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So I'm bored sitting in my doc's waiting room. There is a conversation going on: this woman hasn't seen her grandson since January, and some of the other patients are aghast. They're saying that grandparents should have the same rights as parents, and encouraging her to sue for her rights. This is Kentucky, I'm not even sure that's possible here.

Thoughts on the rights of parents versus grandparents?
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by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:20 PM
Replies (11-20):
parentalrights1
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:37 PM
7 moms liked this
Parents should have the right to limit contact with whomever they deem unfit to be around their children. It's their realonsibility.

We don't get to choose our parents. We shouldn't have to worry that when we choose to have a family that some relative related by accident of birth will have some right to our kids.

If they have rights how do we accomplish getting them to obey our rules? Can't just end a visit or avoid grandmas house for a while if she has rights. They can ignore our rules regarding food and just give kids stuff behind our backs.

Do we have to ask permission to move if grandparents have rights? What if each set lives in a different state? Whose responsibility is it to make visitation happen as far as driving to the kids or driving the kids to the grandparents?

Are we going to make grandparents pay child support?

People are so damn unicorny with this crap. It's gotten ridiculous. People think you are ridiculous for expecting granparents to have a shred of respect for your parenting decisions and rules. People are also scared that they might not have rights to their own future grandkids.

Perfectly fit parents with all the emotional investment in the children should have the day. Not the courts.

There are very few exceptions where I think grandparents should have rights (unfit parents being one) and if the grandparents aren't legally unfit it should still be up to the parents unless the child has an established relationship wih them (like the child has seen them every weekend for 5 years and it would traumatized them to lose the relationship.

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kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Bullshit. The day my parents decide to tell me that they have any rights whatsoever where my children are concerned is the day that they are cut off from my life. The only people with any rights to my children are myself and my husband. If my parents want to see them, they can make the effort to come visit, instead of us having to shell out over a thousand dollars to put us all on a plane to go visit.  They haven't made the effort, so it's been over 2 years since they've been face to face.

Stephanie329
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:39 PM
I agree 100%. We only heard the grandparents side, there could be a very good reason why she hasn't seen her grandson.

Quoting romalove:

Grandparents have no rights to their grandchildren as far as I am concerned, I don't know the individual state law.  If I, as the parent, do not want them visiting with relatives, then they shouldn't be forced to do so.


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parentalrights1
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:39 PM
3 moms liked this
Whenever family is cut out, the parents are ALWAYS accused and believed to be using them as a pawn.

The offending family members never see any faults with themselves.

There are exceptions sure, but usually the grandparents and family members just couldn't comply with certain boundaries and the parents had enough


Quoting furbabymum:

 There are people out there who use their children like pawns in a chess game. My sister is one of them. I think stable grandparents should fight for the right to see their grandkids for the kids benefit. These kids need to know that they are loved and that someone is there when they need them.


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kidlover2
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah.... No. Grandparents should have no rights. Reasonable parents would give the grandparents access if there is no reason not to. My children do NOT have access to their grandparents because they are manipulative, lying, and one of them has known to be physically abusive (ie. spanking the 2 year old with a wooden spoon) and not good for my children's mental, emotional, and or physical health. I should be able to continue to make those decisions.
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carterscutie85
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:40 PM

Personally, I like my state's (Ohio) rules on grandparent rights.

In order to be granted grandparent rights here, you have to prove that:

1) It would be detrimental for the child to NOT see you

AND

2) You have been an active part of that child's life for years.

So it's basically saying that if you had seen Junior regularly for 10 years and he loves you, his Mom can't just take him away one day.

But (and this is my case) if you only see them once in a while and the Mom says you can't take them alone, then there isn't anything you can do about it.

Stephanie329
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:41 PM
Thank you for this info:)

Quoting acrogodess:

These are grandparents rights as listed by Kentucky:



1.

Procedure



In Kentucky, a maternal or paternal grandparent can file for visitation rights if the grandparent is being denied reasonable access to the grandchild. The legal relationship between the child and grandparents has to be documented by birth certificates of the parties involved or other legal proof, and the grandparent must petition the circuit court in the county where the child lives. In order to be awarded these rights, the grandparent has to prove that the visitation would be in the best interests of the child.





2.

Best Interests of the Child



There are many factors a court weighs when determining what is in the best interests of the child. In Kentucky, common issues reviewed by the court include the attitude of the custodial parent toward the grandparent asking for visitation and what type of conflict may be created by awarding these rights. The court also will examine the existing relationship between the grandparent and the grandchild, the child's preference and the mental and physical health of all parties involved.





3.

Reasonable Visitation Rights



Grandparents are generally awarded "reasonable" visitation rights in this state. Reasonable visitation rights are when the visits are scheduled and worked out between the parties involved, rather than a fixed visitation schedule, when the days and times for visits are spelled out in court. If the visitation is insufficient or the grandparents are still being denied reasonable access to the grandchild, the grandparents can return to court to have the visitation modified. In cases where the grandparents live out of state, the visitation scheduled can be modified to include broader stipulations like weekend visits.





4.

Issues



A grandparent's legally established visitation rights are not negatively affected if the parental rights of the son or daughter who is the parent of the grandchild are terminated. If the parent who is the child of the grandparent dies, the grandparent can still file for visitation rights with the grandchild if that grandparent has assumed any child support obligations the deceased parent had. These visitation rights may be more broad than the standard grandparent visitation rights and equal to what a non-custodial parent typically receives in Kentucky. If the visitation is not granted, the grandparent is not legally obligated to continue the child support.





5.

Exemptions



If a child is adopted by someone other than a stepparent, the grandparent's visitation rights are automatically terminated. If a grandparent's child had his or her parental rights to the grandchild terminated due to abandonment, the grandparent can be denied visitation rights if the petition for these rights is not filed within five years of the termination. Grandparents who did not have a relationship with the grandchild before filing for visitation may still receive rights, but the custodial parent can ask that the visits be supervised.





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kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:42 PM
I agree with you 90%. The part I disagree with is where you said that if the parents are unfit, then grandparents should get the rights to the kid. I disagree because the grandparents are the ones who raised the shitty parents... why should they get a second chance? Case in point, my friend's neighbor had custody of their grandchild, because mom (their daughter) was a druggie. As were ALL of her 4 siblings. Same deal with the other side... all of dad's siblings were druggies also. The grandparents raised those kids and they all turned out the same way. Yet they thought they could do better with the grandkid? Yeah, I find that to be completely illogical.
Quoting parentalrights1:

Parents should have the right to limit contact with whomever they deem unfit to be around their children. It's their realonsibility.

We don't get to choose our parents. We shouldn't have to worry that when we choose to have a family that some relative related by accident of birth will have some right to our kids.

If they have rights how do we accomplish getting them to obey our rules? Can't just end a visit or avoid grandmas house for a while if she has rights. They can ignore our rules regarding food and just give kids stuff behind our backs.

Do we have to ask permission to move if grandparents have rights? What if each set lives in a different state? Whose responsibility is it to make visitation happen as far as driving to the kids or driving the kids to the grandparents?

Are we going to make grandparents pay child support?

People are so damn unicorny with this crap. It's gotten ridiculous. People think you are ridiculous for expecting granparents to have a shred of respect for your parenting decisions and rules. People are also scared that they might not have rights to their own future grandkids.

Perfectly fit parents with all the emotional investment in the children should have the day. Not the courts.

There are very few exceptions where I think grandparents should have rights (unfit parents being one) and if the grandparents aren't legally unfit it should still be up to the parents unless the child has an established relationship wih them (like the child has seen them every weekend for 5 years and it would traumatized them to lose the relationship.

babiesbabybaby development

romalove
by Roma on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:43 PM
3 moms liked this


Quoting Stephanie329:

I agree 100%. We only heard the grandparents side, there could be a very good reason why she hasn't seen her grandson.

Quoting romalove:

Grandparents have no rights to their grandchildren as far as I am concerned, I don't know the individual state law.  If I, as the parent, do not want them visiting with relatives, then they shouldn't be forced to do so.


I also think if grandparents have any "rights" then they also must have attendant responsibilities, and should be required to pay something towards the grandchild's upkeep.

parentalrights1
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:44 PM
I've been called anti grandparent for thinking parents have all the say lol XD
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