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I was walking through the store parking lot when I heard a man screaming very loud... I mean loud, I thought there was a fight going on.  I looked over and he was screaming horrible things at this little kid about 7. He called him a "f**cking little p*ssy" and some other stuff I couldn't make out. Walked over to this guy and told him to stop yelling at the kid.  I said, it was too easy for grown man to yell at little boy but what about me.  He didn't even looked at me. I got in my car and called the cops on him, don't know if they found him, he drove off and I lost him after a few blocks.  The little boy looked so upset. I hope I didn't make things worse for him.  Its just so damn hard for me to see that kind of stuff and just walk away, I get angry.  Maybe the guy was just having a bad moment, IDK....

What should I have done? Did I over react?

by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:17 PM
Replies (11-18):
bupkie
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 12:17 PM


Quoting pixie92:

i think you let the guy know he was being a jerk but the cops cant do anything unless the guy is pysically abusing the kid. I think you did what you thought was right and thats all anyone can do, plus it let the kid know others didnt agree with the way the man was actting.

If they suspect the child might be in an abusive home, they can have CPS follow up and check in on him, can't they?


  • Bupkie..... 

  • ~~~ My philosophy on sharing info is that it's just free info (not advice) so please take it or leave it.  If it fits great!  If not, leave it on the ground and dance on it for fun!!! :) ~~~   thank you
pixie92
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:16 PM
They can but if the man only yelled or only yells then there wont be a follow up and even if there is cps cant do anything either unless there are bruises, drugs, dirty home or no food. All cps does is stop by the house see if they can see anything wrong and offer services. If the man says no to services and there is nothing they can see wrong they close the case and leave.


Quoting bupkie:


Quoting pixie92:

i think you let the guy know he was being a jerk but the cops cant do anything unless the guy is pysically abusing the kid. I think you did what you thought was right and thats all anyone can do, plus it let the kid know others didnt agree with the way the man was actting.

If they suspect the child might be in an abusive home, they can have CPS follow up and check in on him, can't they?



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:19 PM

I would have kept my mouth shut but called the police.

I am not about to take a chance of making things worse when some one is acting like that to a child.

I would have tried to take a photo of them with my phone, without the man noticing.  If not, I would have jotted down their descriptions, the make and model of the vehicle and the plate number.  Any and all information I could garner.

I don't know if I would have tried to follow them, had they left prior to the police arriving.  I would have to be in the position to know for sure.  

I don't even know if the police would respond to something like that.

BuckeyezRule
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:20 PM

I applaud you! I think I'd be too afraid to say anything. I heard a guy call his, maybe 12ish yo dd, a 'stupid b****'. I was shocked! Who calls their child such hateful words? :(

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:22 PM

I wanted to add in that if the man had touched the boy in an abusive manner, I would have tried to step in but in a way that would lead the man to think I was there to help him and not the child.  Try not to put the man on the defensive, which could make things worse.

Yelling, while not wise and is abusive, is not always enough of a reason for the police to get involved.  Sadly.

bupkie
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:29 PM

That's true, but you never know what goes on behind closed doors.  If there is that much yelling out in public, things may or may NOT be much worse at home.  But the OP went with her gut instinct, and that might be more than anyone else has done for this child so far.  

 

Quoting pixie92:

They can but if the man only yelled or only yells then there wont be a follow up and even if there is cps cant do anything either unless there are bruises, drugs, dirty home or no food. All cps does is stop by the house see if they can see anything wrong and offer services. If the man says no to services and there is nothing they can see wrong they close the case and leave.


Quoting bupkie:


Quoting pixie92:

i think you let the guy know he was being a jerk but the cops cant do anything unless the guy is pysically abusing the kid. I think you did what you thought was right and thats all anyone can do, plus it let the kid know others didnt agree with the way the man was actting.

If they suspect the child might be in an abusive home, they can have CPS follow up and check in on him, can't they?




  • Bupkie..... 

  • ~~~ My philosophy on sharing info is that it's just free info (not advice) so please take it or leave it.  If it fits great!  If not, leave it on the ground and dance on it for fun!!! :) ~~~   thank you
pixie92
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:56 PM
ive seen many people flip on their kid and have told them they should check themselves cause a lot of the time they are just having a really bad day or cause the kid is really outta control and its better then beating the kid. Never said she shouldnt of done what she did ive actually done more then just say something with the risk of losing my job. I am happy she did what she felt was right just as i do when i feel a kid needs someone on their side. I was just explaining that for yelling unless the cops feel the kid is abused which will only be if the kid has marks or says something, there will be no follow up with cps and nothing they (cops or cps) can do.


Quoting bupkie:

That's true, but you never know what goes on behind closed doors.  If there is that much yelling out in public, things may or may NOT be much worse at home.  But the OP went with her gut instinct, and that might be more than anyone else has done for this child so far.  

 

Quoting pixie92:

They can but if the man only yelled or only yells then there wont be a follow up and even if there is cps cant do anything either unless there are bruises, drugs, dirty home or no food. All cps does is stop by the house see if they can see anything wrong and offer services. If the man says no to services and there is nothing they can see wrong they close the case and leave.





Quoting bupkie:


Quoting pixie92:

i think you let the guy know he was being a jerk but the cops cant do anything unless the guy is pysically abusing the kid. I think you did what you thought was right and thats all anyone can do, plus it let the kid know others didnt agree with the way the man was actting.

If they suspect the child might be in an abusive home, they can have CPS follow up and check in on him, can't they?






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bupkie
by Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:39 PM

you rock  I think that adults should be able to advocate for children anywhere they see physical or emotional abuse.  It's such a difficult thing to see.  As humans we aren't all perfect, and we all make mistakes in one way or another.  But to be able to stop, recognize, and say, "Hey, I was out of line and it wasn't right for me to make you feel that way."  Is something any parent should be able to say to their child as well.  If we can't admit our mistakes to our children, how do we expect them to admit them to us?       




Quoting pixie92:

ive seen many people flip on their kid and have told them they should check themselves cause a lot of the time they are just having a really bad day or cause the kid is really outta control and its better then beating the kid. Never said she shouldnt of done what she did ive actually done more then just say something with the risk of losing my job. I am happy she did what she felt was right just as i do when i feel a kid needs someone on their side. I was just explaining that for yelling unless the cops feel the kid is abused which will only be if the kid has marks or says something, there will be no follow up with cps and nothing they (cops or cps) can do.


Quoting bupkie:

That's true, but you never know what goes on behind closed doors.  If there is that much yelling out in public, things may or may NOT be much worse at home.  But the OP went with her gut instinct, and that might be more than anyone else has done for this child so far.  

 

Quoting pixie92:

They can but if the man only yelled or only yells then there wont be a follow up and even if there is cps cant do anything either unless there are bruises, drugs, dirty home or no food. All cps does is stop by the house see if they can see anything wrong and offer services. If the man says no to services and there is nothing they can see wrong they close the case and leave.





Quoting bupkie:


Quoting pixie92:

i think you let the guy know he was being a jerk but the cops cant do anything unless the guy is pysically abusing the kid. I think you did what you thought was right and thats all anyone can do, plus it let the kid know others didnt agree with the way the man was actting.

If they suspect the child might be in an abusive home, they can have CPS follow up and check in on him, can't they?







  • Bupkie..... 

  • ~~~ My philosophy on sharing info is that it's just free info (not advice) so please take it or leave it.  If it fits great!  If not, leave it on the ground and dance on it for fun!!! :) ~~~   thank you
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