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I am DISGUSTED with this church. Update in Black update 2 in blue

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A couple of detectives came and talked to Amy's parents. They said they were dropping charges due to victors age and the fact that no physical harm was caused. So I guess the ass whoopin was the only punishment he received...

Later one of the girls in the group started pressuring Amy to go back to the church. R. has a crush who goes there and she didn't want to attend alone. And the other girls didin't want to miss out on the beach trip. A secret plan was made for everyone to go back except my DD because "we all know her mom would never let her go." Damn straight! All of the girls except dd did go back a few times.

I was also messaged on FB by a couple of members. They said they missed seeing my kids in church. After I explained why they were never going back, I was told that I wasn't being fair. The church had nothing to do with the incident happening, they were only responsible for the poor boy's salvation. Then I was asked nicely to stop trying to persuade the other girls from attending. I took a lot of self control but I managed to end the conversation without making and terrorist threats...

Victor's step dad came to Amy's house yesterday. Her step dad and his are friends from way back. Victor's dad asked, "So, did he get it in there?" A-Dad, "No." V-Dad "Well then what's the big deal?" "We can just drop this shit now." A-dad "No we can't drop this shit!" "He tried to Rape my daughter." "Get the fuck outta here!"     Later Victors mom shows up and talks to Amy and her mom. V-mom "Look I know what he did was wrong." "If you drop the charges I'll beat his ass right here in front of you." A-mom "Do you really think a spanking is going to fix this?"

As some of you know, I've been having problems with this church for some time. I've allowed my daughter to go only because she begged me and her friends are there. But last night was the last straw...

It started a couple days ago. DD and a few friends (all 13)were hanging out in front. When I came out I noticed one of the girls Amy was crying and the side of her face was pink and puffy. No one would tell me what happened. After she left I got the story.

Victor *Quick background* He's a bad boy from the neighborhood. He's rude and disruptive, swears, gets high in the bathrooms, verbally abuses other kids including my dd and has a habit of horse playing to the point of pain, all while in bible study! I've asked numerous times for him to be expelled but I was told Church was a place for sinners. He needs to be there.

Amy said after church on Sunday she was walking to her friends house when she ran into Victor. He asked her for money, she said no so her hit her in the face. Then him and 4 of his friends made her come to his house. Once inside they dragged her to a bedroom. While a boy held the door shut from the outside
 the other ones groped her. Victor climbed on top of her and pulled down his pants then tried to unbutton hers. He felt her up and said she couldn't leave until she sucked all of them. Then he said they should just murder her so she wouldn't tell. She fought and cried the whole time and was finally let go.

Amy was afraid and refused to tell her mom. (The families are friends) But I convinced her to talk to the pastor on Wednesday. Yesterday we all went down to the church. She told him everything, he called the police and her mom and a report was made. After, I was told that Victor would be expelled from church NEVER allowed back.

8 oclock that night, I'm on my way to pick dd up when I see Amy sprinting towards me from the church parking lot. Guess who showed up for bible study? Victor. The moment he walked into the room the teacher gave him a big hug and said we're soo glad to have you back! Here sweetie, have a candy. Then she proceeded to sit him right next to Amy. Amy bolted from the room and threw up in the bathroom. She waited in the hall for the other girls until after church was over.

To top it off, the pastor and his wife came and talked to her. Pastor said he strongly recommends she not press charges. The church can handle the investigation. And she better be certain of the events because if she's lying, she'll be the one in Juvie. And really, is it worth ruining this poor boys life over an argument? (They got the boys side of the story and were going with that)

I was LIVID!!! I marched up to the church and saw the pastors wife. She smiled sweetly at me and asked what the problem was. I responded, I don't like the fact that you allowed attempted rapists at your church, that's what. The crowd went silent. She gave me a sour look and said that's something that needs to be kept private.

The pastor walked up and took me aside and gave me his explanation. You see, it was her word against 5 boys. No one really knows what happened in that room if anything. Church is a place for salvation. She was given a choice to leave when Victor showed up. And really, you have to wonder why she chose to stay, hmmm? I told him that he disgusted me, his entire church disgusted me and my children would NEVER set foot on these grounds again. I turned, left and never looked back.

Update: Last night she got a call from Victor. The police were arresting one of other the boys. He begged her to recant. He didn't want to go to jail. He was sorry. Amy hung up and blocked his number.

by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM
Replies (31-40):
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:36 PM

OMG! GET A RESTRAINING ORDER! Please have her family get a restraining order. What the church did was DISGUSTING but typical because churches refuse to acknowledge rape - many placing the blame on the female. Five against one? So if the Pastor's wife was held in a room with five men holding her down as one tried to rape her it's then their word against her's right? I HATE people like that.

by AllieCat on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Why didn't Amy go to her parents right away?  The fact she did not is bothersome.  I don't care if the families are friends.  She should have felt safe enough to go to her own parents right away.

I would keep your daughter away from this church.  

Let the authorities deal with this.

by Kelly on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:46 PM
3 moms liked this

Where are Amy's parents?  What are they doing about this?

by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 i am shaking! i am so angy! i liked this because you did what was right and those boys are where they deserve to be! church maybe the right place for sinners, but not in the youth groups. so glad you stood up for this girl!

by AllieCat on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:54 PM

Has the school been notified about what happened?

by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:22 PM
2 moms liked this

Not following, did the sexual incident happen at church?  If not why didn't you contact the police on your own, since you are the person Amy confided in? 

by AllieCat on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:27 PM
2 moms liked this

Quoting 12hellokitty:

Not following, did the sexual incident happen at church?  If not why didn't you contact the police on your own, since you are the person Amy confided in? 

I hear you.  While I think the way this church handled this is wrong, on many levels, I would not have gone to the church with some thing like this.  I would have been at the parent's door and/or the authorities.

by guerrilla girl on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:29 PM
2 moms liked this

I am hoping that all the attention paid to this kind of behavior in the media currently will help girls like Amy come forward. It seems more people are willing to listen right now than in the past.

by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Omg :-(
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Runt on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I think Amy's parents need to look into charges against the church.  I am not a litigious person but if they knew what they were doing in sitting him by Amy, they are harassing her.  I am sickened by this.  I am a Christian and if my church EVER behaved in such a way, I would not hesitate to kick them to the curb. 

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