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Feds Spend $400,000 to Study Duck Genitals

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 7:57 AM
  • 8 Replies


For the past four years, American taxpayers have paid nearly $400,000 so that Yale University could study the sexual conflict of waterfowl and “plasticity in duck penis length.”

The National Science Foundation awarded Yale University $384,949 for a study on “Sexual Conflict, Social Behavior and the Evolution of Waterfowl Genitalia.”

The discovery was first reported by CNSNews.com – and noted the grant was made available through President Obama’s American Recovery and Reinvestment Act.

“Ducks are ideally suited to study the evolution of sexual conflict and the evolution of reproductive structures,” the study declares. “In the last quarter, we have prepared a manuscript for submission on the results of the first two years of experiments on social phenotypic plasticity in Mandarin Duck and Laysan Teal.”

NSF spokesperson Debbie Wing told Fox News the project now has a new name: “Sexual Conflict, Social Behavior and Evolution.”

She said the NSF awards 11,000 grants annually and said winners are selected by a peer review process.

“NSF always strives to be good stewards of taxpayer dollars,” she said – pointing out that Google and barcodes were a result of NSF-funded projects.

“These were awards that turned into great companies and products,” she said. “It’s an investment into our future. It’s an investment into our economy. Sometimes you have to look at the big picture.”

So how does the plasticity of a duck’s sexual organ fit into the nation’s economic future? “It’s building blocks and looking at the basic research of one aware – gathering that research and applying it to other awards,” she said.

“We really do have some great and valuable research coming out of our organization,” Wing added.

I’m terribly confused. I thought the entire point of the Recovery Act was to stimulate the economy – not Donald Duck.

And for that matter wasn’t there a cheaper way to determine the length of a duck’s private parts?

Why not put on some hip-waders, grab a measuring stick and head down to the local duck pond?

Or better yet – why not just call the boys over at Duck Dynasty? I’m sure Uncle Si would’ve been more than happy to tell those Ivy Leaguers a thing or two about the birds and the bees.

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by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 7:57 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Donna6503
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:01 AM
4 moms liked this

There has to be a reason why Donald never wears any pants.

candlegal
by Judy on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:47 AM

I wonder if each of those 11,000 grants cost $400,000.

brookiecookie87
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:54 AM
2 moms liked this


Quote:

I’m terribly confused. I thought the entire point of the Recovery Act was to stimulate the economy – not Donald Duck.

And for that matter wasn’t there a cheaper way to determine the length of a duck’s private parts?

Why not put on some hip-waders, grab a measuring stick and head down to the local duck pond?

Or better yet – why not just call the boys over at Duck Dynasty? I’m sure Uncle Si would’ve been more than happy to tell those Ivy Leaguers a thing or two about the birds and the bees.

Is this a blog? Because this person deson't seem to have any clue what the topic is on. It's not about donald duck or the length of private parts.

lga1965
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:10 AM

 yeah,this is definitely Obama's fault...or maybe the gays.....yup.

krysstizzle
by DeepThought on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:22 AM
1 mom liked this

The National Science Foundation grants research. 

This is research. Whoever wrote this has absolutely no understanding of science generally, it seems. 

DivingDiva
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:27 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting lga1965:

 yeah,this is definitely Obama's fault...or maybe the gays.....yup.


The answer is obviously that we need to ban gay ducks.  They are clearly ruining the economy. 

LauraKW
by "Dude!" on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:45 PM
No understanding of science or the grant process.

Quoting krysstizzle:

The National Science Foundation grants research. 

This is research. Whoever wrote this has absolutely no understanding of science generally, it seems. 

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coolmommy2x
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:47 PM
1 mom liked this
Haha! I truly LOL'd!

Quoting DivingDiva:




Quoting lga1965:

 yeah,this is definitely Obama's fault...or maybe the gays.....yup.



The answer is obviously that we need to ban gay ducks.  They are clearly ruining the economy. 

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