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Yes another same sex marriage post

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:53 PM
  • 53 Replies
1 mom liked this

http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/segment/bridegroom%3A-shane-bitney-crone-tom-bridegroom/515a2b4078c90a510d00056b


I don't know how you can watch this man's story and still say you are against marriage equality.  You must be an icy cold person. And yes I know they could have gotten will. I had a couple friends that had something simliar happen to them and I hear that all the time. But the bottomline is they shouldn't have to jump through hoops to get the same rights I was granted by signing a piece of paper! For me as the mother of a daughter who is a lesbain, this scares me and it makes me sad. 

I don't always like or agree with person people I know choose to marry, but it isn't my decision to make and nobody else should get to decide who my daughter can and can't marry when the time comes. 

(ETA: I decided to change to title because i didn't like the way I worded the orginal)

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:53 PM
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FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:58 PM
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My heart breaks every time I read, or watch, any thing to do with Tom and Shane.

I wish I had more people in my life like these two men.

Sadly, many people claim they love their children and always will but if that child was gay.............doors would be shut on them by their own blood.  


brookiecookie87
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:00 PM

Other rights same sex couples miss out on because of the inequality/hate directed at them:

Right to benefits while married:
employment assistance and transitional services for spouses of members being separated from military service; continued commissary privileges
per diem payment to spouse for federal civil service employees when relocating
Indian Health Service care for spouses of Native Americans (in some circumstances)
sponsor husband/wife for immigration benefits
Larger benefits under some programs if married, including:
veteran's disability
Supplemental Security Income
disability payments for federal employees
Medicaid
property tax exemption for homes of totally disabled veterans
income tax deductions, credits, rates exemption, and estimates
wages of an employee working for one's spouse are exempt from federal unemployment tax[3]
Joint and family-related rights:
joint filing of bankruptcy permitted
joint parenting rights, such as access to children's school records
family visitation rights for the spouse and non-biological children, such as to visit a spouse in a hospital or prison
next-of-kin status for emergency medical decisions or filing wrongful death claims
custodial rights to children, shared property, child support, and alimony after divorce
domestic violence intervention
access to "family only" services, such as reduced rate memberships to clubs & organizations or residency in certain neighborhoods
Preferential hiring for spouses of veterans in government jobs
Tax-free transfer of property between spouses (including on death) and exemption from "due-on-sale" clauses.
Special consideration to spouses of citizens and resident aliens
Threats against spouses of various federal employees is a federal crime
Right to continue living on land purchased from spouse by National Park Service when easement granted to spouse
Court notice of probate proceedings
Domestic violence protection orders
Existing homestead lease continuation of rights
Regulation of condominium sales to owner-occupants exemption
Funeral and bereavement leave
Joint adoption and foster care
Joint tax filing
Insurance licenses, coverage, eligibility, and benefits organization of mutual benefits society
Legal status with stepchildren
Making spousal medical decisions
Spousal non-resident tuition deferential waiver
Permission to make funeral arrangements for a deceased spouse, including burial or cremation
Right of survivorship of custodial trust
Right to change surname upon marriage
Right to enter into prenuptial agreement
Right to inheritance of property
Spousal privilege in court cases (the marital confidences privilege and the spousal testimonial privilege)
For those divorced or widowed, the right to many of ex- or late spouse's benefits, including:
Social Security pension
veteran's pensions, indemnity compensation for service-connected deaths, medical care, and nursing home care, right to burial in veterans' cemeteries, educational assistance, and housing
survivor benefits for federal employees
survivor benefits for spouses of longshoremen, harbor workers, railroad workers
additional benefits to spouses of coal miners who die of black lung disease
$100,000 to spouse of any public safety officer killed in the line of duty
continuation of employer-sponsored health benefits
renewal and termination rights to spouse's copyrights on death of spouse
continued water rights of spouse in some circumstances
payment of wages and workers compensation benefits after worker death
making, revoking, and objecting to post-mortem anatomical gifts

TranquilMind
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:02 PM
1 mom liked this

I saw it a week ago, here I think.

It's making the rounds because it is that extreme situation that causes people to elevate emotion over principle.

His life would have taken no different turn had they been "married".  The partner fell off a roof to his death while working, as I recall. 

The parents of the deceased should have, of course, given him all the funeral information, but they were grieving with the unexpected loss of their son, and they didn't want this guy there, as a reminder of why their son left home in the first place.  I can see this happening in a variety of situations, as in if a young woman ran off with a guy to California, and then tragically died due to an accident.  They wouldn't want him there either.   

No one else DID decide how this young man who died so young would spend his days. 

TranquilMind
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:03 PM

 Actually, statistically...MOST parents come around and accept the situation today. 

What you say might have been true 40 years ago.

 

Quoting FromAtoZ:

My heart breaks every time I read, or watch, any thing to do with Tom and Shane.

I wish I had more people in my life like these two men.

Sadly, many people claim they love their children and always will but if that child was gay.............doors would be shut on them by their own blood.  

 

 

 

jjchick75
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:04 PM
1 mom liked this

That's what happened to my daughters girlfriend. Her parents sent her to therapy and when the therapist told them that there was nothing she could for her, that she is who she is, they kicked her out of their house. They dropped her off at my front door early one morning in the pouring rain and didn't even wait to see if she got in. She was barley 16 at the time. She now lives with her aunt and hasn't seen or talked to her parents since that day. Thankfully her aunt is a very sweet person and completely accepts that she is gay! But I just don't understand how a parent can do that! 


Quoting FromAtoZ:

My heart breaks every time I read, or watch, any thing to do with Tom and Shane.

I wish I had more people in my life like these two men.

Sadly, many people claim they love their children and always will but if that child was gay.............doors would be shut on them by their own blood.  




FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:05 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting TranquilMind:

 Actually, statistically...MOST parents come around and accept the situation today. 

What you say might have been true 40 years ago.


Quoting FromAtoZ:

My heart breaks every time I read, or watch, any thing to do with Tom and Shane.

I wish I had more people in my life like these two men.

Sadly, many people claim they love their children and always will but if that child was gay.............doors would be shut on them by their own blood.  




As long as one parent turns their child away for being who they are, it will always be sad.  I can't fathom being that type of person.

Stats don't mean a thing to that child whose parents are telling them they are wrong, they are no longer their child, etc.


FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:06 PM


Quoting jjchick75:

That's what happened to my daughters girlfriend. Her parents sent her to therapy and when the therapist told them that there was nothing she could for her, that she is who she is, they kicked her out of their house. They dropped her off at my front door early one morning in the pouring rain and didn't even wait to see if she got in. She was barley 16 at the time. She now lives with her aunt and hasn't seen or talked to her parents since that day. Thankfully her aunt is a very sweet person and completely accepts that she is gay! But I just don't understand how a parent can do that! 


Quoting FromAtoZ:

My heart breaks every time I read, or watch, any thing to do with Tom and Shane.

I wish I had more people in my life like these two men.

Sadly, many people claim they love their children and always will but if that child was gay.............doors would be shut on them by their own blood.  




Thank goodness her Aunt is a decent human being.  How heartbreaking for her.  

I will never understand.

terpmama
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this


But if thery were married the husband would have been legally next of kin and therefor responsible for the funeral arrangements and what not. The parents would have no say in if he were there or not.

Quoting TranquilMind:

I saw it a week ago, here I think.

It's making the rounds because it is that extreme situation that causes people to elevate emotion over principle.

His life would have taken no different turn had they been "married".  The partner fell off a roof to his death while working, as I recall. 

The parents of the deceased should have, of course, given him all the funeral information, but they were grieving with the unexpected loss of their son, and they didn't want this guy there, as a reminder of why their son left home in the first place.  I can see this happening in a variety of situations, as in if a young woman ran off with a guy to California, and then tragically died due to an accident.  They wouldn't want him there either.   

No one else DID decide how this young man who died so young would spend his days. 



delilahsmom1177
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:09 PM

I agree and I hope and pray every night people like some of my best friends and your DD can one day marry whomever they love. I hope and pray one day my DD will not hear words like faggot screamed at people for whom the love and people actually think it's OK. I hope and pray one day being gay will be like being a blonde or something just as insignificant. Your sexual orientation is yours and yours alone and it should be EVERYONE'S right to marry and love whomever they choose.

I'm a tattooed,pagan,pro-choice,pro-legalizing marijuana,pro-gay marriage,anti-war,non-vaxing,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,depression battling, trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is but still teaching her important life lessons,fighting for equal rights at the same time,don't like it get over it.

Peanutx3
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:10 PM

Thank you for saying what I was struggling to find the right words.  

Quoting terpmama:


But if thery were married the husband would have been legally next of kin and therefor responsible for the funeral arrangements and what not. The parents would have no say in if he were there or not.

Quoting TranquilMind:

I saw it a week ago, here I think.

It's making the rounds because it is that extreme situation that causes people to elevate emotion over principle.

His life would have taken no different turn had they been "married".  The partner fell off a roof to his death while working, as I recall. 

The parents of the deceased should have, of course, given him all the funeral information, but they were grieving with the unexpected loss of their son, and they didn't want this guy there, as a reminder of why their son left home in the first place.  I can see this happening in a variety of situations, as in if a young woman ran off with a guy to California, and then tragically died due to an accident.  They wouldn't want him there either.   

No one else DID decide how this young man who died so young would spend his days. 





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