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Dear Bigoted Lady I Work With, by ElsieElsie

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 5:26 PM
  • 20 Replies
3 moms liked this

I was simultaneously disgusted and amused today to learn that you don't support marriage equality. Let me tell you why.

You're in your early 30s. You're white. You were a teenage mom. You came up poor and you're working your way to your college degree. You've married a good, kind, hard working guy who clearly loves you, and the two of you aspire to live the American dream. Not only that, you have a plan and you're working hard to get there.

I admire you. I just want you to know that. You remind me of my dad. He worked his way from no running water or electric to a six-figure salary and a fine home for which he could pay cash. 

You two have so much in common, but you could never stand one another.

You see, you married a black man. My dad can't handle that. He doesn't think it's right. He thinks it's bad for the children and just basically wrong. In fact, a lot of people agree with him - and they find plenty of justification in the bible for their views. You know they can't handle your marriage. It's 2013, but people still stare and you still feel uneasy, even in this deepest marine blue state. 

But it doesn't matter - you hold your head up high, and teach your beautiful (biracial) kids to hold their heads high. I admire that. A not insignificant part of the ability to hold your head high was a court case that was decided the year my dad married my mom. In Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court of the United States told bigoted dicks like my dad that they were entitled to their opinions, but legally, they could shove it. That's a nice underpinning for facing the world proudly, holding the hand of the one you love.

So I know you know exactly what it's like to be denigrated for whom you love. I know you know what it's like to stand tall when people around you give you the stink eye, but you know what's in your heart is right. And to know you're backed up by the force of the law. It helps. You were born over a decade after Loving was decided - you get to take your righteousness for granted.

That's why your failure to support marriage equality, on the precise bases thrown at your very marriage, is such appalling hypocrisy. This doesn't just suggest an utter lack of self-awareness. It tells me that when you look at me, you don't see me as a full person; that you don't see my relationship as one built of love - just like yours. Just like my dad would look at you.

Here's the best part, though. You and I have one more thing in common, because we live in Washington State. Last fall, the voters of our fine state resoundingly supported marriage equality. So, like you before me, I can celebrate your right to have that opinion, while I jubilate in my right to not give a stinking rat's ass about it. I hope one day you'll change your mind, but until that day, I don't have to care if you do.

Bless your bigoted little heart.

from: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/03/21/1195740/-Dear-bigoted-lady-I-work-with

Thoughts?

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 5:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sisteract
by Whoopie on Mar. 22, 2013 at 5:33 PM
1 mom liked this

None are so blind as those who refuse to see.

None are so deaf as those who refuse to hear.

Some have major problems connecting dots [even when they are connected for them]- it's a "selective" process- what applies to them does not apply to to others. There's always a justification or deflection.

Presenting the obvious does no good- it's willful ignorance. Nice try though.

LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Mar. 22, 2013 at 5:36 PM

I just shared it because I quite liked the story ... dunno what I was 'trying'...

Quoting Sisteract:

None are so blind as those who refuse to see.

None are so deaf as those who refuse to hear.

Some have major problems connecting dots [even when they are connected for them]- it's a "selective" process- what applies to them does not apply to to others. There's always a justification or deflection.

Presenting the obvious does no good- it's willful ignorance. Nice try though.


eema.gray
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 5:38 PM
1 mom liked this

A valient attempt but one which her friend will probably completely fail to understand.

LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Mar. 22, 2013 at 5:39 PM

I think that was the author's point, don't you?

Quoting eema.gray:

A valient attempt but one which her friend will probably completely fail to understand.


brookiecookie87
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 5:41 PM


I took it as she meant it was a nice try at getting someone who refuses to see, to see.

Quoting LindaClement:

I just shared it because I quite liked the story ... dunno what I was 'trying'...

Quoting Sisteract:

None are so blind as those who refuse to see.

None are so deaf as those who refuse to hear.

Some have major problems connecting dots [even when they are connected for them]- it's a "selective" process- what applies to them does not apply to to others. There's always a justification or deflection.

Presenting the obvious does no good- it's willful ignorance. Nice try though.




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LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Mar. 22, 2013 at 5:45 PM

Oh, I don't think the author was trying to get anyone to see anything: it wouldn't be to an anonymous co-worker, it would be given directly to her... if that was the purpose.

I thought it was the author sharing her thinking, not trying to convince anyone of anything...

Quoting brookiecookie87:


I took it as she meant it was a nice try at getting someone who refuses to see, to see.

Quoting LindaClement:

I just shared it because I quite liked the story ... dunno what I was 'trying'...

Quoting Sisteract:

None are so blind as those who refuse to see.

None are so deaf as those who refuse to hear.

Some have major problems connecting dots [even when they are connected for them]- it's a "selective" process- what applies to them does not apply to to others. There's always a justification or deflection.

Presenting the obvious does no good- it's willful ignorance. Nice try though.





motha2daDuchess
by Bruja on Mar. 22, 2013 at 5:50 PM
1 mom liked this

LOVES it

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:38 PM
1 mom liked this

If she's strong in her belief system, this won't phase her in the least.

SunshneDaydream
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 5:43 PM
1 mom liked this

I think that's fantastically written.  And the woman in question reminds me of my SIL.  She is white, and has only dated black men since she started dating in her teens.  She has a biracial child and is marrying a (wonderful) black man.  Yet she "disagrees" with homosexuality because she is a Christian.  Absolutely ridiculous.  To give her the benefit of the doubt, though, I will say that I think she's trying to be more accepting.  I think since my husband (her brother) and I had my gay brother move in with us and she has been forced to actually spend time with a gay person she is starting to try and modify her views.  Couldn't hurt that my husband once said to her "You know, you talk about gay people like the KKK talks about black people!"  and for once in her life, she was speechless.  

phoebe81
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 5:46 PM
2 moms liked this

As a straight, Christian woman living in WA state, the day we voted in support of marriage equality was a proud day.

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