Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Okay. You ladies are usually honest, and with the current situations going on and how females are treated... I thought I'd get your take. **eta

Posted by   + Show Post

If a man. Whether it be your father, husband, or SO says the following... How would you quantify the statement or take it? 

"The point being is that she is a typical stupid female trick."


(I am purposely leaving out the details leading up to the comment. I just want to know what that statement says to you, or what it would mean to you, if a man said this to you, about you, or you overheard it. I'll fill in the details later. )

Your honest response is more than appreciated. Thanks. ;-) 


EDIT* okay so it was my father. Yes my own dad. In front of about 20 people I don't know from Adam and some family around a camp fire. He was wasted. I hate him when he is drunk. To me there is still no excuse for saying something so incredibly terrible about your daughter which isn't true, and even if it was? Just awful. 

It was my Aunts b-day. He was trying to get people to tell stories about her. Someone heard me say Jäger which is my dogs name and they thought I like Jaegermeister. I said, no! I learned that lesson in college. It makes me gag. So the guy pressured me to share the story of why I don't drink Jaegermeister with everyone because  MY DAD is the one who wanted to tell stories. 

I explained that in college my dorm had rented out a club for a Halloween party. The bartender told me if I would dance up in the "cat cages" he would give me free drinks. I always danced in the cat cages because EVERYONE knows that is the safest place in a club. If a guy tries to climb up, you can put a heel in his face. On the floor they grab at you. To me that is just smart. Never mind the fact I was a dancer my whole life, and my dad clearly knows that. I was never a "loose" girl. Whatever that means. Why does he make me feel like I am 16 again? 

The bartender gave me a mind eraser, and the jäger bombs. I didn't last long. I had to be taken home and all I remembered was puking Jaegermeister that night. Thus why I don't drink it. 

My dads comment was exactly what I originally stated. In front of all of these people. Worse? I happened to be standing right in the middle because I was putting more wood in the fire, so I was center stage. You should have seen the look on their faces. It was mortifying. So hurtful. What an ass. 

My parents are divorced, but I immediately texted my mom and sister. My mom tried to say maybe he didn't mean it the way it sounded. I think that's bullshit. My sister also agreed it was meant exactly as I took it. 

How would you handle the situation? Clearly I did not handle it this weekend, but it must be addressed. He wonders why I usually opt out of family events? Point.in.case. 

What do you say to someone like that? 

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 5:07 PM
Replies (41-50):
DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:11 PM


No I was fully clothed and he knew that. He knows me very well. It isn't the first time I talked about dancing in the cages. I always told my parents everything. I made it clear that my friends and I chose to dance up there because it was safer. Mind you. This happened 16 years ago. 

Quoting ramita:

I would definitely be avoiding my dad if he said this about me, and if I was around him I would be chewing his ass out. Sounds like he thought it was a bad thing you danced in the cages and that you opted to drink for free when given the chance. As long as you weren't half naked or stripping while dancing I don't see the problem with the cages, but maybe your dad assumed you were...?



DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:12 PM


Edit in OP

Quoting pixie92:

I have to know the conversation cause it could be something truthful. Without knowing what the conversation is i cant form a good opinion.



DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:14 PM


Edit/explanation in OP. 

Quoting jehosoba84:

 Completely understandable if the man who said this to you was someone you love. Like another poster said, none of the men in my life would ever say something like this to any woman. So if it were said to me, it wouldn't be as hurtful as it was for you.   I can't say that the comment wouldn't cut me a bit, but I know deep down that it's not true. You should know that too.

Quoting DestinyHLewis:


I didn't roll my eyes. I was too busy fighting back tears. But I didn't say a word either. Not sure if I should have, or if my non response was better. 

Quoting jehosoba84:

This man has a low opinion of women in general.

If someone said this to/about me, I'd roll my eyes and walk away. It's too absurd to dignify it with a retort.



 



jupiter5
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:15 PM
Wowwww I would straight up say what the fuck is wrong with you and then nothing else until he grovels for forgiveness.


Quoting DestinyHLewis:


Now read the edited OP. 


Quoting jupiter5:

hooker  pulled a fast one on  a stupid horny man.





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ramita
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:17 PM
Well then I guess he doesn't think very highly of you, or women in general. I can't think of any reason why a dad would say that about their daughter.


Quoting DestinyHLewis:


No I was fully clothed and he knew that. He knows me very well. It isn't the first time I talked about dancing in the cages. I always told my parents everything. I made it clear that my friends and I chose to dance up there because it was safer. Mind you. This happened 16 years ago. 


Quoting ramita:

I would definitely be avoiding my dad if he said this about me, and if I was around him I would be chewing his ass out. Sounds like he thought it was a bad thing you danced in the cages and that you opted to drink for free when given the chance. As long as you weren't half naked or stripping while dancing I don't see the problem with the cages, but maybe your dad assumed you were...?





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:20 PM


That is exactly how I feel. My husband just got up and walked away when it happened. I wish he would have beat the shit out of him. Kind of. I know that isn't civilized or mature, but I can't even begin to explain how awful this felt. I know my DH would NEVER talk about our 3 girls in this manner, even if he felt that way. I don't  get it. Why would a father hurt his daughter like that? 

Quoting ramita:

Well then I guess he doesn't think very highly of you, or women in general. I can't think of any reason why a dad would say that about their daughter.


Quoting DestinyHLewis:


No I was fully clothed and he knew that. He knows me very well. It isn't the first time I talked about dancing in the cages. I always told my parents everything. I made it clear that my friends and I chose to dance up there because it was safer. Mind you. This happened 16 years ago. 


Quoting ramita:

I would definitely be avoiding my dad if he said this about me, and if I was around him I would be chewing his ass out. Sounds like he thought it was a bad thing you danced in the cages and that you opted to drink for free when given the chance. As long as you weren't half naked or stripping while dancing I don't see the problem with the cages, but maybe your dad assumed you were...?







jehosoba84
by Jenn on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:21 PM

 What was everyone else's reaction to what he said? Did they rail him for what he said to you?

Idk what your relationship with him is like, but I wouldn't speak to him ever again unless he issued an apology to you and to everyone else who was there.

TCgirlatheart
by TC on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:22 PM

Ugh!  I'm sorry.  ((hugs))  Parents shouldn't talk to, or about, their children like that.  I grew-up around alcoholics, and it is a big reason why, for me, I don't drink around my kids very much.  

I would probably tell him over the phone how hurtful it was for him to talk about me, his daughter, like that.  Also, if that's not the first time he's said something like that, I may make the choice to avoid as many family functions, that included him, as I could and tell him that was why.

~"Dream the dreams of others and you will be no one's rival." ~

DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:27 PM


They just looked stunned and aghast. I just stood up straight (my back was to him at that point) smiled at the other people around the fire I could see and walked away. No one said a word. It was one of those awkward moments when everyone gets quiet and then someone brings up a new subject. The next morning he acted like nothing had ever happened. My relationship with him is odd. Strained I guess. Always has been. No reason in particular, he is just difficult. He gets along okay with my sister, but he and I do not. 

Quoting jehosoba84:

 What was everyone else's reaction to what he said? Did they rail him for what he said to you?

Idk what your relationship with him is like, but I wouldn't speak to him ever again unless he issued an apology to you and to everyone else who was there.



gludwig2000
by Gina on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:28 PM
I can't believe a father would say that about his own daughter! No doubt, he felt embarassed by your story, but that does not give him the right to say something like that, especially with so many family members standing around. If he were hurt or embarrassed by the story, he has the right to tell you, but again, he should never have done it like that. I say that you should forgive him, simply because he is your father and you will not have him around forever. Better to forgive him now rather than feel guilty when he is gone, kwim? But don't forget, don't give him anything else to use against you, and seriously stay away from him when he is drinking. I don't buy that excuse because in my experience, the alcohol just removes the filter in our brains, not replace feelings. I'm sorry that he did that to you. And to me, the fact that he would say something like that about his own daughter tells me that he doesn't have a very high opinion of women.
Quoting DestinyHLewis:


Edit in OP. 

Quoting gludwig2000:

 

"The point being is that she is a typical stupid female trick."

That statement tells me that they have absolutely no respect for the female in question. The word typical thrown in there tells me that they believe and feel that way of most females.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN