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I am DISGUSTED with this church. Update in Black update 2 in blue

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A couple of detectives came and talked to Amy's parents. They said they were dropping charges due to victors age and the fact that no physical harm was caused. So I guess the ass whoopin was the only punishment he received...

Later one of the girls in the group started pressuring Amy to go back to the church. R. has a crush who goes there and she didn't want to attend alone. And the other girls didin't want to miss out on the beach trip. A secret plan was made for everyone to go back except my DD because "we all know her mom would never let her go." Damn straight! All of the girls except dd did go back a few times.

I was also messaged on FB by a couple of members. They said they missed seeing my kids in church. After I explained why they were never going back, I was told that I wasn't being fair. The church had nothing to do with the incident happening, they were only responsible for the poor boy's salvation. Then I was asked nicely to stop trying to persuade the other girls from attending. I took a lot of self control but I managed to end the conversation without making and terrorist threats...

Victor's step dad came to Amy's house yesterday. Her step dad and his are friends from way back. Victor's dad asked, "So, did he get it in there?" A-Dad, "No." V-Dad "Well then what's the big deal?" "We can just drop this shit now." A-dad "No we can't drop this shit!" "He tried to Rape my daughter." "Get the fuck outta here!"     Later Victors mom shows up and talks to Amy and her mom. V-mom "Look I know what he did was wrong." "If you drop the charges I'll beat his ass right here in front of you." A-mom "Do you really think a spanking is going to fix this?"

As some of you know, I've been having problems with this church for some time. I've allowed my daughter to go only because she begged me and her friends are there. But last night was the last straw...

It started a couple days ago. DD and a few friends (all 13)were hanging out in front. When I came out I noticed one of the girls Amy was crying and the side of her face was pink and puffy. No one would tell me what happened. After she left I got the story.

Victor *Quick background* He's a bad boy from the neighborhood. He's rude and disruptive, swears, gets high in the bathrooms, verbally abuses other kids including my dd and has a habit of horse playing to the point of pain, all while in bible study! I've asked numerous times for him to be expelled but I was told Church was a place for sinners. He needs to be there.

Amy said after church on Sunday she was walking to her friends house when she ran into Victor. He asked her for money, she said no so her hit her in the face. Then him and 4 of his friends made her come to his house. Once inside they dragged her to a bedroom. While a boy held the door shut from the outside
 the other ones groped her. Victor climbed on top of her and pulled down his pants then tried to unbutton hers. He felt her up and said she couldn't leave until she sucked all of them. Then he said they should just murder her so she wouldn't tell. She fought and cried the whole time and was finally let go.

Amy was afraid and refused to tell her mom. (The families are friends) But I convinced her to talk to the pastor on Wednesday. Yesterday we all went down to the church. She told him everything, he called the police and her mom and a report was made. After, I was told that Victor would be expelled from church NEVER allowed back.

8 oclock that night, I'm on my way to pick dd up when I see Amy sprinting towards me from the church parking lot. Guess who showed up for bible study? Victor. The moment he walked into the room the teacher gave him a big hug and said we're soo glad to have you back! Here sweetie, have a candy. Then she proceeded to sit him right next to Amy. Amy bolted from the room and threw up in the bathroom. She waited in the hall for the other girls until after church was over.

To top it off, the pastor and his wife came and talked to her. Pastor said he strongly recommends she not press charges. The church can handle the investigation. And she better be certain of the events because if she's lying, she'll be the one in Juvie. And really, is it worth ruining this poor boys life over an argument? (They got the boys side of the story and were going with that)

I was LIVID!!! I marched up to the church and saw the pastors wife. She smiled sweetly at me and asked what the problem was. I responded, I don't like the fact that you allowed attempted rapists at your church, that's what. The crowd went silent. She gave me a sour look and said that's something that needs to be kept private.

The pastor walked up and took me aside and gave me his explanation. You see, it was her word against 5 boys. No one really knows what happened in that room if anything. Church is a place for salvation. She was given a choice to leave when Victor showed up. And really, you have to wonder why she chose to stay, hmmm? I told him that he disgusted me, his entire church disgusted me and my children would NEVER set foot on these grounds again. I turned, left and never looked back.

Update: Last night she got a call from Victor. The police were arresting one of other the boys. He begged her to recant. He didn't want to go to jail. He was sorry. Amy hung up and blocked his number.

by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM
Replies (11-20):
..MoonShine..
by Redwood Witch on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this

OMGs...this makes me ill. Positively ill. I just...I don't even really know what to say here. I hope they throw that kid's ass in jail and I hope everyone in the church and community is alerted to the despicable (and disgusting) actions of this pastor. 

Good for you for acting. 

Sekirei
by Nari Trickster on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:03 PM

Holy Hell

thank you for being there for that little girl and what the hell is wrong with that church???? 

I hope every single one of those boys are punished and I hope something is done about the church. 

TheStepMonster
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:04 PM

This.

My SD was bullied/attacked by 3 boys at my church during a special event.  It was handled VASTLY different.  

OP - I am sorry that your DD's friend is going through this.  Hopefully, through counseling and family counseling they can find a new church.  It's not the church's place to replace the investigators, it's their DUTY to assist in the investigation any way they can.

Quoting disneymom2two:

Hopefully you do realize that not all churches are fucked up like that.  That's like saying they're all like the WBC.  Sweeping generalizations.  

I hope the girl presses charges and gets some therapy after what she's been through.  


Quoting Aamy:

Wow. And this is why I don't like churches. Glad you helped her. Hope she presses charges on all of the boys. 




grey ribbon

During the month of May, I wear my gray for Brain Cancer Awareness in memory of my momma (BM).  She fought her battle from May, 1988 - October, 1998.  Love and miss you much.

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:04 PM

Original sin, is that why they took the boys side??

I hope she does too. But I know the pressure she'll be feeling to recant in the coming weeks :-(

Quoting survivorinohio:

In some peoples minds we will never get passed the whole original sin thing:(  I am so sorry you had to deal with anyof this and I hope Amy stands strong and those boys are punished.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

jhslove
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:04 PM
5 moms liked this

Do you realize that churches are mandated reporters, just like public schools? I work for a church, although not a Christian one, and if I had reason to believe that a child had been sexually abused and failed to report it to the proper authorities, I would be breaking the law and open to prosecution. If I actually tried to intimidate the child out of going to the police, as it appears the pastor did, I and the church would be open to a whole world of trouble. It doesn't matter if she recants later or not. If at any point a church staff member believes a child has been abused, and does not report it to the police, he or she is breaking the law.

Were there any other witnesses to any of these conversations? I strongly suggest that the parents look into legal action against the church--what they did was not only wrong but illegal. And if I were you, I'd probably be writing an op-ed in the paper to get as many people as possible clued in as to what's going on there.

Toxic.Stardust
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Holy shit O.O

"her word against 5 boys" well of course they're going to say she's lying wtf?

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:06 PM

I'd like to but because she's not my daughter, I don't know if it's really my place.

Quoting JakeandEmmasMom:

 I would go to the media.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

mommysangelface
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:08 PM
Go to the media anon

Quoting paganbaby:

I'd like to but because she's not my daughter, I don't know if it's really my place.

Quoting JakeandEmmasMom:

 I would go to the media.


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Proud2BWeird
by Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:08 PM
1 mom liked this
Do those idiots really expect a group of attempted rapists admit to their transgressions, and submit to punishment? I hope they all are tried and found guilty!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
survivorinohio
by René on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:13 PM
Maybe, a lot of Christians treat girls much different than boys. Boys are trusted and given more privilege and responsibility. My mother was one of these. It was always the girls fault. It stems from the belief in original sin IMO and experience. NOT ALL CHRISTIANS FEEL THIS WAY. just saying that loud :)
Quoting paganbaby:

Original sin, is that why they took the boys side??

I hope she does too. But I know the pressure she'll be feeling to recant in the coming weeks :-(

Quoting survivorinohio:

In some peoples minds we will never get passed the whole original sin thing:(  I am so sorry you had to deal with anyof this and I hope Amy stands strong and those boys are punished.


How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


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