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A Christian Dad on Judgmental Christians

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:53 PM
  • 62 Replies

This blog really hit home with me.  I've been guilty of the same type of judgmental attitudes that I've complained about in Christians.  Here is a Christian Dad's words on judgment and the not so good outcomes (the bolded portions are what struck me as particularly insightful):



In setting standards for our family, each of us must work through a process of evaluation and analysis to decide what is safe, wise, or permissible. Once we become convinced of our personal standards, not uncommonly, it follows that we believe they should apply to others as well.

The Pharisees belittled others who didn't hold to their standards. We have gone their way when we judge others. It is easy to miss this area of pride because we may not express our judgments "arrogantly"; we may instead wrap them in compassionate-sounding words. Arrogance wrapped in concerned tones is deceiving.

Pride is so deceptive that we won't know our judgments are even judgments. We will think we are just making observations and feeling pity, when in fact, we are looking down on others from our lofty place of confident enlightenment. It is a high view of ourselves that allows us to condescend to and belittle others in our mind. And if you already knew all this, be careful - pride will even cause us to be amazed that others didn't see what was so obvious to us.

Typically, when we belittle others who don't measure up to our standards, we will also imagine others are judging us. Consequently, we will find ourselves frequently being defensive. We assume that others will think lowly of us for some perceived inadequacy, so we offer unsolicited explanations and clarifications for us or our children. For example, let's say we walked past a TV at Sears and saw something of interest - when we tell others what we saw, we are careful to clarify that we saw it at Sears and weren't watching a TV at home. If we live under fear of judgment, not only will we tend to be on the defensive, but whenever we are in a public setting where our children might be "watched," we will put pressure on them.

When pride is working its work in us, we sincerely believe our personal opinions reflect God's utmost priorities and standards. What we believe to be our "enlightened" perspective becomes a filter by which we gauge others' spirituality, and therefore limits our options for fellowship. We develop a very narrow definition of what we call "likeminded" people, based on the outworkings of our values and opinions. Now we are on a path to exclusivity when we will no longer associate with those who will be with us in eternity. Is it possible we have lost sight of fellowship based on love and devotion to Jesus, and have substituted personal standards and a narrow view of Christian liberty?

There are several serious consequences of raising children in a home marked by pride and judgment. Children may grow up also judging others. Or, they may hide their real values, acting as though they embrace our values, when, in fact, they are simply seeking to avoid discipline and lectures at home. Or, they may see the shallowness of our legalistic faith that consists primarily of "avoid this, wear that, attend this," and not be attracted to it in the least.


http://www.joshharris.com/2011/09/homeschool_blindspots.php

I would love to hear thoughts from all religions/areligious perspectives on this.  I think what this man has to say can be applied to a broad number of situations.


by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:53 PM
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parentalrights1
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:17 PM
I was pondering the issue of judgement earlier.

I know one issue is sexuality. People have been taught to view nudity and sexuality as dirty and taboo. Others who don't feel that way feel judged by those that do. Then they get defensive and may lash back out at others who practice abstinence because they feel judged by them. Then the abstinent individual feels like they are being judged for not being sexually active.

I probably just confused everyone
talia-mom
by Gold Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:24 PM
2 moms liked this
I would love to see an article from an atheist on hyper judgmental atheists.

And don't even tell me they don't exist because you see them on this board.


I don't judge people on religion. I judge on if they are going to cost me tax dollars.
tambrathegreat
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:31 PM
3 moms liked this

You can't tell me what you think of this article?  Please, lay off the whinge and just talk about the article.  Oh, and this guy wasn't talking in the framework of a Christian judging the world, he was talking about Christians judging other Christians. 

How is it that I, a Pagan, got something out of it and you didn't?  Oh, other than to deflect and start talking about atheists, which I'm not, btw.


I'm ready to throw up my hands in disgust at your comment.

Quoting talia-mom:

I would love to see an article from an atheist on hyper judgmental atheists.

And don't even tell me they don't exist because you see them on this board.


I don't judge people on religion. I judge on if they are going to cost me tax dollars.


talia-mom
by Gold Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:35 PM
I commented on what I wanted to comment on. I have nevet had a problem telling Christians to stop doing what they are doing.

I would like to see more respect from many of the atheists on this board. I don't insult what they believe but too bad they can't be the same.

Throw your hands up. I don't care. The hyper judgmental atheists never start threads about how stupid or wrong it is to be Pagan.

Quoting tambrathegreat:You can't tell me what you think of this article?  Please, lay off the whinge and just talk about the article.  Oh, and this guy wasn't talking in the framework of a Christian judging the world, he was talking about Christians judging other Christians.  How is it that I, a Pagan, got something out of it and you didn't?  Oh, other than to deflect and start talking about atheists, which I'm not, btw.I'm ready to throw up my hands in disgust at your comment.Quoting talia-mom:I would love to see an article from an atheist on hyper judgmental atheists.

And don't even tell me they don't exist because you see them on this board.


I don't judge people on religion. I judge on if they are going to cost me tax dollars.
Sisteract
by Whoopie on Apr. 23, 2013 at 9:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh boy, have I ever seen some of the highlighted portions displayed on CM-

I have never been overly religious or the showy kind of worshipper. Live and let live.

Quite frankly, how would any of us "know" with 100% certainty which faith group or denomination has it 100% right?

Are all the others wrong and by default subject to enternal damnation? My departed MIL would have said, "yes" to that last question.


tambrathegreat
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:19 PM

BUMP!

flika
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:06 AM
1 mom liked this
When I know someone is a Christian, I think beware! I smile and I go the other way as fasts as I can. What I've seen is they are always wanting to get you to be of their group, their church etc. They always say, I was catholic but now I'm in this church and they save my life etc.
And since it's happened to me 99% of the time, I do think they are all like that.

It's scares me bc it seems they think they follow the correct church/religion and you don't.


Quoting talia-mom:

I would love to see an article from an atheist on hyper judgmental atheists.



And don't even tell me they don't exist because you see them on this board.





I don't judge people on religion. I judge on if they are going to cost me tax dollars.
jehosoba84
by Jenn on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:19 AM

 Is this author completely unaware that we are called as Christians to correct one another with love? Where does that come into play in this article?  This article basically states that anyone who corrects another is guilty of pride.  And we are here to help each other in our spiritual journey. How are we to do that without being called prideful for trying to do so, according to this author?

lokilover
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:22 AM



Quoting jehosoba84:

 Is this author completely unaware that we are called as Christians to correct one another with love? Where does that come into play in this article?  This article basically states that anyone who corrects another is guilty of pride.  And we are here to help each other in our spiritual journey. How are we to do that without being called prideful for trying to do so, according to this author?

You definitely shouldn't be doing that. 


tambrathegreat
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:22 AM

I would think so.  He's a pastor, after all. But this is just an excerpt, maybe you should follow the link and read the entire article to get a full picture of what he's trying to say.

Quoting jehosoba84:

 Is this author completely unaware that we are called as Christians to correct one another with love? Where does that come into play in this article?  This article basically states that anyone who corrects another is guilty of pride.  And we are here to help each other in our spiritual journey. How are we to do that without being called prideful for trying to do so, according to this author?


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