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Women Bashing Women: When to draw the line.

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If anyone isn't aware, recently making national news, a 16 yr old girl's rapists, also ranging from 16-17, were convicted and sentence for their crime (Steubenville, Ohio case if you want to research). Immediately following their sentencing, other teenage GIRLS raced to social media sites to bash and threaten her. I first thoughts are: "Are you serious?" and "Unbelievable!" As a girl/women how can you go so far as to threaten or bash another girl/women who's the victim in this situation? But the issue goes farther than this case, because it wouldn't be the first of its kind. So the questions posed are: When is enough, quiet frankly, enough? Why is it so acceptable to belittle, berate, slander, threaten, and demean other women? We already live in a patriarchal society, why is so necessary to further push women down the ladder of progression? Please weigh in with your thoughts. 

Thanks


by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 3:17 AM
Replies (21-30):
SoKamele
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:48 AM

hmmm...true maybe I should have said.......natural distrust. instead.

Quoting Denisethedaring:

 I don't think women have a natural dislike of each other.  For one thing, I'm definitely a woman and if disliking other women in general was a natural thing, then I would. But I don't.  I have met women who seemed to just really dislke women in general, but it was usually pretty clear why they did and what they got out of it.


Quoting SoKamele:

That's how men keep women down.....our natural dislike of each other. Using our own weakness against us.

Cafemom is a perfect example. Women loving to put other women down...just because they can.

Shame on those girls.....and shame on their parents. If my child did that. Well..let's just say they would know the meaning of hell on earth.




AdrianneHill
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:20 AM
That's true. We might as well be knocking on wood

Quoting autodidact:


I also think to some degree there is magical thinking happening. it's comforting to think that rape can be avoided by the "right" clothing choices and by limiting women's freedom to "appropriate" times and places.

if you believe it was the woman's fault that means you can do things differently and be safe. 


Quoting AdrianneHill:

I said it in an earlier thread but I really believe that the women who do this think they will be congratulated and protected by the men they are standing up for. They think that the girls that complain about rape are being babies because they should have never let themselves get hurt in the first place and by standing by the right for "men to be men" they think that somehow the men will see them as an ally instead of a target. Watch the unpopular kids get a chance to pick on someone else at the behest of the really popular kid. They really believe that by standing up for the bastards, the bastards will no longer see them as potential victims and they can all be friends. Makes as much sense but people are usually stupid




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Denisethedaring
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:16 AM

I don't naturally distrust women, either.  I don't distrust them any more than I distrust men. 


Quoting SoKamele:

hmmm...true maybe I should have said.......natural distrust. instead.

Quoting Denisethedaring:

 I don't think women have a natural dislike of each other.  For one thing, I'm definitely a woman and if disliking other women in general was a natural thing, then I would. But I don't.  I have met women who seemed to just really dislke women in general, but it was usually pretty clear why they did and what they got out of it.

 

Quoting SoKamele:

That's how men keep women down.....our natural dislike of each other. Using our own weakness against us.

Cafemom is a perfect example. Women loving to put other women down...just because they can.

Shame on those girls.....and shame on their parents. If my child did that. Well..let's just say they would know the meaning of hell on earth.

 

 



 

SoKamele
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:40 AM

lol...well I don't trust anybody that I haven't known for over a decade...and it's iffy even then.

Quoting Denisethedaring:

I don't naturally distrust women, either.  I don't distrust them any more than I distrust men. 


Quoting SoKamele:

hmmm...true maybe I should have said.......natural distrust. instead.

Quoting Denisethedaring:

 I don't think women have a natural dislike of each other.  For one thing, I'm definitely a woman and if disliking other women in general was a natural thing, then I would. But I don't.  I have met women who seemed to just really dislke women in general, but it was usually pretty clear why they did and what they got out of it.


Quoting SoKamele:

That's how men keep women down.....our natural dislike of each other. Using our own weakness against us.

Cafemom is a perfect example. Women loving to put other women down...just because they can.

Shame on those girls.....and shame on their parents. If my child did that. Well..let's just say they would know the meaning of hell on earth.







NWP
by guerrilla girl on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:48 AM

I am so sorry that happened to your child. I hope she is OK now and that the boy was punished.

You can't be with your children every single second of the day. Our friend's 6 yo was molested in a closet by an older teen during CHURCH.

Quoting kleea1969:

My own daughter was a victim to this. She was 12 years old a 16 almost 17 year old boy got her high and had sex with her. She had gotten scared and asked him to stop to which he begged to finish he never did stop (this part I didn't find out until a couple years later). I did press charges and to that my daughter was tortured by her peers. She was a slut, a whore, a snitch, a crackhead and a bunch more. The torture she went through after she was already abused was probably worse mentally then the actual abuse. She never expected her peers to turn on her and the hurt and betrayal she felt was probably harder then the hurt and betrayal she felt from the actual sexual abuse.

Why did these girls turn on her? Because it could make them feel more in control of another person? Because they themselves were insecure so had to beat another down? The boy was very popular and well liked by girls, so could it have been a jealousy thing? Maybe they just got off on another persons misery? I really don't know but I do know its heartbreaking that we as woman and girls, are so quick to try and destroy eachother. It sickens me.

I won't give all the details it isn't important as to how it happened but more important as to why it happened but I am sure some woman would bash me. I can hear the thoughts well where were you? How could you as a mother allow your daughter into a situation like that? It's sad that some would also turn on a mother in need of comfort but very common.


Neon Washable Paint

anxiousschk
by anxiouss on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:13 AM

This.  

Quoting Clairwil:

Quoting ccobb1010:

When is enough, quiet frankly, enough?

There is no solidarity 'sisterhood' that stops women bashing other women.

If I were to suggest a line to draw, it would be when a woman bashes another woman either in circumstances where she wouldn't bash a man, or just for being a woman.




ejsmom4604
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:35 AM

I think there are a few reasons. 1. Women in general tend to react emotionally. Whether the emotion is positive or negative, we tend to react to that. 2. Women in general, especially at a younger age, crave approval, and want to be at the top or near the top of the chain. Instinctively we want the best of the best. Just as men/boys compete to be with the "best" girl, girls compete to be with the "best" guy.

Women just use different tactics. And women tend to hold grudges far longer than guys do. I have personally noticed that in general, if guys fight (which is usually physical), once they are done, it's over and the move on. Perhaps even starting a new friendship if they weren't friend before the fight. Women, no we remember the tiniest things from 25 years ago that another female has done to us, and we in general don't forgive. Or at least not fully forgive, and are always waiting to see what that person may do now. 

Then there is living up to the societal views, parents views, peers views etc. It takes a lot to live up to what is right, and do what is right when so much pressure is put on a woman to do what everyone else wants. 


Naturewoman4
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 12:49 PM

I think since the internet came along, it just has made it easier to do all what people are doing now days.  Sadly, there's a lot of young people just don't do anything else but be on the internet.  Being 'mean' & disgusting is what is 'in' now days.  With the internet it has allowed young people (and old) to bully, put up disgusting pics.  I think also nothing to them is going too far.  People like this will take it further & further.  I'm always amazed how even here on CM, when we are all suppose to be adults, yet there are many that bully, belittle, berate, slander & demean other women.  Some moms in here are just like the bullies we see at schools.  Makes me wonder if some have done this in school.  Good thread btw. :)

MeAndTommyLee
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:06 PM

Totally agreeing with you,  Great insight, and I have no idea how old you are, but nearing 50 myself, I can attest that I remember things said or done to me since I was a kid back in the neighborhood.  LOL  It sticks with you, and just because you forgive, you never forget.  

In the generalist of terms, I can not `stick together' with women solely on the fact that I am a woman.  To me it's a  passive-aggressive discriminatory action.  Back in the 70's, that's the impression I got off of the feminists.  Doesn't matter if the women is right or wrong -- you NEED to stick with her because she is a woman and if you don't you are a traitor, repressed, and all types of other derogatory usage of terms the original fems used against females that did not follow the thinking.


Quoting ejsmom4604:

I think there are a few reasons. 1. Women in general tend to react emotionally. Whether the emotion is positive or negative, we tend to react to that. 2. Women in general, especially at a younger age, crave approval, and want to be at the top or near the top of the chain. Instinctively we want the best of the best. Just as men/boys compete to be with the "best" girl, girls compete to be with the "best" guy.

Women just use different tactics. And women tend to hold grudges far longer than guys do. I have personally noticed that in general, if guys fight (which is usually physical), once they are done, it's over and the move on. Perhaps even starting a new friendship if they weren't friend before the fight. Women, no we remember the tiniest things from 25 years ago that another female has done to us, and we in general don't forgive. Or at least not fully forgive, and are always waiting to see what that person may do now. 

Then there is living up to the societal views, parents views, peers views etc. It takes a lot to live up to what is right, and do what is right when so much pressure is put on a woman to do what everyone else wants. 




FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:12 PM

When my daughter, 15 at the time, was raped, her best friend is the one who helped set up the overall situation.

We will never understand why.  


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