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I know we've had this discussion multiple times but a recently deleted thread brought the topic back up.

Plus, we have some new faces so I'm curious: what (in your mind) constitutes bullying, especially here on Cafemom?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:14 PM
Replies (31-40):
diospira
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 3:22 PM




Thinking I "need a tin-foil hat" is your opinion, asking me if I want a tin-foil hat is not.


I was discussing the "deleted thread" in the OP, not another. Unpleasant and deflective much?


The thought police, as I said.


Quoting punky3175:

Check the other post about the same video where a real discussion topic was posted. I answered. Would you like your own tin foil hat? I have plenty saved for occasions such as this. And yes, I do, in fact believe that anyone who thinks any government agency in the US would allow/endorse/plan such a horrendous act needs a tin foil hat. <----FYI - this isn't bullying. It's me stating my opinion.

Quoting diospira:



Quoting punky3175:

The pictures were not 'ridiculing the OP.' and I have no problems discussing that video but the OP didn't actually pose any discussion topics. She simply posted it as fact and when I read conspiracy theories like that I immediately think 'tin foil' hat so I gave her a wide variety to choose from.



And IMO if that's all it takes for someone to feel bullied - they really should grow a thicker skin because much worse happens in real life.




Quoting diospira:


I think flooding a post with images that ridicule the OP is a form of bullying and a way to avoid exploring issues that may cause discomfort and also to discourage that type of questioning.

Any labeling like that is a way to not to go deeper and actually try to explore what the OP has to say. Like the thought police.






If you expect a nation to be ignorant and free


The video posted did contain facts about the FBI´s foreknowledge of the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center and its obvious failure to prevent it.

What you say OP "posted as a fact" was a fact.

Tapes were secretly recorded by an informant that proved as much, as the NY Times reported:

Tapes Depict Proposal to Thwart Bomb Used in Trade Center Blast

By RALPH BLUMENTHAL
Published: October 28, 1993

Correction Appended

Law-enforcement officials were told that terrorists were building a bomb that was eventually used to blow up the World Trade Center, and they planned to thwart the plotters by secretly substituting harmless powder for the explosives, an informer said after the blast.

The informer was to have helped the plotters build the bomb and supply the fake powder, but the plan was called off by an F.B.I. supervisor who had other ideas about how the informer, Emad A. Salem, should be used, the informer said.

The account, which is given in the transcript of hundreds of hours of tape recordings Mr. Salem secretly made of his talks with law-enforcement agents, portrays the authorities as in a far better position than previously known to foil the Feb. 26 bombing of New York City's tallest towers. The explosion left six people dead, more than 1,000 injured and damages in excess of half a billion dollars. Four men are now on trial in Manhattan Federal Court in that attack.



No matter what year it was published in, as some suggested, this is an important fact put forth that many of us might not have been aware of.

Since we have this proof about these past FBI actions, it is not beyond the realm of possibility in this case, especially since there were some glaring holes in security despite the fact that eyewitnesses described a security drill that was taking place at the same time and also described bomb-sniffing dogs and bomb spotters on the roofs.


All that can be gleaned from video to do what we may with, but instead engaging in discourse regarding the OP, multiple images were posted that can only be interpreted as poking fun at the so-called "conspiracy theorists". Here you use "conspiracy theory" to refer to a fact about recent history, the FBI´s proven foreknowledge about the WTC bombing.


The OP asked: "Did The FBI Know About The Boston Bombing Beforehand?,a perfectly good discussion topic, given the facts presented. Maybe an uncomfortable one, so it was easier to instead "immediately think tin-foil hat" instead of contemplating the information and answering the question at hand.







punky3175
by Punky on Apr. 18, 2013 at 3:31 PM
I asked because I thought you needed one. See where that's an opinion? I have no desire to control what anyone else thinks.

'Unplasant and deflective' - yep. That's me alright. *eye roll*


Quoting diospira:




Thinking I "need a tin-foil hat" is your opinion, asking me if I want a tin-foil hat is not.


I was discussing the "deleted thread" in the OP, not another. Unpleasant and deflective much?


The thought police, as I said.



Quoting punky3175:

Check the other post about the same video where a real discussion topic was posted. I answered. Would you like your own tin foil hat? I have plenty saved for occasions such as this. And yes, I do, in fact believe that anyone who thinks any government agency in the US would allow/endorse/plan such a horrendous act needs a tin foil hat. <----FYI - this isn't bullying. It's me stating my opinion.



Quoting diospira:




Quoting punky3175:

The pictures were not 'ridiculing the OP.' and I have no problems discussing that video but the OP didn't actually pose any discussion topics. She simply posted it as fact and when I read conspiracy theories like that I immediately think 'tin foil' hat so I gave her a wide variety to choose from.





And IMO if that's all it takes for someone to feel bullied - they really should grow a thicker skin because much worse happens in real life.






Quoting diospira:


I think flooding a post with images that ridicule the OP is a form of bullying and a way to avoid exploring issues that may cause discomfort and also to discourage that type of questioning.

Any labeling like that is a way to not to go deeper and actually try to explore what the OP has to say. Like the thought police.






If you expect a nation to be ignorant and free


The video posted did contain facts about the FBI´s foreknowledge of the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center and its obvious failure to prevent it.

What you say OP "posted as a fact" was a fact.

Tapes were secretly recorded by an informant that proved as much, as the NY Times reported:

Tapes Depict Proposal to Thwart Bomb Used in Trade Center Blast

By RALPH BLUMENTHAL
Published: October 28, 1993

Correction Appended

Law-enforcement officials were told that terrorists were building a bomb that was eventually used to blow up the World Trade Center, and they planned to thwart the plotters by secretly substituting harmless powder for the explosives, an informer said after the blast.

The informer was to have helped the plotters build the bomb and supply the fake powder, but the plan was called off by an F.B.I. supervisor who had other ideas about how the informer, Emad A. Salem, should be used, the informer said.

The account, which is given in the transcript of hundreds of hours of tape recordings Mr. Salem secretly made of his talks with law-enforcement agents, portrays the authorities as in a far better position than previously known to foil the Feb. 26 bombing of New York City's tallest towers. The explosion left six people dead, more than 1,000 injured and damages in excess of half a billion dollars. Four men are now on trial in Manhattan Federal Court in that attack.



No matter what year it was published in, as some suggested, this is an important fact put forth that many of us might not have been aware of.

Since we have this proof about these past FBI actions, it is not beyond the realm of possibility in this case, especially since there were some glaring holes in security despite the fact that eyewitnesses described a security drill that was taking place at the same time and also described bomb-sniffing dogs and bomb spotters on the roofs.


All that can be gleaned from video to do what we may with, but instead engaging in discourse regarding the OP, multiple images were posted that can only be interpreted as poking fun at the so-called "conspiracy theorists". Here you use "conspiracy theory" to refer to a fact about recent history, the FBI´s proven foreknowledge about the WTC bombing.


The OP asked: "Did The FBI Know About The Boston Bombing Beforehand?,a perfectly good discussion topic, given the facts presented. Maybe an uncomfortable one, so it was easier to instead "immediately think tin-foil hat" instead of contemplating the information and answering the question at hand.









Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
tscritch
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 3:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 I do think there is bullying on CM. It isn't frequent but it does exist. I think when someone makes it personal, not related to the topic and/or attacks the other person repeatedly in the same or carries it on to another thread they very well could be trying to bully the other person. Trying to tear someone down for believing different or having a different opinion can very much be considered bullying.(IMO)

With that though, I do think the word is thrown around way to much. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't make them a bully. 

tooptimistic
by Kelly on Apr. 18, 2013 at 4:13 PM


I agree.  There are a few moms who are mean, just to be mean.  


Quoting tscritch:

 I do think there is bullying on CM. It isn't frequent but it does exist. I think when someone makes it personal, not related to the topic and/or attacks the other person repeatedly in the same or carries it on to another thread they very well could be trying to bully the other person. Trying to tear someone down for believing different or having a different opinion can very much be considered bullying.(IMO)

With that though, I do think the word is thrown around way to much. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't make them a bully. 



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Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 5:09 PM
2 moms liked this
Nothing said to me in here makes me feel bullied. However, I take issue with people I do not know inboxing me nasty messages because of a debate or argument on here. That to me makes me feel invaded and/or harassed. It makes it personal. This is how it makes me feel right or wrong.

I think a few people on here have a bully mentality but I expect it and ignore it
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
i.m.r.
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 5:13 PM
I've seen some pretty hardcore bullying on this site. Women getting personal information (facebook, work numbers, creating websites calling them whores etc.) and using them to intentionally hurt another member. That is online bullying IMO. In this group specifically debates can get pretty heated, but for the most part I don't think there is a lot of bullying. I didn't see the post you are speaking of though.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
punky3175
by Punky on Apr. 18, 2013 at 5:15 PM
I was also thinking of you when I posted this. It's happened to me as well (private messages) but, like you, I didn't feel 'bullied' - just annoyed and amused that people took it that seriously.

Quoting Debmomto2girls:

Nothing said to me in here makes me feel bullied. However, I take issue with people I do not know inboxing me nasty messages because of a debate or argument on here. That to me makes me feel invaded and/or harassed. It makes it personal. This is how it makes me feel right or wrong.



I think a few people on here have a bully mentality but I expect it and ignore it
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
punky3175
by Punky on Apr. 18, 2013 at 5:18 PM
I agree - crossing from here to personal life is definitely a bullying type behavior. I was called a bully for posting multiple images of tin foil hats in a thread that screamed 'conspiracy theory.' Over the too? Probably. Immature? Yeah. Unnecessary? Yeah. But bullying? That's a stretch to me.

Quoting i.m.r.:

I've seen some pretty hardcore bullying on this site. Women getting personal information (facebook, work numbers, creating websites calling them whores etc.) and using them to intentionally hurt another member. That is online bullying IMO. In this group specifically debates can get pretty heated, but for the most part I don't think there is a lot of bullying. I didn't see the post you are speaking of though.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 5:22 PM
Yes, more annoying tha anything. It makes it personal to me. I would rather people argue with me on an open forum than in private.

Quoting punky3175:

I was also thinking of you when I posted this. It's happened to me as well (private messages) but, like you, I didn't feel 'bullied' - just annoyed and amused that people took it that seriously.



Quoting Debmomto2girls:

Nothing said to me in here makes me feel bullied. However, I take issue with people I do not know inboxing me nasty messages because of a debate or argument on here. That to me makes me feel invaded and/or harassed. It makes it personal. This is how it makes me feel right or wrong.





I think a few people on here have a bully mentality but I expect it and ignore it
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 5:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Bullying really has to cross a line into intentionally ganging up on a person to make them leave, or taking it into real life (stalking and such.)

I really don't expect everyone to agree with me or be nice all the time.  I never felt "bullied," that would imply I felt threatened or intimidated, which  I never have.  But people have been rude, for sure.

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