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My daughter had a friend over to play yesterday and to be honest, I don't really like the kid.  They are in first grade, so she is just a little girl, and I feel like a jerk for not being one of those loving moms who treats all the kids like they are her own.

I thought she was bossy, abrasive, and had bad manners.  Of course she is ultimately just a 7 year old, no doubt I am over reacting.

Are you one of those moms that all the kids love, and you love them all, or are you easily irritated by kids?  Do you tell your kid who they should be friends with, or criticize their friends?  How do you handle kids you don't like?  It is obviously more important as they get older and do more stuff with friends outside the home.

Feel free to expound on any issue related to this.  This was only the second friend we have had visit.  I liked the first girl better better but unfortunately my daughter is bffs with the second girl.

by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:40 AM
Replies (81-89):
witchybabymomma
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:12 PM

 I would not criticize my sons friends, but would definately tell him he could not hang out with someone if they caused problems or were involved in things they should not be

Schleetle
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:14 PM
When my sons had friends over to play I told them take their toys to the screen porch, and have at it. Boys (well mine, and their friends) play so darn rough, and loud it just gets annoying.
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jessilin0113
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:19 PM
I don't like most kids, lol. My ds has a couple of neighbor kids that come over that i don't care for but i don't send them home because i get the distinct impression their parents don't care for them either.
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stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:39 PM

Yep, you have to be flexible.  I agree with all that you wrote here.

Quoting MsRkg:

I actually tend to like most of my son's friends. He's almost 9, but I'm teaching him to be kind to everyone and hopefully he will get the same kind of treatment in return. If a kid is an asshole, I don't necessarily hold it against them, but more so against the parents, because they aren't born that way, it's a learned behavior from the adults in their lives.

One of my son's friends is a little jerk, but I blame it on his mother who is a single mom and could care less about raising him properly. I don't stop him from hanging out with my son because I am hoping my son can be a positive influence on him and help him to change his way, and I've seen some improvement in the year or two that he's been hanging around at our house which is all the time. I've worked up a repitore with the mother and she's all to happy to let him spend unlimited times at our house, especially on the weekends. As a result, I've been trying to hopefully encourage positive way in him, without directly "parenting" him or "teaching" him (I hope that makes sense).

I don't think I will ever tell my kid who he can and cannot be best friends with, because when he is out of my sight he's going to do as he wishes, and as a teenager, let's be real it will be kind of impossible,and I also want to teach him that he will always be repsonible for his own choices and decisons. Instead what I try to do is teach him to be around people who will further him and encourage him, rather than hold him back and lead him down the wrong path, and it seems to be working so far. However, that line of thinking can instantly change if I feel it's necessary.


stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:42 PM

I dislike my girls picking up bad habits from friends at school.  My youngest is in pre school and has picked up some stuff I really hate.  It's tough when it is family.

I would never do a playdate util kids are older though, too much like babysitting!

Quoting linaS.83:

I have the same issue but the kid is my son's cousin he is a year older than my son (5.5 y) and he is annoying I know I sound weird now but he uses bad words and he is bossy and it annoys me to see my son mimic every move his cousin does, I keep telling him that this is not right and just because your cousin does something you do not have to do the same especially when it is a bad thing. Honestly I am not proud about how I feel about him and I am trying hard to change my feeling.


stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:44 PM

Yep, there are limits to beig accepting.  

Quoting KenneMaw:

I have an only child and I like it that way.  I don't particulary like all kids, especially those with mean streaks, bad manners, etc...   Although I welcome allof my child's freinds into the house and want them to feel at home, I still expect manners and not treating my house like a crazy playground without rules. 

So far, my daughter has picked good friends.  She has had to put up with some rough neighbor kids and she learned early on that she doesn't have to put up with so called friends treating her poorly.  she can cut them loose and not worry about it.   She has a great sense of self, esp for 11 years old.   If she does develop friendships wth the troubled kids (drinkers, smokers, partiers, etc...) we would be VERY concerned and would probalby try to intervene.


andiemomo3
by Andie on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:55 PM

I don't like all my children's friends.  Some of them are all out rotten kids.  I know that's not the popular way to think.  Some of it has to be how their parents are raising them.  But I've met a few little girls that are just plain mean.  And a few little boys.  I don't tell my children they can't play with them.  But we do talk about the behaviors and what parts are not okay.  I encourage them to find friends that treat them well and that are kind to others.  Not always easy.  I can do my best to mold, teach and encourage.  I can't force them to do, be or be with anyone.

ARPsMom
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:03 PM
Ugh there is a first grader at my DS (5) bus stop that some days I want to punch. Not that I ever will but he has absolutely no manners. He throws chunks of ice at cars, pushes, is bossy, and when I tell my son not to do something (ie don't play on the ice) he tries to get him to do it. He kicks our bushes and trampled through our flowers. Most days I make my son wait on the porch for the bus. Luckily the bus stop is just across the street.
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SEEKEROFSHELLS
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:13 PM

 I lkie my son's friends. There are always boys here. Good students, athletic, and like to eat. " Feed them, and they will come" LOL  

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