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Why are you a Parent?and what if you weren't?

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 Did you plan to parent?

Something that you prepared for, plotted, planned and made happen?and after some effort (great or small) it happened and so here you are!

Or was parenthood thrust upon you either through a surprise/unexpected/unplanned pregnancy which when it happened, you stepped forward and so here you are!

But most importantly, what if you COULDN'T (due to infertility issues) to what lengths would you go to become a parent.  When would you stop trying (both physical and financial)? Would you ever stop trying? What would be your limit where you would say- "no, I would never go there!" and accept your state as being a "non-parent" 

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:10 PM
Replies (11-20):
Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:32 PM

 

Quoting Paigesmommy78:

Yes we planed our DD idk I guess we would have done anything and everything we could do so we could become parents we both really wanted children and r ttc number 2 now

 what is "ttc"? I see that term here a lot.

what do you mean by anything and everything? Would you just never stop trying to be a parent? and why the urgency and the drive?

Citygirlk
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:32 PM

Yeah. We actually did a big brother big sister thing before the boys were born. We took a 5year old out of foster care a took care of her until her grandmother and aunt could come to the country to take care of her(her mother was on drugs). It was a great experience, and once the boys get a little older we want to adopt at at least 3 kids (siblings). Foster care is not a best way to grow up going from home to home and all, and all most of them do is end up in the system so we want to adopt as many kids as we can afford.

Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 

Quoting Citygirlk:

No we didn't plan the twins, but if we couldn't have kids it wouldn't bother us that much. But we would most likely adopt. It's something we plan doing anyway, we love kids and I refuse to get fat again lol.

 I'm curious, would you adopt an older, legally free child? 


Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:35 PM

 That';s wonderful! You have made (and will make) a great difference in a child's life!

Quoting Citygirlk:

Yeah. We actually did a big brother big sister thing before the boys were born. We took a 5year old out of foster care a took care of her until her grandmother and aunt could come to the country to take care of her(her mother was on drugs). It was a great experience, and once the boys get a little older we want to adopt at at least 3 kids (siblings). Foster care is not a best way to grow up going from home to home and all, and all most of them do is end up in the system so we want to adopt as many kids as we can afford.

Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 

Quoting Citygirlk:

No we didn't plan the twins, but if we couldn't have kids it wouldn't bother us that much. But we would most likely adopt. It's something we plan doing anyway, we love kids and I refuse to get fat again lol.

 I'm curious, would you adopt an older, legally free child? 


 

luvmyaustin
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:35 PM
I always wanted children
yes we prepared for them
I had infertility after our first thus the spacing between the first and second 10 years
If for some reason children were not in the cards for us being infertility unexplained etc. The furthest we would have gone was IUI and adoption i would have never walked my life without children either biological or adoption.
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MeAndTommyLee
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:37 PM

I did not think about motherhood much as a child.  In fact, I thought it was ridiculous when the girls in my HS ran around with Bride Magazine in their senior year.  I had no intention of being married until I was much older because I could never see myself tied down to children.  I knew what it was like.  One of my brothers in particular was a whopping 14 years younger than me.  I learned everything about caring for babies from my experience both watching my mother and babysitting for him myself.  Therefore, I knew it was a lot of work!

A couple of summers after HS I met my DH at an Italian festival in my city.  We hit it off  immediately.  We were married 3 years later, and by our first anniversary  our DD was born.  My pregnancy was bliss with her.  I felt wonderful, beautiful, blessed and happy.  After she was born, DH and me took to parenthood like moths to fire.  We knew we wanted another as soon as possible.  Son after son was born until we had a `slow' period and I did not get pregnant again till 36 and then 40.  I found my life full and productive with all 7 children.

If I were to not be able to have children, I believe I would have more time to devote to my work with the homeless and mentally ill.  I doubt I would adopt.

Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:39 PM

 

Quoting luvmyaustin:

I always wanted children
yes we prepared for them
I had infertility after our first thus the spacing between the first and second 10 years
If for some reason children were not in the cards for us being infertility unexplained etc. The furthest we would have gone was IUI and adoption i would have never walked my life without children either biological or adoption.

 That's pretty far! Both are quite costly (physically, emotional and financially) ! And neither offers a guarantee!

May I ask, why the urge to "never walk my life without children"?

Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:41 PM

 Wow! SEVEN children?! My hands are full with three!!!!  

Quoting MeAndTommyLee:

I did not think about motherhood much as a child.  In fact, I thought it was ridiculous when the girls in my HS ran around with Bride Magazine in their senior year.  I had no intention of being married until I was much older because I could never see myself tied down to children.  I knew what it was like.  One of my brothers in particular was a whopping 14 years younger than me.  I learned everything about caring for babies from my experience both watching my mother and babysitting for him myself.  Therefore, I knew it was a lot of work!

A couple of summers after HS I met my DH at an Italian festival in my city.  We hit it off  immediately.  We were married 3 years later, and by our first anniversary  our DD was born.  My pregnancy was bliss with her.  I felt wonderful, beautiful, blessed and happy.  After she was born, DH and me took to parenthood like moths to fire.  We knew we wanted another as soon as possible.  Son after son was born until we had a `slow' period and I did not get pregnant again till 36 and then 40.  I found my life full and productive with all 7 children.

If I were to not be able to have children, I believe I would have more time to devote to my work with the homeless and mentally ill.  I doubt I would adopt.

 

Healthystart30
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:43 PM
My first one was definitely not planned! Had her a month after I turned 17. My second one was planned. No I actually didn't plan to parent before I got pregnant, but I was only 16, and at that age nobody should be planning to be a parent lol
If I didn't have kids I would probably be backpacking through Europe or traveling to some exotic place.... or working.

I cant say how far I would go to have children because I just don't know what feelings I might have if I couldn't have any. I have thought about getting my tubes tied, but it honestly makes me a little sad to even think about getting rid of that choice to have more babies, so I can't imagine not having any control over it.
Paigesmommy78
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:43 PM
Ttc means trying to conceive and yes I would just keep trying and never give up and we both really always wanted to have children but there was not really any rash to it it happens when it's ment to happen but would do everything we had to do til we had a child or where just to old to have one like maybe in our mid 60's don't really kno how to answer this never having been in that place

Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 


Quoting Paigesmommy78:

Yes we planed our DD idk I guess we would have done anything and everything we could do so we could become parents we both really wanted children and r ttc number 2 now

 what is "ttc"? I see that term here a lot.


what do you mean by anything and everything? Would you just never stop trying to be a parent? and why the urgency and the drive?

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canadianmom1974
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:44 PM
I always wanted to have kids, from when I was young myself - not that I wanted to be a teen mom, but even as a teen I knew I wanted kids eventually.

If we hadn't been able to have kids the old fashioned way, we'd have adopted. We didn't know much about the process, but it was something we agreed we'd have done. Now, after watching my sis and bil go through the process, I can say we'd have gone through the foster care system, but probably have tried for a younger child, 3 or 4 at oldest.
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