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Yes another same sex marriage post

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I don't know how you can watch this man's story and still say you are against marriage equality.  You must be an icy cold person. And yes I know they could have gotten will. I had a couple friends that had something simliar happen to them and I hear that all the time. But the bottomline is they shouldn't have to jump through hoops to get the same rights I was granted by signing a piece of paper! For me as the mother of a daughter who is a lesbain, this scares me and it makes me sad. 

I don't always like or agree with person people I know choose to marry, but it isn't my decision to make and nobody else should get to decide who my daughter can and can't marry when the time comes. 

(ETA: I decided to change to title because i didn't like the way I worded the orginal)

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:53 PM
Replies (51-53):
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:52 PM

 How do you know any of that? Because the guy who posted the video said so?  I'd like to hear from the parents themselves. 

Quoting chloedee:

And neither do you. Going by what we know, they chose to reject their son and did not accept that he was gay. You didn't answer: short of pretending not to be gay or never finding a partner, what could he have done to make them happy?

To act as though two men who had a life together: as house, a dog, a business, a sexual relationship, a romantic relationship, a friendship and a desire to be married were roommates or "some guys" is a seriously ridiculous denial of fact.

Quoting TranquilMind:

 You don't know any of this about his family.  You don't know their motivations and you don't know how things had progressed over time.  Again, I'd love to hear their side of it. 

No, my husband isn't "some guy" because as God has ordained, we are joined together as husband and wife until death do us part.   We aren't shacking up.  We aren't inappropriate partners.  We are legitimately married. 

Let a man leave his mother and father and find a wife  and the two shall become one. 


Quoting chloedee:

"Some guy" being his partner and best friend? Do you refer to your husband as "some guy"?

His family didn't accept that he was gay, so short of sitting around and never finding a romantic partner, what choice could he have made that would placate them? They made the choice to alienate and reject him, and thus missed out on the final years of his life because of their cruel actions. They then chose to punish his partner, who would not have been treated that way had they been able to marry.

Quoting TranquilMind:

 And he chose to sever his family from his life and move across the country to be with some guy.  Each made choices that might have been rectified had he lived longer.  But no one got that opportunity. 

Quoting chloedee:

His family didn't get those based on their inability to accept their son and his partner. Their own fault.

If Tom and Shane had been able to marry, as they wished to, there would have been no need for him to miss the funeral because he would have been in charge as the next of kin.

Quoting TranquilMind:

 Those would be illegal.  If he actually received death threats, he should have reported them to the police. 

He missed the funeral.  He got the last days and years of the man's life, which his family didn't get. 


Quoting lizzielouaf:

Death threats for attending a funeral tend to discourage most people from showing up.


Quoting TranquilMind:

 True, but how does that change how any part of their lives happened, or the young man's death?  It doesn't. 

The parents actually could not have kept him outside of the funeral, I'm thinking, if he showed up. 



Quoting terpmama:


But if thery were married the husband would have been legally next of kin and therefor responsible for the funeral arrangements and what not. The parents would have no say in if he were there or not.

Quoting TranquilMind:

I saw it a week ago, here I think.

It's making the rounds because it is that extreme situation that causes people to elevate emotion over principle.

His life would have taken no different turn had they been "married".  The partner fell off a roof to his death while working, as I recall. 

The parents of the deceased should have, of course, given him all the funeral information, but they were grieving with the unexpected loss of their son, and they didn't want this guy there, as a reminder of why their son left home in the first place.  I can see this happening in a variety of situations, as in if a young woman ran off with a guy to California, and then tragically died due to an accident.  They wouldn't want him there either.   

No one else DID decide how this young man who died so young would spend his days. 
















by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:50 PM

Oh yes kids are supposed to do everything they can to fit into their parents perfect little boxes, even if that means they aren't happy! They must not do anything their parents don't approve of for fear of losing their love and acceptance! 

I am so very glad my parents weren't this way and loved me as I was and I'm glad they set the example for me to love my daughter in the same way. I would hate to think my daughter(or any of my kids) might be missing out on amazing oppurtunities in life because he/she was trying to please me and keep my love. I would hate to be so shallow that I couldn't just love my kid, because he or she was my kid and apart of me because of something as small as his or her sexuality. 

Quoting LoveMyBoyK:

So Tranquil, was he supposed to bear false witness and just pretend to be straight, denying the truth of his life?

by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:32 AM


Quoting FromAtoZ:

Quoting Billiejeens:


I hope that you simply copy and paste that each time, otherwise that would be a lot of typing for 5% of the population simply born with a defective gene.

Quoting brookiecookie87:

Other rights same sex couples miss out on because of the inequality/hate directed at them:

Right to benefits while married:
employment assistance and transitional services for spouses of members being separated from military service; continued commissary privileges
per diem payment to spouse for federal civil service employees when relocating
Indian Health Service care for spouses of Native Americans (in some circumstances)
sponsor husband/wife for immigration benefits
Larger benefits under some programs if married, including:
veteran's disability
Supplemental Security Income
disability payments for federal employees
property tax exemption for homes of totally disabled veterans
income tax deductions, credits, rates exemption, and estimates
wages of an employee working for one's spouse are exempt from federal unemployment tax[3]
Joint and family-related rights:
joint filing of bankruptcy permitted
joint parenting rights, such as access to children's school records
family visitation rights for the spouse and non-biological children, such as to visit a spouse in a hospital or prison
next-of-kin status for emergency medical decisions or filing wrongful death claims
custodial rights to children, shared property, child support, and alimony after divorce
domestic violence intervention
access to "family only" services, such as reduced rate memberships to clubs & organizations or residency in certain neighborhoods
Preferential hiring for spouses of veterans in government jobs
Tax-free transfer of property between spouses (including on death) and exemption from "due-on-sale" clauses.
Special consideration to spouses of citizens and resident aliens
Threats against spouses of various federal employees is a federal crime
Right to continue living on land purchased from spouse by National Park Service when easement granted to spouse
Court notice of probate proceedings
Domestic violence protection orders
Existing homestead lease continuation of rights
Regulation of condominium sales to owner-occupants exemption
Funeral and bereavement leave
Joint adoption and foster care
Joint tax filing
Insurance licenses, coverage, eligibility, and benefits organization of mutual benefits society
Legal status with stepchildren
Making spousal medical decisions
Spousal non-resident tuition deferential waiver
Permission to make funeral arrangements for a deceased spouse, including burial or cremation
Right of survivorship of custodial trust
Right to change surname upon marriage
Right to enter into prenuptial agreement
Right to inheritance of property
Spousal privilege in court cases (the marital confidences privilege and the spousal testimonial privilege)
For those divorced or widowed, the right to many of ex- or late spouse's benefits, including:
Social Security pension
veteran's pensions, indemnity compensation for service-connected deaths, medical care, and nursing home care, right to burial in veterans' cemeteries, educational assistance, and housing
survivor benefits for federal employees
survivor benefits for spouses of longshoremen, harbor workers, railroad workers
additional benefits to spouses of coal miners who die of black lung disease
$100,000 to spouse of any public safety officer killed in the line of duty
continuation of employer-sponsored health benefits
renewal and termination rights to spouse's copyrights on death of spouse
continued water rights of spouse in some circumstances
payment of wages and workers compensation benefits after worker death
making, revoking, and objecting to post-mortem anatomical gifts



You truly are not this ignorant, are you?

Every time I think I see a glimmer of intelligence come from you, you tend to follow it up with statements such as this one.

In what way?


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