Nancy Pelosi Files for Divorce Claiming Marriage is “Definitely Unconstitutional”
(PP)- Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi will file papers in court Monday to initiate divorce proceedings against her husband Paul Pelosi. The couple was married in 1963, and are just a few months shy of celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
Pelosi, a radical left wing Democrat from California, decided to end her marriage after reading several excerpts from the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) all by herself. Pelosi misunderstood the meaning of the law, and began thinking that she was in violation of the law and started considering filing for divorce.
The House Minority Leader told her lawyers that being married is “definitely unconstitutional.”
“Nancy usually waits until after a bill is passed to find out what is in the bill, but DOMA was signed into law by Bill Clinton so she never did read it until she became a little senile,” said a top Congressional aide. “Usually a junior staff member sits down with her to help define the bigger words in the bills, but she reviewed the paperwork on her own and misunderstood several of the points about the marriage laws.”
DOMA, the 1996 law which bans the federal government from acknowledging the legal marriages of gay and lesbian couples, is back in the news as the Supreme Court prepares for oral arguments in a case challenging its constitutionality.
The Palookaville Post has learned that Paul Pelosi will not oppose the divorce even though his wife obviously does not understand what she is doing. Perhaps he knows something that California Democrats don’t know.
Ace Cub Reporter Jimmy Olsentwins