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Your Easter laugh of the weekend

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:18 PM
  • 18 Replies
1 mom liked this

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/eastereggs.html


Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles?
The Truth About Easter Eggs

(Recommended for Parents of Christian Children ages 4-22) -by Dr. Daniel Cameroon

Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles?  The Truth About Easter Eggs - New Hit Christian Bestseller! List Price: $18.95
Our Price: $27.99
You Save: Nothing. (Only Jesus Saves!)

Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours (if Jesus wants it to) from Landover Baptist Church in Freehold, Iowa:

Summary: Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? is a Bible based book for Christian parents who by lack of faith can't afford to send their children to a decent Christian school.  Their precious youngsters are infected by the secular filth and lies being taught by unsaved teachers in America's public school system.  The book teaches parents how to easily explain to their children that Easter (as it is celebrated by the Unsaved) has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus Christ but is actually a holiday celebrating lewd and sexually explicit pagan rituals of fertility.  "It's not that difficult to understand," says Author/Creation Scientist, Dr. Daniel Cameroon. "In the old days, deluded pagans would gather round and hump like bunnies on Easter Sunday because they thought it would make their tomatoes grow faster."  Dr. Cameroon explains that it doesn't matter what god or idol the Pagans were humping under on Easter Sunday, because any god other than "Jesus" is "Satan."  Dr. Cameroon dedicates four chapters in the book to Easter Eggs.  "Easter Eggs are one of the wiliest tools of the Devil," he says. "Pagan kids didn't have anything to do on Easter Sunday because their mommies and daddies were stuck in a false temple all day, naked and writhing around with their neighbors in Satanic orgies of the flesh.  You see, parents had to come up with a way to occupy their children while they were away from home, praying and fornicating under the altar of Satan.  And since they didn't have babysitters back then, they gave their kids eggs to play with and sometimes paint," he says. "But the reason they chose eggs had nothing to do with any sort of fertility or fertilizers (as some misguided Christian historians would have you believe).  Nope, it was because of Lucifer's testicles! Glory to God!  And I won't say a word more about it!  I don't want to ruin the book for you!"  

Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? (The Truth About Easter Eggs) is a wonderfully informative and well-researched Christian book which consolidates a 2-month Adult Remedial Sunday School series into two-hundred exciting and easy to read pages along with memorable illustrations.  Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? or "PWLT" as the book is now referred to in the Southern Baptist Sunday School Teachers catalogue takes the reader on an unforgettable journey that traces the pagan (Satanic) origins of secular (Satanic) Easter, with a specific focus on the origin of "Easter Eggs." 

Hardcover 1st Edition (April 2009)
Remedial Christian Parenting Series - Picture Learning Book; ISBN: 6624AM7-B6227; Dimensions (in inches): 0.7 x 11.03 x 11.02
landoverbaptizon.com - ZONDERVAN PUBLISHERS CHRISTIAN BOOK OF THE MONTH! - Sales Rank: 1
Avg. Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Number of Reviews: 152,287



by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:18 PM
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talia-mom
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:19 PM

The best part happens to be the reviews

Editorial Reviews
Synopsis
40-Years of research which took renowned Creation Scientist, Dr. Daniel Cameroon, to 2 continents, 4 countries, and 3 states to gather the empirical, Bible-based facts needed to reveal the truth about Easter Eggs to Christian Parents who can not afford his seminars!   "To think this all started when I was 4-years old, painting Easter Eggs with my little sister (God rest her soul) in our kitchen," says Dr. Cameroon.  "And my grandpa came in, saw what we were doing, vomited instinctively onto both of us, kicked little Macel in the head (and sent her straight home to Jesus) and beat the sweet and merciful love of the Lord Jesus Christ into my wretched soul right there on the kitchen floor.  I dedicate this book to you, Grandpa Duncan, and to the Lord Jesus Christ, through whom all things crazy are possible!"

The Devil's Boutique - Goodies For YOU from the Lake of Fire!Dr. Elmer Towns - , March 23, 2009
Biblical Scholar Review: Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? | The Truth About Easter Eggs
"Go out and buy this book before Easter!  Be sure to have two bars of soap and a burlap sack close by after chapter 14!  It helped immensely and I am forever indebted to Pastor Sumner Wemp for advising me beforehand."

Pastor Jon Falwell- , March 25, 2009
Pastor's Review: Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? | The Truth About Easter Eggs
"You will never look at eggs in the same way again.  The shocking truth is so horrifying, and at the same time so completely obvious, I feel like a fool for not seeing it before!  Thank you Dr. Cameroon!  You are at the cutting edge of Creation Research!"

Pastor Deacon Fred- , March 25, 2002
Author's Review: Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? | The Truth About Easter Eggs 
"Dr. Cameroon's book calls us to testify with careful consideration for the fragile unsaved minds that surround us!  The evidence is there, and thank you for traveling to the caves of Kenya to brave the dangerous coloreds in that region!  Daniel's book should be mandatory reading for every Baptist parent in our Christian Nation!  It demands a full cleansing in every home of ALL evidence of Easter eggs, Easter egg paint, and rounded dippers.  I sent two of my grandchildren to the Landover Baptist Memorial Hospital before even reaching Chapter 7, and if you are a True Christian™, who loves the Lord Jesus Christ with all your heart, and who cares about your family, you will do the same!"   

Pastor Helmut Ingra (Former Wiccan High Priest) - , March 27, 2009
Biblical Scholar Review: Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? | The Truth About Easter Eggs
"The most powerful book I've read since I renounced Satan (Wicca) and converted to Christianity.  The Faith based research, Creation Science evidence and Biblical data Dr. Cameroon presents leave no doubt that the Nicaean Council had in its possession the artifacts which prove without a doubt the true origin of Easter eggs.  Shocking Revelation!"

 


Customer Reviews of the Day (what's this?)
Write an online review and share your thoughts with other shoppers!

290 of 258,702 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 stars Absurd! , March 29, 2009
Reviewer: Mrs. Franklin Willow from New Mexico

Christian publishers like Zondervan are publishing this sort of sensationalist bullshit as fact?  I bought this book on pre-order because I am a national critic.  I have read it completely through and it is one of the most disturbing pieces of crap I've ever read in my life!   If you get to page 127, look at the references for the "egg paint-blood" and "red demon tails," these people are insane!  And the author has a $2.5 million home in Leviticus Acres in Freehold, Iowa!  WTF?  I can't believe how many people are being fleeced by this bastard.

Was this review helpful to you?  

59,104 of 59,400 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 stars Finally! The Truth About Easter Eggs!, April 2, 2009
Reviewer: Mr. Thornhill. Fairfax, Virginia
This will be added to the curriculum at Fairfax Christian School starting in the Fall Quarter.  We are doing the Remedial Adult Study Program for our Sunday School classes and it is a big hit.  Thank you for your research and dedication.  I read about your story in Christianity Today Magazine and was so moved by it.  You are a real believer, and going what you went through to get this work completed, being raped by two male Gorillas is both heart wrenching and at the same time, and inspiration to those of us couch Christians who just sit back in our expensive cars that God gave us, just hoping that someone will ask us to share Jesus with them someday!  Let alone the truth about Easter Eggs!   

Was this review helpful to you?  

900 of 759,702 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 stars OMG! LMFAO WTF? , April 4, 2009
Reviewer: Jimmy Walker from Seattle, Washington
Gay bitches!  Lookit!  I'm playing with Satins Nuts!  Dumb Assess! 

59,104 of 59,400 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 stars Mandatory Reading for All Christians!, April 7, 2009
Reviewer: Mrs. Dana Johnston (Proud Homeschooler!). Virginia Beach, Virginia
To explicit to be read to the children outloud, but Peter (my hubsand) and I have benifitted greatly from this ipmortant book! It is easey to get thruough and and egg-cellent read!  ;) LOL!      


NWP
by guerrilla girl on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:14 PM

Good Grief!

talia-mom
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:20 PM

This site is awesome.  It is such a great parody.


My kids are getting plastic Lucifer testicles filled jelly beans and peeps and quarters.


Quoting NWP:

Good Grief!



momtoscott
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:21 PM
1 mom liked this

Uh oh.  I had a Cadbury chocolate egg this morning--did I accidentally blow the Dark Lord? 

smurfbitebug
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:22 PM
"Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? (The Truth About Easter Eggs) is a wonderfully informative and well-researched Christian book "

Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa wooooo heeeheeheeheeheeeheee
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NWP
by guerrilla girl on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:22 PM

LOL.....We have three egg hunts this weekend. Just finished one and about to head to number two. There is also a best dressed dog competition. Our dog is going as an Easter basket full of testicles.

Quoting talia-mom:

This site is awesome.  It is such a great parody.


My kids are getting plastic Lucifer testicles filled jelly beans and peeps and quarters.


Quoting NWP:

Good Grief!




Neon Washable Paint

talia-mom
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:22 PM
1 mom liked this

My God have mercy on your soul.   YOU BRIDE OF SATAN!


Quoting momtoscott:

Uh oh.  I had a Cadbury chocolate egg this morning--did I accidentally blow the Dark Lord? 



Euphoric
by Bazinga! on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:24 PM

rolling on floor 

Quoting momtoscott:

Uh oh.  I had a Cadbury chocolate egg this morning--did I accidentally blow the Dark Lord? 

 

www.cafemom.com/group/116692
..MoonShine..
by Redwood Witch on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:50 PM

I saw this. It makes me LMAO! 

TranquilMind
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 4:24 PM

No playing with testicles here!

Just candy.  Jesus loves candy!

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