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I've been reading so many downright disgusting comments about women and rape now that it has once again made international headlines (India, Ohio, etc. etc.)

I wrote up a blog expressing some thoughts, but here was a key point that I wanted to discuss-

"

People, so many people- are jumping at the bit, justifying rape at the expense of the victim.

She didn’t say no soon enough. She was a tease. She dressed a certain way. She hung out in the wrong venue. She put herself in a bad position (drinking, drugs).

Here’s the thing I’m hearing here:

Women are walking around, available to screw any time a guy wants to. UNLESS she says no."

Do you agree with that conclusion? That some people seem to think that sex is okay-expected- unless they object (soon enough), vs. sex isn't expected, deserved, etc UNLESS she consents? What do you feel is causing statements like the above examples to be made?

by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Replies (251-260):
mehamil1
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:44 PM
1 mom liked this

People change their minds. Maybe it seemed like a good idea when he was in the doorway and then became a bad idea when he was in her bed. I've been in that position. Like, ok, this no longer feels right, I want to back off. We have the right to change our minds. I don't blame her for changing her mind. And I'm glad he backed off. 

Just because she said yes and then a minute later said no, that doesn't mean she's to blame. Not at all. Feelings and reactions change at a moments notice and they should always be respected. Hindsight is 20/20 and I would hope she learned from that experience. 

Quoting justinnaimee:
While this man was in no way right there is one big glaring thing this girl did. Why would you invite a person to sleep with you in your bed? No that doesnt mean she consented but what did she expect to happen? I dont think how you dress or how sloppy you get when drunk is an invitation for sex. In this situation she does share a portion of the blame. And I'm glad he got the memo and backed off.
Quoting Bieg9093:

 Cutting and pasting 2 replies from the Reddit link where men who've raped desribe their experiences.  Now this first one...as far as I'm concerned the fact that she's 17 makes it heinous even if she had wanted it.  Adults must not take advantage of children.  Period.  But this same scenario surely plays out between adults all the time. Only serendipity made him realize what was happening.  I can't help but feel horrible for both male and female:

It happened when I was maybe 22. I had been visiting a buddy of mine who was living in a basement apartment in a college town. Upstairs lived a single dad and his teenage daughter. The dad worked nights if I recall.

So I show up to my buddies place, and we're having fun day hanging out, pre-drinking before we hit the bars that night. It was summer. The girl from upstairs had a couple friends over. I can't remember how it happened, but me and the girl (she was maybe 17) ended up play wrestling with me pinning her down. We were all laughing, but we when made eye contact...it was "that" look we exchanged. The.."I'd fuck you" look. I immediatly got up and later me and my buddie went to the bar. The night would have gone like any other, drinking, dancing, hitting on women. I remember getting back to the house, and my buddy led me into the girls room. He asked her if I could crash in her room. I was kinda astounded actually that she said yes.

I think thats when in my drunken mind I thought that she MUST have wanted it.

I was on one side of the bed, clumsily trying to play footsie with her. She seemed kinda nervous, but at the same time I remember she was saying provocative things. At some point I just said screw it and climbed on top of her and tried to kiss her. She tried to squirm away.

Now, I remember exactly what I was thinking at the time. This girl gave me "the look" earlier, she invited me into her bed. What teenage girl would pass up the oppertunity to be with a 22 year old guy? She MUST want it. I tried again, and slid my hands over her body.

It was then I looked at her face. She was petrified. I at that point pulled myself together, rolled off her and apologized. My hormones were RAGING. I asked her why she didn't want to. I told her what I thought above. She started to cry.

I got up, apologized again and went to the couch and spent the night staring at the ceiling thinking I was going to go to jail.

My buddy got up and we went for breakfast. When we got back, one the girls friends was there and demanded to speak to me outside. She quietly told me that her friend said I tried to rape her. She wanted to hear my side, since the day before I seemed like such a funny/sweet guy. I told her the story. She looked at me with a disgust I'll never forget and said that I may not have been an actual rapist...but I was as close to one as you could get. I wanted to apologise again, but her friend said it best that I just leave. I got in my car and left right away.

That was the lowest I've ever felt in my life.

autodidact
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:45 PM


Yeah that highlighting is in pink was DONE by me, and refers to body language and manner of dress.

Quoting Carpy:

look down to the pink.

Quoting autodidact:

No this post here was not discussing inebriation. 


Quoting Carpy:

It has to do with the number of times it has been stated that if a woman is drunk she can not consent. Including this post here. And lay off the pot and maybe you can comprehend.



Quoting autodidact:


and that has what to do with my post or the pot I was responding to? inebrriation isn't a yes, either, not that that,s what we were discussing.




Quoting Carpy:

Inebriation does not mean rape. She can very well be a willing partner when drunk and regret it in the morning but that alone does not constitute rape or we would have one hell of a lot of men in jail.





Quoting autodidact:


thank you! 




Quoting soonergirl980:

Dear God your clothes cannot say yes for you, your body cannot say yes for you, only your brain and mouth can say yes for you. And if she didn't say yes and is clearly inebriated it IS FORCIBLE RAPE!





Quoting jehosoba84:

 








 I agree. I'm referring to the women who dress baring everything and drink/use drugs among strangers.  They are not usually in a state to say no, but throughout the evening they've been saying "Yes" with their bodies.   I'm not referring to forcible rape.























FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:45 PM


Quoting mehamil1:

I think it's insane that he would think that just because she's 17 and he's 22 that she would want to screw him simply based on that. "What 17 year old wouldn't want to get with a 22 year old?" That is mind boggling to me. What kind of person justifies that? 

Quoting ethans_momma06:

This is what I was talking about earlier- about mixed signals. They do happen. However, clearly- despite all "the signals" that he was picking up- she was displaying others that he began to push aside, justifying his actions based on what he *thought* (or wanted to think) were yes's.

This is what I think a lot of us were getting at. When a girl is squirming- that's a signal NOT to push ahead. To check and make sure that things are consensual.

Thankfully, he was able to eventually see without a doubt that she was saying NO. And, he didn't rape her. But, he almost did.

The flirting, the wrestling- what they meant (if they were yes's) are immediatly voided when she says no. You don't get to not stop when she's saying stop, even if she said Go! Go! Go! Earlier- plain as day.

Quoting Bieg9093:

 Cutting and pasting 2 replies from the Reddit link where men who've raped desribe their experiences.  Now this first one...as far as I'm concerned the fact that she's 17 makes it heinous even if she had wanted it.  Adults must not take advantage of children.  Period.  But this same scenario surely plays out between adults all the time. Only serendipity made him realize what was happening.  I can't help but feel horrible for both male and female:

It happened when I was maybe 22. I had been visiting a buddy of mine who was living in a basement apartment in a college town. Upstairs lived a single dad and his teenage daughter. The dad worked nights if I recall.

So I show up to my buddies place, and we're having fun day hanging out, pre-drinking before we hit the bars that night. It was summer. The girl from upstairs had a couple friends over. I can't remember how it happened, but me and the girl (she was maybe 17) ended up play wrestling with me pinning her down. We were all laughing, but we when made eye contact...it was "that" look we exchanged. The.."I'd fuck you" look. I immediatly got up and later me and my buddie went to the bar. The night would have gone like any other, drinking, dancing, hitting on women. I remember getting back to the house, and my buddy led me into the girls room. He asked her if I could crash in her room. I was kinda astounded actually that she said yes.

I think thats when in my drunken mind I thought that she MUST have wanted it.

I was on one side of the bed, clumsily trying to play footsie with her. She seemed kinda nervous, but at the same time I remember she was saying provocative things. At some point I just said screw it and climbed on top of her and tried to kiss her. She tried to squirm away.

Now, I remember exactly what I was thinking at the time. This girl gave me "the look" earlier, she invited me into her bed. What teenage girl would pass up the oppertunity to be with a 22 year old guy? She MUST want it. I tried again, and slid my hands over her body.

It was then I looked at her face. She was petrified. I at that point pulled myself together, rolled off her and apologized. My hormones were RAGING. I asked her why she didn't want to. I told her what I thought above. She started to cry.

I got up, apologized again and went to the couch and spent the night staring at the ceiling thinking I was going to go to jail.

My buddy got up and we went for breakfast. When we got back, one the girls friends was there and demanded to speak to me outside. She quietly told me that her friend said I tried to rape her. She wanted to hear my side, since the day before I seemed like such a funny/sweet guy. I told her the story. She looked at me with a disgust I'll never forget and said that I may not have been an actual rapist...but I was as close to one as you could get. I wanted to apologise again, but her friend said it best that I just leave. I got in my car and left right away.

That was the lowest I've ever felt in my life.

There is no justification but it certainly is real, far too real.  His way of thinking this is wrong but so are the girls who actually feel this way.

This thinking, unfortunately, has not just come about.  

mehamil1
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:47 PM

I understand that and we don't live in a perfect world. 

Quoting FromAtoZ:
Quoting mehamil1:

I think it's insane that he would think that just because she's 17 and he's 22 that she would want to screw him simply based on that. "What 17 year old wouldn't want to get with a 22 year old?" That is mind boggling to me. What kind of person justifies that? 

Quoting ethans_momma06:

This is what I was talking about earlier- about mixed signals. They do happen. However, clearly- despite all "the signals" that he was picking up- she was displaying others that he began to push aside, justifying his actions based on what he *thought* (or wanted to think) were yes's.

This is what I think a lot of us were getting at. When a girl is squirming- that's a signal NOT to push ahead. To check and make sure that things are consensual.

Thankfully, he was able to eventually see without a doubt that she was saying NO. And, he didn't rape her. But, he almost did.

The flirting, the wrestling- what they meant (if they were yes's) are immediatly voided when she says no. You don't get to not stop when she's saying stop, even if she said Go! Go! Go! Earlier- plain as day.

There is no justification but it certainly is real, far too real.  His way of thinking this is wrong but so are the girls who actually feel this way.

This thinking, unfortunately, has not just come about.  

Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:48 PM
1 mom liked this

 She didn't say no.  She tried to squirm away.  It could have been similar motions to the wrestling they did earlier.

I don't get this..."This is what I think a lot of us were getting at. When a girl is squirming- that's a signal NOT to push ahead. To check and make sure that things are consensual."  How is it that all the responsibility for clear communications is on the guy?  HE has to ask multiple times throughout the experience.  HE has to make sure it's an "enthusiastic yes."  HE has to determine her level of intoxication.  HE has to IGNORE all non-verbal communication that indicates a yes, but MUST correctly interpret non-verbal communication that might indicate a no.

Does that make sense in reality? 

And again...I will be teaching my son that YES...he MUST do all of those things.

Quoting ethans_momma06:

 

This is what I was talking about earlier- about mixed signals. They do happen. However, clearly- despite all "the signals" that he was picking up- she was displaying others that he began to push aside, justifying his actions based on what he *thought* (or wanted to think) were yes's.

This is what I think a lot of us were getting at. When a girl is squirming- that's a signal NOT to push ahead. To check and make sure that things are consensual.

Thankfully, he was able to eventually see without a doubt that she was saying NO. And, he didn't rape her. But, he almost did.

The flirting, the wrestling- what they meant (if they were yes's) are immediatly voided when she says no. You don't get to not stop when she's saying stop, even if she said Go! Go! Go! Earlier- plain as day.

Quoting Bieg9093:

 Cutting and pasting 2 replies from the Reddit link where men who've raped desribe their experiences.  Now this first one...as far as I'm concerned the fact that she's 17 makes it heinous even if she had wanted it.  Adults must not take advantage of children.  Period.  But this same scenario surely plays out between adults all the time. Only serendipity made him realize what was happening.  I can't help but feel horrible for both male and female:

It happened when I was maybe 22. I had been visiting a buddy of mine who was living in a basement apartment in a college town. Upstairs lived a single dad and his teenage daughter. The dad worked nights if I recall.

So I show up to my buddies place, and we're having fun day hanging out, pre-drinking before we hit the bars that night. It was summer. The girl from upstairs had a couple friends over. I can't remember how it happened, but me and the girl (she was maybe 17) ended up play wrestling with me pinning her down. We were all laughing, but we when made eye contact...it was "that" look we exchanged. The.."I'd fuck you" look. I immediatly got up and later me and my buddie went to the bar. The night would have gone like any other, drinking, dancing, hitting on women. I remember getting back to the house, and my buddy led me into the girls room. He asked her if I could crash in her room. I was kinda astounded actually that she said yes.

I think thats when in my drunken mind I thought that she MUST have wanted it.

I was on one side of the bed, clumsily trying to play footsie with her. She seemed kinda nervous, but at the same time I remember she was saying provocative things. At some point I just said screw it and climbed on top of her and tried to kiss her. She tried to squirm away.

Now, I remember exactly what I was thinking at the time. This girl gave me "the look" earlier, she invited me into her bed. What teenage girl would pass up the oppertunity to be with a 22 year old guy? She MUST want it. I tried again, and slid my hands over her body.

It was then I looked at her face. She was petrified. I at that point pulled myself together, rolled off her and apologized. My hormones were RAGING. I asked her why she didn't want to. I told her what I thought above. She started to cry.

I got up, apologized again and went to the couch and spent the night staring at the ceiling thinking I was going to go to jail.

My buddy got up and we went for breakfast. When we got back, one the girls friends was there and demanded to speak to me outside. She quietly told me that her friend said I tried to rape her. She wanted to hear my side, since the day before I seemed like such a funny/sweet guy. I told her the story. She looked at me with a disgust I'll never forget and said that I may not have been an actual rapist...but I was as close to one as you could get. I wanted to apologise again, but her friend said it best that I just leave. I got in my car and left right away.

That was the lowest I've ever felt in my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:51 PM

 Statutory rape is rape.  Adults must protect children, not have sex with them.  I thought 18 was the standard age for consent.  If, in that state, 17 is legal then no...not heinous.

Quoting Carpy:

The fact that she is 17 makes it heinous to you? Really? That really is not what I would call heinous. 17 is legal in most states and sorry, but their was clearly a signal sent there when she lets him sleep in her bed. At least he stopped. Now if you said 7 and he forced himself on her, then I could certainly agree.

Quoting Bieg9093:

 Cutting and pasting 2 replies from the Reddit link where men who've raped desribe their experiences.  Now this first one...as far as I'm concerned the fact that she's 17 makes it heinous even if she had wanted it.  Adults must not take advantage of children.  Period.  But this same scenario surely plays out between adults all the time. Only serendipity made him realize what was happening.  I can't help but feel horrible for both male and female:


It happened when I was maybe 22. I had been visiting a buddy of mine who was living in a basement apartment in a college town. Upstairs lived a single dad and his teenage daughter. The dad worked nights if I recall.


So I show up to my buddies place, and we're having fun day hanging out, pre-drinking before we hit the bars that night. It was summer. The girl from upstairs had a couple friends over. I can't remember how it happened, but me and the girl (she was maybe 17) ended up play wrestling with me pinning her down. We were all laughing, but we when made eye contact...it was "that" look we exchanged. The.."I'd fuck you" look. I immediatly got up and later me and my buddie went to the bar. The night would have gone like any other, drinking, dancing, hitting on women. I remember getting back to the house, and my buddy led me into the girls room. He asked her if I could crash in her room. I was kinda astounded actually that she said yes.


I think thats when in my drunken mind I thought that she MUST have wanted it.


I was on one side of the bed, clumsily trying to play footsie with her. She seemed kinda nervous, but at the same time I remember she was saying provocative things. At some point I just said screw it and climbed on top of her and tried to kiss her. She tried to squirm away.


Now, I remember exactly what I was thinking at the time. This girl gave me "the look" earlier, she invited me into her bed. What teenage girl would pass up the oppertunity to be with a 22 year old guy? She MUST want it. I tried again, and slid my hands over her body.


It was then I looked at her face. She was petrified. I at that point pulled myself together, rolled off her and apologized. My hormones were RAGING. I asked her why she didn't want to. I told her what I thought above. She started to cry.


I got up, apologized again and went to the couch and spent the night staring at the ceiling thinking I was going to go to jail.


My buddy got up and we went for breakfast. When we got back, one the girls friends was there and demanded to speak to me outside. She quietly told me that her friend said I tried to rape her. She wanted to hear my side, since the day before I seemed like such a funny/sweet guy. I told her the story. She looked at me with a disgust I'll never forget and said that I may not have been an actual rapist...but I was as close to one as you could get. I wanted to apologise again, but her friend said it best that I just leave. I got in my car and left right away.


That was the lowest I've ever felt in my life.


 


 


 

 

Carpy
by Ruby Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:52 PM
It is sixteen in many state and a few are 14. which I highly disagree with.

Quoting Bieg9093:

 Statutory rape is rape.  Adults must protect children, not have sex with them.  I thought 18 was the standard age for consent.  If, in that state, 17 is legal then no...not heinous.


Quoting Carpy:

The fact that she is 17 makes it heinous to you? Really? That really is not what I would call heinous. 17 is legal in most states and sorry, but their was clearly a signal sent there when she lets him sleep in her bed. At least he stopped. Now if you said 7 and he forced himself on her, then I could certainly agree.


Quoting Bieg9093:


 Cutting and pasting 2 replies from the Reddit link where men who've raped desribe their experiences.  Now this first one...as far as I'm concerned the fact that she's 17 makes it heinous even if she had wanted it.  Adults must not take advantage of children.  Period.  But this same scenario surely plays out between adults all the time. Only serendipity made him realize what was happening.  I can't help but feel horrible for both male and female:



It happened when I was maybe 22. I had been visiting a buddy of mine who was living in a basement apartment in a college town. Upstairs lived a single dad and his teenage daughter. The dad worked nights if I recall.



So I show up to my buddies place, and we're having fun day hanging out, pre-drinking before we hit the bars that night. It was summer. The girl from upstairs had a couple friends over. I can't remember how it happened, but me and the girl (she was maybe 17) ended up play wrestling with me pinning her down. We were all laughing, but we when made eye contact...it was "that" look we exchanged. The.."I'd fuck you" look. I immediatly got up and later me and my buddie went to the bar. The night would have gone like any other, drinking, dancing, hitting on women. I remember getting back to the house, and my buddy led me into the girls room. He asked her if I could crash in her room. I was kinda astounded actually that she said yes.



I think thats when in my drunken mind I thought that she MUST have wanted it.



I was on one side of the bed, clumsily trying to play footsie with her. She seemed kinda nervous, but at the same time I remember she was saying provocative things. At some point I just said screw it and climbed on top of her and tried to kiss her. She tried to squirm away.



Now, I remember exactly what I was thinking at the time. This girl gave me "the look" earlier, she invited me into her bed. What teenage girl would pass up the oppertunity to be with a 22 year old guy? She MUST want it. I tried again, and slid my hands over her body.



It was then I looked at her face. She was petrified. I at that point pulled myself together, rolled off her and apologized. My hormones were RAGING. I asked her why she didn't want to. I told her what I thought above. She started to cry.



I got up, apologized again and went to the couch and spent the night staring at the ceiling thinking I was going to go to jail.



My buddy got up and we went for breakfast. When we got back, one the girls friends was there and demanded to speak to me outside. She quietly told me that her friend said I tried to rape her. She wanted to hear my side, since the day before I seemed like such a funny/sweet guy. I told her the story. She looked at me with a disgust I'll never forget and said that I may not have been an actual rapist...but I was as close to one as you could get. I wanted to apologise again, but her friend said it best that I just leave. I got in my car and left right away.



That was the lowest I've ever felt in my life.



 



 



 


 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Carpy
by Ruby Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:54 PM
Whatever. Sorry I did not know you were the posting police.

Quoting autodidact:


Yeah that highlighting is in pink was DONE by me, and refers to body language and manner of dress.


Quoting Carpy:

look down to the pink.



Quoting autodidact:

No this post here was not discussing inebriation. 



Quoting Carpy:

It has to do with the number of times it has been stated that if a woman is drunk she can not consent. Including this post here. And lay off the pot and maybe you can comprehend.





Quoting autodidact:


and that has what to do with my post or the pot I was responding to? inebrriation isn't a yes, either, not that that,s what we were discussing.





Quoting Carpy:

Inebriation does not mean rape. She can very well be a willing partner when drunk and regret it in the morning but that alone does not constitute rape or we would have one hell of a lot of men in jail.







Quoting autodidact:


thank you! 





Quoting soonergirl980:

Dear God your clothes cannot say yes for you, your body cannot say yes for you, only your brain and mouth can say yes for you. And if she didn't say yes and is clearly inebriated it IS FORCIBLE RAPE!






Quoting jehosoba84:

 










 I agree. I'm referring to the women who dress baring everything and drink/use drugs among strangers.  They are not usually in a state to say no, but throughout the evening they've been saying "Yes" with their bodies.   I'm not referring to forcible rape.

























Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
parentalrights1
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:54 PM
1 mom liked this
That's another reason people need to stop victim blaming. Men will signals where there aren't any.

I remember some awkward emails from a man to his dates that went around a little while back where he was confused that tey didnt want a second date because he had seen then "playing with their hair." And he had read that girls play with their hair when they like a guy.

There was a post here in cm where a woman was posting about her teenage sister who she had sent to the nextdoor neighbors house (don't remember why) and the neighbor didnt try to rape her, but he tried to initiate sex because she was wearing an oversize tee shirt that day, and because she felt self conscious thinking it looked like she wasnt wearing shorts, the pulled the shirt up some to make the shorts visible and HE thought she was showing him her ass.

And we've all tried to attract men in our lives. Whether it was more subtle with makeup or stronger with short skirts, we've all tried to be sexy, but that didnt mean we were inviting any guy to have sex. We just wanted to turn heads or get someone to find us attractive


Quoting mehamil1:

I think it's insane that he would think that just because she's 17 and he's 22 that she would want to screw him simply based on that. "What 17 year old wouldn't want to get with a 22 year old?" That is mind boggling to me. What kind of person justifies that? 


Quoting ethans_momma06:

This is what I was talking about earlier- about mixed signals. They do happen. However, clearly- despite all "the signals" that he was picking up- she was displaying others that he began to push aside, justifying his actions based on what he *thought* (or wanted to think) were yes's.

This is what I think a lot of us were getting at. When a girl is squirming- that's a signal NOT to push ahead. To check and make sure that things are consensual.

Thankfully, he was able to eventually see without a doubt that she was saying NO. And, he didn't rape her. But, he almost did.

The flirting, the wrestling- what they meant (if they were yes's) are immediatly voided when she says no. You don't get to not stop when she's saying stop, even if she said Go! Go! Go! Earlier- plain as day.


Quoting Bieg9093:

 Cutting and pasting 2 replies from the Reddit link where men who've raped desribe their experiences.  Now this first one...as far as I'm concerned the fact that she's 17 makes it heinous even if she had wanted it.  Adults must not take advantage of children.  Period.  But this same scenario surely plays out between adults all the time. Only serendipity made him realize what was happening.  I can't help but feel horrible for both male and female:


It happened when I was maybe 22. I had been visiting a buddy of mine who was living in a basement apartment in a college town. Upstairs lived a single dad and his teenage daughter. The dad worked nights if I recall.


So I show up to my buddies place, and we're having fun day hanging out, pre-drinking before we hit the bars that night. It was summer. The girl from upstairs had a couple friends over. I can't remember how it happened, but me and the girl (she was maybe 17) ended up play wrestling with me pinning her down. We were all laughing, but we when made eye contact...it was "that" look we exchanged. The.."I'd fuck you" look. I immediatly got up and later me and my buddie went to the bar. The night would have gone like any other, drinking, dancing, hitting on women. I remember getting back to the house, and my buddy led me into the girls room. He asked her if I could crash in her room. I was kinda astounded actually that she said yes.


I think thats when in my drunken mind I thought that she MUST have wanted it.


I was on one side of the bed, clumsily trying to play footsie with her. She seemed kinda nervous, but at the same time I remember she was saying provocative things. At some point I just said screw it and climbed on top of her and tried to kiss her. She tried to squirm away.


Now, I remember exactly what I was thinking at the time. This girl gave me "the look" earlier, she invited me into her bed. What teenage girl would pass up the oppertunity to be with a 22 year old guy? She MUST want it. I tried again, and slid my hands over her body.


It was then I looked at her face. She was petrified. I at that point pulled myself together, rolled off her and apologized. My hormones were RAGING. I asked her why she didn't want to. I told her what I thought above. She started to cry.


I got up, apologized again and went to the couch and spent the night staring at the ceiling thinking I was going to go to jail.


My buddy got up and we went for breakfast. When we got back, one the girls friends was there and demanded to speak to me outside. She quietly told me that her friend said I tried to rape her. She wanted to hear my side, since the day before I seemed like such a funny/sweet guy. I told her the story. She looked at me with a disgust I'll never forget and said that I may not have been an actual rapist...but I was as close to one as you could get. I wanted to apologise again, but her friend said it best that I just leave. I got in my car and left right away.


That was the lowest I've ever felt in my life.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
parentalrights1
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:56 PM
Yeah if a man targets a drunk woman because he knows damn well she won't consent otherwise then he is a rapist and should be in jail.

Its a more socially accepted form of rape that people just havnt got with the program on yet


Quoting Carpy:

Whatever. Sorry I did not know you were the posting police.



Quoting autodidact:


Yeah that highlighting is in pink was DONE by me, and refers to body language and manner of dress.



Quoting Carpy:

look down to the pink.





Quoting autodidact:

No this post here was not discussing inebriation. 




Quoting Carpy:

It has to do with the number of times it has been stated that if a woman is drunk she can not consent. Including this post here. And lay off the pot and maybe you can comprehend.







Quoting autodidact:


and that has what to do with my post or the pot I was responding to? inebrriation isn't a yes, either, not that that,s what we were discussing.






Quoting Carpy:

Inebriation does not mean rape. She can very well be a willing partner when drunk and regret it in the morning but that alone does not constitute rape or we would have one hell of a lot of men in jail.









Quoting autodidact:


thank you! 






Quoting soonergirl980:

Dear God your clothes cannot say yes for you, your body cannot say yes for you, only your brain and mouth can say yes for you. And if she didn't say yes and is clearly inebriated it IS FORCIBLE RAPE!







Quoting jehosoba84:

 












 I agree. I'm referring to the women who dress baring everything and drink/use drugs among strangers.  They are not usually in a state to say no, but throughout the evening they've been saying "Yes" with their bodies.   I'm not referring to forcible rape.































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