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Study: One in Three Marriages End Due to Baby Crying at Night

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:59 AM
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1 mom liked this

Study: One in Three Marriages End Due to Baby Crying at Night

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By Ashley Davis, Sun, March 17, 2013

It looks like a crying baby is more than just an annoyance, as some have been blamed for the falling apart of marriages.

Parents with young kids get an average of six hours of sleep a night, an hour less than what is recommended. But that number is even less for new parents.

Doctors say adults need at least five hours of uninterrupted sleep to function and concentrate the next day.

A recent survey of 2,000 parents found that, in one in three couples, the lack of sleep caused by babies resulted in their eventual divorce or separation.

Eleven percent of those surveyed also admitted to pretending to be asleep when their child started crying so that the other partner would deal with them.

And another eleven percent said they shut the door to block out the crying and nine percent turned up the television.

One in 20 parents also said they were so tired that they fell asleep behind the wheel.

The poll was part of an advice phone-in show called Bedtime Live.

Tanya Byron, a psychologists who appears on the show, said children often develop sleep problems due to their parents' way of dealing with their nighttime crying.

"I see people whose children have chronic sleep problems and they'll say things like their children get really upset if they try to send them to bed. Well, I promise you, they won't hate you in the morning when they've had a proper rest. Our generation struggles with discipline much more than any other, but the lack of boundaries will only cause more and more difficulties," she said.

"From a clinical perspective, a lot of those I see in my own clinics, predominantly children, have underlying issues with not getting enough sleep, even if that isn't the problem they are presenting with."

"Behavioural difficulties, family issues, learning and concentration issues: there is a significant number of these common problems which have poor sleep at the heart of it."

A recent study also showed that parents who had a good night's sleep saw an improvement in their relationships as they tended to act less selfish.

University of California found that couples who slept well were more likely to be polite to each other.

DailyMail

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:59 AM
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PamR
by Pam on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:06 AM
5 moms liked this

Sleep deprivation definitely doesn't help anyone.  I wonder how many of those marriages had a dad who wasn't getting up to do his share of the nighttime baby duty? 

MommaTasha1003
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:15 AM
1 mom liked this

Well Im curious how many of those marriages where truely happy before the baby?

How many of the moms had to go back to work ASAP? How many of the dads where doing their part in helping with the kid? How many tried co-sleeping?


I learned alot with DD.. This time my DS is co-sleeping (side- car crib) and we all get plenty of rest every night! :)

survivorinohio
by René on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:26 AM
3 moms liked this

I totally think this is true.  I also think its somewhat responsible for the trends I see in youth violence even though so many people say that we just hear about it more today.  I really think its a bigger issue than sleep deprivation and its an issue that evidently also causes sleep deprivation in parents.

Quote:

Our generation struggles with discipline much more than any other, but the lack of boundaries will only cause more and more difficulties," she said.


lizzielouaf
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:28 AM
4 moms liked this
I will NEVER forget sitting up in bed with my son, nursing in the middle of the night, sobbing uncontrollably because I had sore nipples, no sleep and a snoring husband laying beside me. I hated everybody at that time of my life. Sleep deprived new parents are not rational for several years....right around the time they have another baby.
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Crazylife1994
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:30 AM

I would have to ask the same question. I see and hear too many my husband/BF never get up and help.


If my husband had done his share we wouldn't still be married.


Quoting PamR:

Sleep deprivation definitely doesn't help anyone.  I wonder how many of those marriages had a dad who wasn't getting up to do his share of the nighttime baby duty? 



coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:34 AM
DH was good about getting up in the middle of the night but we had a schedule because he would sleep through their cries. On his nights I would wake him up and he got right up.
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SEEKEROFSHELLS
by Platinum Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:41 AM
2 moms liked this

 Since when are you guarenteed a full  nights sleep with a baby in the house? You are NOT. Suck it up and take care of the baby. That's what parents do. This is a reason for divorce? Really? 

Euphoric
by Bazinga! on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:46 AM
1 mom liked this

 Exactly. When our children were infants, my husband worked as a team. I imagine the couples this happens to aren't very happy with each other to begin with.

Quoting SEEKEROFSHELLS:

 Since when are you guarenteed a full  nights sleep with a baby in the house? You are NOT. Suck it up and take care of the baby. That's what parents do. This is a reason for divorce? Really? 

 

www.cafemom.com/group/116692
smalltowngal
by Platinum Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:48 AM

We called that our survival period. We were just trying to get through it. So much nicer now that they're older. 

SEEKEROFSHELLS
by Platinum Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:59 AM
3 moms liked this

 You are right. Happy couples aren't going to break up over this. 


Quoting Euphoric:

 Exactly. When our children were infants, my husband worked as a team. I imagine the couples this happens to aren't very happy with each other to begin with.

Quoting SEEKEROFSHELLS:

 Since when are you guarenteed a full  nights sleep with a baby in the house? You are NOT. Suck it up and take care of the baby. That's what parents do. This is a reason for divorce? Really? 

 



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