Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics
So I'm bored sitting in my doc's waiting room. There is a conversation going on: this woman hasn't seen her grandson since January, and some of the other patients are aghast. They're saying that grandparents should have the same rights as parents, and encouraging her to sue for her rights. This is Kentucky, I'm not even sure that's possible here.

Thoughts on the rights of parents versus grandparents?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:20 PM
Replies (31-40):
AllofFive19
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:55 PM
2 moms liked this

While I think that, unless there is a reason to keep kids away, grandparents should see their grandkids as much as possible, I think that a law saying so, is wrong, because it allows grandparents who put on a nice face and have money to expose their grandkids to their toxicity.

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:56 PM
Exactly

Quoting romalove:

Grandparents have no rights to their grandchildren as far as I am concerned, I don't know the individual state law.  If I, as the parent, do not want them visiting with relatives, then they shouldn't be forced to do so.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Stephanie329
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:56 PM
I live in Ohio too, interesting info:)

Quoting carterscutie85:

Personally, I like my state's (Ohio) rules on grandparent rights.

In order to be granted grandparent rights here, you have to prove that:

1) It would be detrimental for the child to NOT see you

AND

2) You have been an active part of that child's life for years.

So it's basically saying that if you had seen Junior regularly for 10 years and he loves you, his Mom can't just take him away one day.

But (and this is my case) if you only see them once in a while and the Mom says you can't take them alone, then there isn't anything you can do about it.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
fireangel5
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:56 PM

I have to say, I like the idea of suing for child support if they can sue for visitation. I bet that would cause a lot of grandparents to think twice. 


Quoting parentalrights1:

Parents should have the right to limit contact with whomever they deem unfit to be around their children. It's their realonsibility.

We don't get to choose our parents. We shouldn't have to worry that when we choose to have a family that some relative related by accident of birth will have some right to our kids.

If they have rights how do we accomplish getting them to obey our rules? Can't just end a visit or avoid grandmas house for a while if she has rights. They can ignore our rules regarding food and just give kids stuff behind our backs.

Do we have to ask permission to move if grandparents have rights? What if each set lives in a different state? Whose responsibility is it to make visitation happen as far as driving to the kids or driving the kids to the grandparents?

Are we going to make grandparents pay child support?

People are so damn unicorny with this crap. It's gotten ridiculous. People think you are ridiculous for expecting granparents to have a shred of respect for your parenting decisions and rules. People are also scared that they might not have rights to their own future grandkids.

Perfectly fit parents with all the emotional investment in the children should have the day. Not the courts.

There are very few exceptions where I think grandparents should have rights (unfit parents being one) and if the grandparents aren't legally unfit it should still be up to the parents unless the child has an established relationship wih them (like the child has seen them every weekend for 5 years and it would traumatized them to lose the relationship.



parentalrights1
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:57 PM
Does he have visitation?


Quoting trachmom312:

In cases like my father in law I believe he should file for visitation of his Grandkids. My brother in law and his girlfriend broke up and now his ex won't let anyone in his family see the kids. My fil and my niece and nephew are really close. He is also an amazing Papa. But now cause she is pissed at my bil she is holding the kids hostage. 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:59 PM
Actually there are.

http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/grandparents-rights/grandparent-rights-united-states


Quoting talia-mom:

There are none.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
parentalrights1
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:03 PM
You wouldn't believe the entitlement of some of them .

Dailystrength.com has a group called "parents of estranged adult children everywhere (peace)"

The victim mentality is mind boggling. Any suggestion that a grandparent could ever possibly be at fault is immediately deleted and the poster banned (even if a general statement or just a statement made about the personal experience of the poster)

There was even a thread where these people were calling to not only force their estranged adult children to spend holidays wih them, but to get ALIMONY from adult children.

Yes. These people believe that children should be legally required to make payments to their parents. One person was ranting about her millionaire daughter and how she should be legally required to share the money.

The amount of support was astounding. It's something you wouldn't think so many would agree with.

Can you imagine paying for both you and your husbands parents? Especially if they divorced and split into two households?


Quoting fireangel5:

I have to say, I like the idea of suing for child support if they can sue for visitation. I bet that would cause a lot of grandparents to think twice. 



Quoting parentalrights1:

Parents should have the right to limit contact with whomever they deem unfit to be around their children. It's their realonsibility.



We don't get to choose our parents. We shouldn't have to worry that when we choose to have a family that some relative related by accident of birth will have some right to our kids.



If they have rights how do we accomplish getting them to obey our rules? Can't just end a visit or avoid grandmas house for a while if she has rights. They can ignore our rules regarding food and just give kids stuff behind our backs.



Do we have to ask permission to move if grandparents have rights? What if each set lives in a different state? Whose responsibility is it to make visitation happen as far as driving to the kids or driving the kids to the grandparents?



Are we going to make grandparents pay child support?



People are so damn unicorny with this crap. It's gotten ridiculous. People think you are ridiculous for expecting granparents to have a shred of respect for your parenting decisions and rules. People are also scared that they might not have rights to their own future grandkids.



Perfectly fit parents with all the emotional investment in the children should have the day. Not the courts.



There are very few exceptions where I think grandparents should have rights (unfit parents being one) and if the grandparents aren't legally unfit it should still be up to the parents unless the child has an established relationship wih them (like the child has seen them every weekend for 5 years and it would traumatized them to lose the relationship.







Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
sstripedmonkey
by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:03 PM
No way should they have rights,it's not their kids, simple as that.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
trachmom312
by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:03 PM

My BIL?? Hell no that would be to much work for him. 

Quoting parehatntalrights1:

Does he have visitation?


Quoting trachmom312:

In cases like my father in law I believe he should file for visitation of his Grandkids. My brother in law and his girlfriend broke up and now his ex won't let anyone in his family see the kids. My fil and my niece and nephew are really close. He is also an amazing Papa. But now cause she is pissed at my bil she is holding the kids hostage. 




mikiemom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I believe the grandparents rights should be determined by the parents. No I don't think grandparents automatically have the right to have a relationship with their grandchildren. If they have fucked up enough as a parent that their child doesn't want them to have contact with their own children they should reflect on that. The only exception could be the case of the death of one parent, the dead bioparents family should be able to have contact with the child unless it is proved unhealthy for the child.

True story, my exh has not spoken to his mother in over 10 years because durring our divorce, she sued for visitation of our child while he was deployed and he testified in court that he didn't want his child visiting her without one of us physically present because she is a heavy drinker and was abusive to him.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN