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I am DISGUSTED with this church. Update in Black update 2 in blue

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A couple of detectives came and talked to Amy's parents. They said they were dropping charges due to victors age and the fact that no physical harm was caused. So I guess the ass whoopin was the only punishment he received...

Later one of the girls in the group started pressuring Amy to go back to the church. R. has a crush who goes there and she didn't want to attend alone. And the other girls didin't want to miss out on the beach trip. A secret plan was made for everyone to go back except my DD because "we all know her mom would never let her go." Damn straight! All of the girls except dd did go back a few times.

I was also messaged on FB by a couple of members. They said they missed seeing my kids in church. After I explained why they were never going back, I was told that I wasn't being fair. The church had nothing to do with the incident happening, they were only responsible for the poor boy's salvation. Then I was asked nicely to stop trying to persuade the other girls from attending. I took a lot of self control but I managed to end the conversation without making and terrorist threats...

Victor's step dad came to Amy's house yesterday. Her step dad and his are friends from way back. Victor's dad asked, "So, did he get it in there?" A-Dad, "No." V-Dad "Well then what's the big deal?" "We can just drop this shit now." A-dad "No we can't drop this shit!" "He tried to Rape my daughter." "Get the fuck outta here!"     Later Victors mom shows up and talks to Amy and her mom. V-mom "Look I know what he did was wrong." "If you drop the charges I'll beat his ass right here in front of you." A-mom "Do you really think a spanking is going to fix this?"

As some of you know, I've been having problems with this church for some time. I've allowed my daughter to go only because she begged me and her friends are there. But last night was the last straw...

It started a couple days ago. DD and a few friends (all 13)were hanging out in front. When I came out I noticed one of the girls Amy was crying and the side of her face was pink and puffy. No one would tell me what happened. After she left I got the story.

Victor *Quick background* He's a bad boy from the neighborhood. He's rude and disruptive, swears, gets high in the bathrooms, verbally abuses other kids including my dd and has a habit of horse playing to the point of pain, all while in bible study! I've asked numerous times for him to be expelled but I was told Church was a place for sinners. He needs to be there.

Amy said after church on Sunday she was walking to her friends house when she ran into Victor. He asked her for money, she said no so her hit her in the face. Then him and 4 of his friends made her come to his house. Once inside they dragged her to a bedroom. While a boy held the door shut from the outside
 the other ones groped her. Victor climbed on top of her and pulled down his pants then tried to unbutton hers. He felt her up and said she couldn't leave until she sucked all of them. Then he said they should just murder her so she wouldn't tell. She fought and cried the whole time and was finally let go.

Amy was afraid and refused to tell her mom. (The families are friends) But I convinced her to talk to the pastor on Wednesday. Yesterday we all went down to the church. She told him everything, he called the police and her mom and a report was made. After, I was told that Victor would be expelled from church NEVER allowed back.

8 oclock that night, I'm on my way to pick dd up when I see Amy sprinting towards me from the church parking lot. Guess who showed up for bible study? Victor. The moment he walked into the room the teacher gave him a big hug and said we're soo glad to have you back! Here sweetie, have a candy. Then she proceeded to sit him right next to Amy. Amy bolted from the room and threw up in the bathroom. She waited in the hall for the other girls until after church was over.

To top it off, the pastor and his wife came and talked to her. Pastor said he strongly recommends she not press charges. The church can handle the investigation. And she better be certain of the events because if she's lying, she'll be the one in Juvie. And really, is it worth ruining this poor boys life over an argument? (They got the boys side of the story and were going with that)

I was LIVID!!! I marched up to the church and saw the pastors wife. She smiled sweetly at me and asked what the problem was. I responded, I don't like the fact that you allowed attempted rapists at your church, that's what. The crowd went silent. She gave me a sour look and said that's something that needs to be kept private.

The pastor walked up and took me aside and gave me his explanation. You see, it was her word against 5 boys. No one really knows what happened in that room if anything. Church is a place for salvation. She was given a choice to leave when Victor showed up. And really, you have to wonder why she chose to stay, hmmm? I told him that he disgusted me, his entire church disgusted me and my children would NEVER set foot on these grounds again. I turned, left and never looked back.

Update: Last night she got a call from Victor. The police were arresting one of other the boys. He begged her to recant. He didn't want to go to jail. He was sorry. Amy hung up and blocked his number.

by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM
Replies (41-50):
FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:55 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting TimetoMomUp:

I think Amy's parents need to look into charges against the church.  I am not a litigious person but if they knew what they were doing in sitting him by Amy, they are harassing her.  I am sickened by this.  I am a Christian and if my church EVER behaved in such a way, I would not hesitate to kick them to the curb. 

I may agree but I also hope that this does not end up being completely centered around the church and what the boys did, and the fact that Amy did not feel safe enough to go to her parents first, is lost in all of this.

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:01 PM

OMG please tell me you are going to the media about this.  And the police.

To top it off, the pastor and his wife came and talked to her. Pastor said he strongly recommends she not press charges. The church can handle the investigation. And she better be certain of the events because if she's lying, she'll be the one in Juvie. And really, is it worth ruining this poor boys life over an argument? (They got the boys side of the story and were going with that)

viv212
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:14 PM
Really?

Quoting JakeandEmmasMom:

 I would go to the media.

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viv212
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:19 PM
Ugh this makes me sick too.
I've never heard of a church "expelling" anyone though. It is a place for all which totally sucks in this situation because Amy is the innocent party here. Church should be a safe zone for her. I cannot believe the church is making excuses for the boys behavior.
And I am sooo glad Amy is being strong. Funny how a "witch" has more common sense the pastor and is handling the situation better than the church.
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TimetoMomUp
by Runt on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree, I do not think the boys should be lost in their part, because they were clearly the source.  I just believe that as adults in that church, they should not have  re-victimized the victim and it was a serious offense.  I cannot imagine forcing a girl in the same room as her attacker (especially since the incident had been reported to the church and police).

ashellbell
by shellbark on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:27 PM
What those boys did is atrocious and deserve to be punished by the law. Right now it is hearsay though and the church isn't in the wrong. There's no restraining order on the boy and it is his word against hers. It sucks but that's the truth.
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etsmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:32 PM

One church is not all churches, however that church has some sick elders.

Eta- I wonder how he would have handled the situation if it had been his daughter's word agains't 5 boys.  I truly hate the "good ole boys" mentality when it comes to some elders. I could hear the conversation now.  Well boys will be boys. I am sure they mean't no harm.

Justifying or dismissing attempted rape is disgusting!

Speak Softly and Sweetly; Later You May Have To Eat Your Own Words
smurfbitebug
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:42 PM
I feel sick to my stomach. I'm so glad you are an advocate for those kids. And a vociferous one. Such a good example for both Amy and your daughter. I'm just so glad they have you right now after reading this.
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Clairwil
by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 3:08 PM
Quoting paganbaby:

To top it off, the pastor and his wife came and talked to her. Pastor said he strongly recommends she not press charges. The church can handle the investigation. And she better be certain of the events because if she's lying, she'll be the one in Juvie. And really, is it worth ruining this poor boys life over an argument? (They got the boys side of the story and were going with that)

Precisely what happened in the Catholic churches.

Disgusting.

cjsbmom
by Lois Lane on Apr. 18, 2013 at 3:12 PM

Um, this sounds like a cult, not a church. Please encourage that girl and her parents to continue with the charges. And I'd be sure to mention the adult members of the church knew what was going on and actively tried to get her to drop the charges. What they did was against the law in some states. 

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