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Man arrested at Burger King for having it his way on the sidewalk

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:03 PM
  • 12 Replies

 

Matthew Paul Emmett: Man accused of exposing himself at Burger King, defecating on sidewalk

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Booze-smelling Matthew Paul Emmett, 35, was found lying in the grass, a couple of Four Lokos by him, the affidavit states.

 
 

Posted: 9:30 AM
Last Updated: 2 hours and 19 minutes ago

A man accused of partially exposing himself at Burger King and who may have pooped on the sidewalk was jailed following a potentially stinky situation, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

Investigators about 7:30 p.m. March 20 went to a Burger King in Sebastian in the 9100 block of Sebastian Boulevard after a report of a man "exposing himself to customers and stumbling through the parking lot," an affidavit states.

Booze-smelling Matthew Paul Emmett, 35, was found lying in the grass, a couple of Four Lokos by him, the affidavit states.

One person told Sebastian police a man was partially exposing himself through the window of Burger King, which is home of the Whopper (630 calories/35 grams fat), Double Whopper (830 calories/50 grams fat) and Triple Whopper (1,020 calories/64 grams fat) burgers, according to the affidavit and the Burger King website.

"Several other customers exited the restaurant and stated they thought the defendant was defecating on the sidewalk," the affidavit states.

Defecating in public generally is frowned upon.

At least one person, however, made it part of his performance. Extreme rocker G.G. Allin was known for violent and shocking rock concerts. Allin, who died in 1993 of an overdose, "frequently took laxatives before shows in order to defecate on the stage, after which he generally ate his own feces or threw them at the audience," according to an MSN.com biography .

Meanwhile, the affidavit didn't state whether toilet paper was involved or whether Emmett was able to have it his way.

Emmett, of the 1500 block of Schooner Lane in Sebastian, was arrested on a misdemeanor disorderly intoxication charge.



Read more: http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/region_indian_river_county/sebastian/matthew-paul-emmett-man-accused-of-exposing-himself-at-burger-king-defecating-on-sidewalk#ixzz2PzE1iwxX

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mipsy
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:10 PM
Ok, they really had to add in the article and agfadavit that burjer king is home of the whopper etc?! Seriously?!
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Mipsy
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:12 PM
This article is just so stupid IMO.
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talia-mom
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:12 PM

what is the point of the calorie count?


Is his dump bigger because he had a triple whopper 10 hours ago?

pamelax3
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:13 PM

nothing surprises me anymore

romalove
by Roma on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:23 PM

And in other news, people continue to be insane.

rfurlongg
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 6:08 PM
Eww.
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x_Starr_x
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 6:10 PM
well when your drink and think your shitting on a toliet lol
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fireangel5
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 6:23 PM

Ewww, I should have listened to my gut and not opened this post lol. 

IhaveHisjoy
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 6:28 PM

 Yup..this

Quoting fireangel5:

Ewww, I should have listened to my gut and not opened this post lol. 

 

"Our society strives to avoid any possibility of offending anyone- except God"...Billy Graham
AdrianneHill
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 6:32 PM
What is a four loko? Malt liquor? Crazy four juice?
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