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I know we've had this discussion multiple times but a recently deleted thread brought the topic back up.

Plus, we have some new faces so I'm curious: what (in your mind) constitutes bullying, especially here on Cafemom?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:14 PM
Replies (11-20):
futureshock
by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:14 PM

I don't consider anything done here on Cafemom to be bullying since we are all here voluntarily.  No one has to read anything from any poster unless they want to.

However, work and school are different because people have to go to them (yes people can change jobs but that is difficult).

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:15 PM


Quoting survivorinohio:

And damn if I didnt miss it again. lol

Me too!!!

rfurlongg
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:20 PM


Quoting survivorinohio:

I dont know, good question.  There are some ladies here I definitely think bully on a regular basis.  Some of them are embraced and others are shunned.  Some run in cliques and others are loners.

I wouldnt really take anything seriously unless there were direct threats and show of knowledge about me or mine.  Thats too far.

Well said and I agree. I do my best to simply avoid those moms; the loners and the clicky ones. I find them incredibly destructive.

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:20 PM

Ok after more thought and reading other replies I am changing my mind regarding my first post (above) on this subject.  I think there is online bullying in forums such as this.

An example would be when people continually ridicule a poster about something that poster said or did in threads besides the current thread they are in.

kaylasmom22
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:25 PM
I think lots of people use the word bullying without thinking. Having a difference of opinion and finding that mom in every post you go its not bullying. Finding that mom in front of your home arguing with you is. Anything someone takes from here and continues it in real life is bullying / stalking.But at the same time there are moms here who like to annoy others for fun,not knowing what others are capable off. Then they cry bullying or stalking
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Stephanie329
by Platinum Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:25 PM
I'm not sure. If it affected my life in a detrimental way, maybe that is bullying? I haven't really had anyone impact my life negatively on this site. I've been confused by things that happen, it's crazy sometimes.

I've felt the need to defend others that were IMO, being bullied.

To me, it's just difficult to feel bullied by an online stranger.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
greenie63
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:01 PM

Maybe, and I think it's the post that was about the Boston Marathon and the FBI knowing before it happened. Honestly it upset me that already someone is thinking "conspiracy" and it bothers me. Especially since there are people suffering from either losing a loved one or are suffering from their injuries. 

Which is why I posted the cute cats. Bullying isn't a nice thing and is wrong in any way it's done, specifically with impressionable children. 

This is a group however known for discussing the current events and topics. hence it's name, and for those debating it and often, well maybe always, not agreeing. 


futureshock
by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:05 PM


Quoting survivorinohio:

I wouldnt disagree but often it seems that these things are said to people again and again, thats bullying. In another group a long departed member returned one day. Another member called her a fatty in one debate, then it happened again and again. Once was a shitty choice twice was getting to be harassment but after an afternoon of it I would call that bullying. The long absent member went absent again. Im sorry people say those things at all but I agree its not bullying unless it continues.
Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Someone here once told me they hoped my child died so that I knew the pain of loss. I've also been told by someone here that they hoped I was in an accident and paralyzed or permanently disabled so I knew how it felt. I've been threatened with bodily harm. I don't take any of that personally, but I do think that it is in extremely poor taste to bring someone's kids into any CM debate.

I don't consider any of that bullying, just shitty examples of humanity.


Quoting survivorinohio:

I dont know, good question.  There are some ladies here I definitely think bully on a regular basis.  Some of them are embraced and others are shunned.  Some run in cliques and others are loners.

I wouldnt really take anything seriously unless there were direct threats and show of knowledge about me or mine.  Thats too far.

I agree.  A rude comment is a rude comment, not bullying.  This is an essential component of bullying:

these things are said to people again and again, thats bullying.

romalove
by Roma on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:06 PM
2 moms liked this

I think people have trouble discerning between discussion, debate, and bullying.

Disagreeing is not bullying.


futureshock
by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:10 PM
3 moms liked this


Quoting romalove:

I think people have trouble discerning between discussion, debate, and bullying.

Disagreeing is not bullying.


Exactly.  Disagreeing even when it occurs between the same people frequently is not bullying.

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