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If your husband/significant other has an affair, is it any of your business?

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Another poster got me thinking...she basically believes that anything she does is her own business and not her husband's and everything her husband does that he chooses to keep to himself is his private business and not hers. They have no right to each others privacy.

So, if your husband has an affair or several is it any if your business? Why or why not?
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by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 3:17 PM
Replies (11-20):
muslimahpj
by Ruby Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:56 PM
1 mom liked this

If I remember the convo correctly, the other person stated that if they were in therapy to try to work on their relationship, what would either party gain from knowing about the affair, correct?  If that is the scenario, in a way, I agree with her. If they are already trying to work things out, why bring that out in the open and cause even more pain? Sometimes it's not always best to 'let it all out', especially if there are selfish motives involved.

NWP
by guerrilla girl on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Marraige is a legal contract. Having an affair is a breach of that contract...so yes, it is part of the "business" of being married.

Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:01 PM

 
So, if your husband has an affair or several is it any if your business? Why or why not?

 

In that case, then his "issue" becomes "her issue" and it is no longer a matter of privacy. With that being said, my dh and I each have our own private lives. I do not share every detail of my day or my thoughts or my actions. BUT, when it impacts the family unit, then it is no longer private. Having an affair would fall under that.

Paperfishies
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:13 PM
She also went on to state that if he or she chooses NOT to share something they have done it is not any of the other spouses business.


Quoting muslimahpj:

If I remember the convo correctly, the other person stated that if they were in therapy to try to work on their relationship, what would either party gain from knowing about the affair, correct?  If that is the scenario, in a way, I agree with her. If they are already trying to work things out, why bring that out in the open and cause even more pain? Sometimes it's not always best to 'let it all out', especially if there are selfish motives involved.


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hopealways4019
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:20 PM
2 moms liked this
Yes it's my business, because im sleeping with him, exposing myself to stds. Also he better not be taking household money spurgling on mistress. Dont wanna be faithful, shouldn't be marry.
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LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:22 PM

That would be me.

What my husband chooses to do is his business.

What I choose to do (including what I choose to do about it) is mine.

GLWerth
by Gina on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:23 PM

An affair by my husband could have an effect on my health, so yes, it is my business.

If you want to sleep around, end your current relationship first. That is simple decency.

LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:24 PM

It isn't.

Just as muslimahpj said.

Quoting Paperfishies:

She also went on to state that if he or she chooses NOT to share something they have done it is not any of the other spouses business.


Quoting muslimahpj:

If I remember the convo correctly, the other person stated that if they were in therapy to try to work on their relationship, what would either party gain from knowing about the affair, correct?  If that is the scenario, in a way, I agree with her. If they are already trying to work things out, why bring that out in the open and cause even more pain? Sometimes it's not always best to 'let it all out', especially if there are selfish motives involved.



Paperfishies
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:24 PM
1 mom liked this
I appreciate you posting and clarifying.


Quoting LindaClement:

That would be me.

What my husband chooses to do is his business.

What I choose to do (including what I choose to do about it) is mine.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:26 PM

Those are certainly MY values, which drive and direct MY behaviour.

What anyone else does (including all the fall-out they glean from it) is not my business.

Quoting GLWerth:

An affair by my husband could have an effect on my health, so yes, it is my business.

If you want to sleep around, end your current relationship first. That is simple decency.


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