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Online Bullying

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:14 PM
  • 109 Replies
I know we've had this discussion multiple times but a recently deleted thread brought the topic back up.

Plus, we have some new faces so I'm curious: what (in your mind) constitutes bullying, especially here on Cafemom?
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by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
candlegal
by Judy on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:22 PM
1 mom liked this
so what post got deleted this time?
survivorinohio
by René on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:23 PM
6 moms liked this

I dont know, good question.  There are some ladies here I definitely think bully on a regular basis.  Some of them are embraced and others are shunned.  Some run in cliques and others are loners.

I wouldnt really take anything seriously unless there were direct threats and show of knowledge about me or mine.  Thats too far.

survivorinohio
by René on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:23 PM
2 moms liked this

And damn if I didnt miss it again. lol

ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:27 PM
6 moms liked this
I think people are way too sensitive and the term "bullying" is vastly over used.

I don't think anything here constitutes bullying until someone crosses the line and starts to take things into the real world. No one needs to be looking up anyone here's personal info, like their home address and phone number. No one needs to stalk people's other social media accounts or follow them around to other message board type websites and trash talk them there.

Perhaps not in this group, but in others, there have been cases of people real life stalking other members, whether it be one person or groups of people that do it. They try to ruin people's lives. To me, that's bullying. Leave the disagreements here.
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ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:31 PM
3 moms liked this
Someone here once told me they hoped my child died so that I knew the pain of loss. I've also been told by someone here that they hoped I was in an accident and paralyzed or permanently disabled so I knew how it felt. I've been threatened with bodily harm. I don't take any of that personally, but I do think that it is in extremely poor taste to bring someone's kids into any CM debate.

I don't consider any of that bullying, just shitty examples of humanity.


Quoting survivorinohio:

I dont know, good question.  There are some ladies here I definitely think bully on a regular basis.  Some of them are embraced and others are shunned.  Some run in cliques and others are loners.

I wouldnt really take anything seriously unless there were direct threats and show of knowledge about me or mine.  Thats too far.

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diospira
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:32 PM
2 moms liked this


I think flooding a post with images that ridicule the OP is a form of bullying and a way to avoid exploring issues that may cause discomfort and also to discourage that type of questioning.

Any labeling like that is a way to not to go deeper and actually try to explore what the OP has to say. Like the thought police.






If you expect a nation to be ignorant and free

punky3175
by Punky on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:32 PM
Katy did a spin off with the video titled 'reality check.' I can bump it for you if you'd like. It could be a very interesting discussion in the context it's now been put.

Quoting candlegal:

so what post got deleted this time?
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katy_kay08
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:34 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree with you.  I personally think the term is overused to mean "anyone that didn't blow sunshine up my ass in a post".  I think it's a hot potato that can be lobbed at someone to derail a discussion and put the accused on the defensive but 9 times out of 10 the situation is no where near "bullying".  

I have seen real bullying on this site.  There are definitely crazy women here that will take things to crazy limits but generally it's not being done in posts, at least not in this group.  

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I think people are way too sensitive and the term "bullying" is vastly over used.

I don't think anything here constitutes bullying until someone crosses the line and starts to take things into the real world. No one needs to be looking up anyone here's personal info, like their home address and phone number. No one needs to stalk people's other social media accounts or follow them around to other message board type websites and trash talk them there.

Perhaps not in this group, but in others, there have been cases of people real life stalking other members, whether it be one person or groups of people that do it. They try to ruin people's lives. To me, that's bullying. Leave the disagreements here.


punky3175
by Punky on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:35 PM
2 moms liked this
The pictures were not 'ridiculing the OP.' and I have no problems discussing that video but the OP didn't actually pose any discussion topics. She simply posted it as fact and when I read conspiracy theories like that I immediately think 'tin foil' hat so I gave her a wide variety to choose from.

And IMO if that's all it takes for someone to feel bullied - they really should grow a thicker skin because much worse happens in real life.


Quoting diospira:


I think flooding a post with images that ridicule the OP is a form of bullying and a way to avoid exploring issues that may cause discomfort and also to discourage that type of questioning.

Any labeling like that is a way to not to go deeper and actually try to explore what the OP has to say. Like the thought police.






If you expect a nation to be ignorant and free

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survivorinohio
by René on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:39 PM
I wouldnt disagree but often it seems that these things are said to people again and again, thats bullying. In another group a long departed member returned one day. Another member called her a fatty in one debate, then it happened again and again. Once was a shitty choice twice was getting to be harassment but after an afternoon of it I would call that bullying. The long absent member went absent again. Im sorry people say those things at all but I agree its not bullying unless it continues.
Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Someone here once told me they hoped my child died so that I knew the pain of loss. I've also been told by someone here that they hoped I was in an accident and paralyzed or permanently disabled so I knew how it felt. I've been threatened with bodily harm. I don't take any of that personally, but I do think that it is in extremely poor taste to bring someone's kids into any CM debate.

I don't consider any of that bullying, just shitty examples of humanity.


Quoting survivorinohio:

I dont know, good question.  There are some ladies here I definitely think bully on a regular basis.  Some of them are embraced and others are shunned.  Some run in cliques and others are loners.

I wouldnt really take anything seriously unless there were direct threats and show of knowledge about me or mine.  Thats too far.

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


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