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Okay. You ladies are usually honest, and with the current situations going on and how females are treated... I thought I'd get your take. **eta

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If a man. Whether it be your father, husband, or SO says the following... How would you quantify the statement or take it? 

"The point being is that she is a typical stupid female trick."


(I am purposely leaving out the details leading up to the comment. I just want to know what that statement says to you, or what it would mean to you, if a man said this to you, about you, or you overheard it. I'll fill in the details later. )

Your honest response is more than appreciated. Thanks. ;-) 


EDIT* okay so it was my father. Yes my own dad. In front of about 20 people I don't know from Adam and some family around a camp fire. He was wasted. I hate him when he is drunk. To me there is still no excuse for saying something so incredibly terrible about your daughter which isn't true, and even if it was? Just awful. 

It was my Aunts b-day. He was trying to get people to tell stories about her. Someone heard me say Jäger which is my dogs name and they thought I like Jaegermeister. I said, no! I learned that lesson in college. It makes me gag. So the guy pressured me to share the story of why I don't drink Jaegermeister with everyone because  MY DAD is the one who wanted to tell stories. 

I explained that in college my dorm had rented out a club for a Halloween party. The bartender told me if I would dance up in the "cat cages" he would give me free drinks. I always danced in the cat cages because EVERYONE knows that is the safest place in a club. If a guy tries to climb up, you can put a heel in his face. On the floor they grab at you. To me that is just smart. Never mind the fact I was a dancer my whole life, and my dad clearly knows that. I was never a "loose" girl. Whatever that means. Why does he make me feel like I am 16 again? 

The bartender gave me a mind eraser, and the jäger bombs. I didn't last long. I had to be taken home and all I remembered was puking Jaegermeister that night. Thus why I don't drink it. 

My dads comment was exactly what I originally stated. In front of all of these people. Worse? I happened to be standing right in the middle because I was putting more wood in the fire, so I was center stage. You should have seen the look on their faces. It was mortifying. So hurtful. What an ass. 

My parents are divorced, but I immediately texted my mom and sister. My mom tried to say maybe he didn't mean it the way it sounded. I think that's bullshit. My sister also agreed it was meant exactly as I took it. 

How would you handle the situation? Clearly I did not handle it this weekend, but it must be addressed. He wonders why I usually opt out of family events? Point.in.case. 

What do you say to someone like that? 

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 5:07 PM
Replies (81-84):
DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:44 PM


Okay. Fair enough. Lets just say I am not known for my "short winded" stories. Lol it just never occurred to me it was an awful story I shouldn't share. Lesson learned huh? Ugh... 

Quoting canadianmom1974:

Yeah, but you said it was about 20 people you don't know. Why would you tell strangers that story? A simple, 'I got really drunk on it once, got sick and now I don't drink it anymore' would have been more than enough.

Your dad was way out of line, I'd have slugged him myself if it were me and potentially have washed my hands of him completely if that's how he thought of me.


Quoting DestinyHLewis:


You are the second person that has said that about the over share. The problem is? That is how my family has always been. My parents always knew everything. I mean, I didn't go into intimate details of private things, but stuff like this? Yes. I can't imagine why now, 16 years later, it would be an issue. 


Quoting canadianmom1974:

Even with the edit, actually have no idea what the statement means.





"The point being is that she is a typical stupid female trick."



What does that even mean? You are being a trick? You were playing a trick? The whole getting someone to buy or give you drinks is a typical stupid female trick?



Also that was an over share, especially around family. I don't drink lemon gin (shudder), if asked I'd just tell my family that I don't drink it because I got hammered on it when I was 16, and spent the night vomiting lemon gin. My extended family doesn't need to know that it was at a bush party and I passed out on the hood of someone's car and puked down the side of it.






Paperfishies
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:49 PM
I would say he is saying it about a sloppy, trashy, attention whore, the typical "club trash".
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ramita
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:56 PM
I have no answer for you, but I am very sorry that you had to go through that. I can completely understand how you feel about wishing your DH had stood up for you, but I'm guessing your dad probably would have caused more problems since he had been drinking. If I were you I'd do all I could to stay away, and if he ever decides to apologize I'd still do all I could to stay away from him once the drinks come out. I am so sorry you had to deal with this.


Quoting DestinyHLewis:


That is exactly how I feel. My husband just got up and walked away when it happened. I wish he would have beat the shit out of him. Kind of. I know that isn't civilized or mature, but I can't even begin to explain how awful this felt. I know my DH would NEVER talk about our 3 girls in this manner, even if he felt that way. I don't  get it. Why would a father hurt his daughter like that? 


Quoting ramita:

Well then I guess he doesn't think very highly of you, or women in general. I can't think of any reason why a dad would say that about their daughter.





Quoting DestinyHLewis:


No I was fully clothed and he knew that. He knows me very well. It isn't the first time I talked about dancing in the cages. I always told my parents everything. I made it clear that my friends and I chose to dance up there because it was safer. Mind you. This happened 16 years ago. 



Quoting ramita:

I would definitely be avoiding my dad if he said this about me, and if I was around him I would be chewing his ass out. Sounds like he thought it was a bad thing you danced in the cages and that you opted to drink for free when given the chance. As long as you weren't half naked or stripping while dancing I don't see the problem with the cages, but maybe your dad assumed you were...?











Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:14 PM


Yes. That is how I took it. 

Quoting Paperfishies:

I would say he is saying it about a sloppy, trashy, attention whore, the typical "club trash".



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