece had almost no chance at life, I think it is NONE of your fucking business what a parent decides. My niece was born, they performed all the operations they hoped would save her life, she had one of those syndromes that effects only 1 in 100,000 and ya know what? She had lots, and lots of surgeries and spent her first few months of life in the hospital. Then she passed suddenly anyway at 19 months old. I'm glad for the time we had with her. But that was my sister's decision, and she was told there was some chance, although it was VERY small that her child would survive and if she did more than a couple years. My sister thought she defied the odds. She is haunted by the death of her daughter. Her life was stress and absolute pain for months, and then she still lost her child. That was her decision.


So once again I think it is none of anyone's fucking business except for the parent's if they want to take on those odds. Especially since mermaid syndrome has even worse odds than my niece did. They found NO kidneys in this baby. You do realize you cannot live without kidneys right? Some children born with mermaid syndrome still have kidneys, this child did not. Even if it did, once again that is the parent's choice, and how dare you judge. DISGUSTING.

Quoting soonergirl980:


Actually there are kids with Mermaid Symdrome that DO survivie birth it's rare but it does it happen, but you apparently don't actually care about that. You think just because a kid "might" die and will be disable that it doesn't have a right to a chance, but I'm the cruel one. Ok.

Quoting HeathersForever:

This was not a "maybe" situation, this was DEFINITE.

The child had mermaid syndrome. It's legs were fused together, it had no bladder or kidneys. They saw several Drs to confirm this.

I guess you couldn't be bothered reading all that information, probably above your 8th grade education.

Quoting soonergirl980:


My Aunt was told the same thing and yet my cousin lived 13 long precious years.The child was still alive when she went in there and it was not when she came out. We do not KNOW what would have happened because they decided to kill their kid.


Obviously they need someones sympathy because otherwise he would have gone about his life and not written this.

Quoting HeathersForever:

Are you fucking KIDDING ME? The fetus had ZERO chance at life. ZERO.

 ZERO, as in when the child was born it would pass. So it is best to let her be a living coffin for a stillborn.

They don't need YOUR sympathy, trust me. You sound like one of those lowest common demoninator types. Enjoy breathing that air you waste.

Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.











ashellbell
by shellbark on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:54 PM
2 moms liked this
You'd be ok with your child dying a horrible death just so it could hear your voice and you think they're selfish?


Quoting hismommy2010:

 We all have our thoughts, feelings and opinions - just like we all have butt holes! (lol).


 


My thought is, what about before we had testings to see if anything was 'wrong' with the baby? We delivered them and went from there.


Sure, it would be heart breaking and devastating to know that this is going on with your un-born baby. But IMO these people were putting them selfs before their child. They were more concerned with how they felt with all of this.


The baby more then likely wouldn't live long after birth, ok - i get that. but I would much rather continue on with the pregnancy, let the baby hear my voice, feel my warmth and know that she IS loved. And I would much rather give birth to her, and hold her, let her look into my eyes, and hear my voice for what ever amount of time she had. I would rather my baby KNOW me and my love, even if it was only for 5 minutes.


I would want to just give up.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
soonergirl980
by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:54 PM
1 mom liked this


Yep caring about disabled children yeah totally heartless.

Quoting HeathersForever:

You are right, you just come on here and said something insensitive to show what a heartless human being you are. Continue on with your life.

Quoting soonergirl980:


Please people judge people every day I see judgement on this very forum on nearly every.single. post. You judge me based on my opinion that a child who is disabled should not be giving a death sentence by it's parents. I lack sympathy for the CHOICE they made. They made the choice to go public with it therefore invited people into their buisness therefore people will make judgements about it. I never said she should be arrested for her decision. I never even said that choice should be taken away from her. I just said I lacked sympathy for her choice.

Quoting HeathersForever:

I think as someone who had my own niece die because my sister was told my niece had almost no chance at life, I think it is NONE of your fucking business what a parent decides. My niece was born, they performed all the operations they hoped would save her life, she had one of those syndromes that effects only 1 in 100,000 and ya know what? She had lots, and lots of surgeries and spent her first few months of life in the hospital. Then she passed suddenly anyway at 19 months old. I'm glad for the time we had with her. But that was my sister's decision, and she was told there was some chance, although it was VERY small that her child would survive and if she did more than a couple years. My sister thought she defied the odds. She is haunted by the death of her daughter. Her life was stress and absolute pain for months, and then she still lost her child. That was her decision.


So once again I think it is none of anyone's fucking business except for the parent's if they want to take on those odds. Especially since mermaid syndrome has even worse odds than my niece did. They found NO kidneys in this baby. You do realize you cannot live without kidneys right? Some children born with mermaid syndrome still have kidneys, this child did not. Even if it did, once again that is the parent's choice, and how dare you judge. DISGUSTING.

Quoting soonergirl980:


Actually there are kids with Mermaid Symdrome that DO survivie birth it's rare but it does it happen, but you apparently don't actually care about that. You think just because a kid "might" die and will be disable that it doesn't have a right to a chance, but I'm the cruel one. Ok.

Quoting HeathersForever:

This was not a "maybe" situation, this was DEFINITE.

The child had mermaid syndrome. It's legs were fused together, it had no bladder or kidneys. They saw several Drs to confirm this.

I guess you couldn't be bothered reading all that information, probably above your 8th grade education.

Quoting soonergirl980:


My Aunt was told the same thing and yet my cousin lived 13 long precious years.The child was still alive when she went in there and it was not when she came out. We do not KNOW what would have happened because they decided to kill their kid.


Obviously they need someones sympathy because otherwise he would have gone about his life and not written this.

Quoting HeathersForever:

Are you fucking KIDDING ME? The fetus had ZERO chance at life. ZERO.

 ZERO, as in when the child was born it would pass. So it is best to let her be a living coffin for a stillborn.

They don't need YOUR sympathy, trust me. You sound like one of those lowest common demoninator types. Enjoy breathing that air you waste.

Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.













HeathersForever
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:58 PM
2 moms liked this

Actually one could argue it is actually rather selfish to keep the pregnancy knowing it will result in a painful death. You act like the child's time on earth will be a joyful time, instead of time filled with pain and suffering before they go.

Everyone does have their own opinion, and I don't plan on having anymore children, but if I were to have another child and were in this situation I would think of sparing my child all that pain even if it meant we never got to meet. It would hurt me greatly because an abortion is something I would not normally consent to although I am pro choice for other women, but for the sake of what would be my child I would want to spare them the pain they would feel just for my own ego of knowing them for such a short while.

Quoting hismommy2010:

 We all have our thoughts, feelings and opinions - just like we all have butt holes! (lol).

 

My thought is, what about before we had testings to see if anything was 'wrong' with the baby? We delivered them and went from there.

Sure, it would be heart breaking and devastating to know that this is going on with your un-born baby. But IMO these people were putting them selfs before their child. They were more concerned with how they felt with all of this.

The baby more then likely wouldn't live long after birth, ok - i get that. but I would much rather continue on with the pregnancy, let the baby hear my voice, feel my warmth and know that she IS loved. And I would much rather give birth to her, and hold her, let her look into my eyes, and hear my voice for what ever amount of time she had. I would rather my baby KNOW me and my love, even if it was only for 5 minutes.

I would want to just give up.


ashellbell
by shellbark on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:58 PM
How is a 16 week old fetus the same as a disabled child?


Quoting soonergirl980:


Yep caring about disabled children yeah totally heartless.


Quoting HeathersForever:

You are right, you just come on here and said something insensitive to show what a heartless human being you are. Continue on with your life.

Quoting soonergirl980:


Please people judge people every day I see judgement on this very forum on nearly every.single. post. You judge me based on my opinion that a child who is disabled should not be giving a death sentence by it's parents. I lack sympathy for the CHOICE they made. They made the choice to go public with it therefore invited people into their buisness therefore people will make judgements about it. I never said she should be arrested for her decision. I never even said that choice should be taken away from her. I just said I lacked sympathy for her choice.


Quoting HeathersForever:

I think as someone who had my own niece die because my sister was told my niece had almost no chance at life, I think it is NONE of your fucking business what a parent decides. My niece was born, they performed all the operations they hoped would save her life, she had one of those syndromes that effects only 1 in 100,000 and ya know what? She had lots, and lots of surgeries and spent her first few months of life in the hospital. Then she passed suddenly anyway at 19 months old. I'm glad for the time we had with her. But that was my sister's decision, and she was told there was some chance, although it was VERY small that her child would survive and if she did more than a couple years. My sister thought she defied the odds. She is haunted by the death of her daughter. Her life was stress and absolute pain for months, and then she still lost her child. That was her decision.


So once again I think it is none of anyone's fucking business except for the parent's if they want to take on those odds. Especially since mermaid syndrome has even worse odds than my niece did. They found NO kidneys in this baby. You do realize you cannot live without kidneys right? Some children born with mermaid syndrome still have kidneys, this child did not. Even if it did, once again that is the parent's choice, and how dare you judge. DISGUSTING.

Quoting soonergirl980:


Actually there are kids with Mermaid Symdrome that DO survivie birth it's rare but it does it happen, but you apparently don't actually care about that. You think just because a kid "might" die and will be disable that it doesn't have a right to a chance, but I'm the cruel one. Ok.


Quoting HeathersForever:

This was not a "maybe" situation, this was DEFINITE.

The child had mermaid syndrome. It's legs were fused together, it had no bladder or kidneys. They saw several Drs to confirm this.

I guess you couldn't be bothered reading all that information, probably above your 8th grade education.

Quoting soonergirl980:


My Aunt was told the same thing and yet my cousin lived 13 long precious years.The child was still alive when she went in there and it was not when she came out. We do not KNOW what would have happened because they decided to kill their kid.


Obviously they need someones sympathy because otherwise he would have gone about his life and not written this.


Quoting HeathersForever:

Are you fucking KIDDING ME? The fetus had ZERO chance at life. ZERO.

 ZERO, as in when the child was born it would pass. So it is best to let her be a living coffin for a stillborn.

They don't need YOUR sympathy, trust me. You sound like one of those lowest common demoninator types. Enjoy breathing that air you waste.

Quoting soonergirl980:

She killed her physically disabled child I don't have a lot don't have a lot of sympathy for her or him.


















Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
hismommy2010
by Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:58 PM

 I'm sorry. I missed the part where being aborted is pleasant for the uborn baby... I wasn't informed that it was pain free and a party.

Quoting ashellbell:

You'd be ok with your child dying a horrible death just so it could hear your voice and you think they're selfish?


Quoting hismommy2010:

 We all have our thoughts, feelings and opinions - just like we all have butt holes! (lol).


 


My thought is, what about before we had testings to see if anything was 'wrong' with the baby? We delivered them and went from there.


Sure, it would be heart breaking and devastating to know that this is going on with your un-born baby. But IMO these people were putting them selfs before their child. They were more concerned with how they felt with all of this.


The baby more then likely wouldn't live long after birth, ok - i get that. but I would much rather continue on with the pregnancy, let the baby hear my voice, feel my warmth and know that she IS loved. And I would much rather give birth to her, and hold her, let her look into my eyes, and hear my voice for what ever amount of time she had. I would rather my baby KNOW me and my love, even if it was only for 5 minutes.


I would want to just give up.


 

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