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What's the real reason you don't want your child to get an IEP?

Has your child's team of teachers ever suggested your child get tested or be provided with an IEP? If you declined to get tested or get an IEP for your child, what were your reasons.

If your child has an IEP what were some of the talking points that helped you decide to utilize an IEP?

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 5:13 PM
Replies (11-20):
momtoscott
by Platinum Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 5:54 PM
2 moms liked this

It's a hard moment for many parents, realizing that their child may need an IEP.  When you have to confront the reality of your child, rather than your dream child, there can be denial, bargaining, anger, and all of those other stages of grief.  

However, you are there to be of help to your child, and if the child needs an IEP, you are going to want to shape it and be involved in making it happen.  More kids have IEPs than you might think, the stigma of being on an IEP is less than it used to be.

My 15-year-old son has high functioning autism and has had an IEP since age 4.  It has evolved over time to fit his changing needs.  At this point, he gets to sit in on the meetings and be a part of the decision making, which is really strange for me, his mom, but is great for him.   


coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 5:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I never refuse any service offered. DD is speech delayed and although she's almost where she should be, she still sees the speech therapist at school (2nd grade). Because of how she processes information, she struggles a bit in school and gets extra help in reading and math and writing, none is in her IEP, her teacher thought she's benefit from the extra help and got it for her. Label schmabel...if your kid needs help, you get it. Period.
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btamilee
by Silver Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:00 PM

 I have worked within the school system for 13 years, and I have never heard of an IEP for gifted students?  When my youngest daughter was in middle school she did do testing, and went into a so called gifted program in English, but the test was not an IEP.  She is now a Junior in High School and is taking several AP courses, and has never had an IEP.  Can you tell me more about this??  You have me curious...


Quoting krysstizzle:

Both of my kiddos have one; the oldest for gifted, the younger for dyslexia. I don't think it matters all that much, honestly. I mean, I do what I can to make sure their school day will benefit them as much as possible (hence, the iep's). But I consider the vast majority of their learning and education to come from me and the things we do together. 


 

krysstizzle
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Gifted students here have IEPs. I think it falls under 'secondary exceptionality'; whereas my youngest falls under 'primary exceptionality'. (Not sure how they have those categories lumped, I don't know what other things fall under each).

I just assumed all states did this. 

I'm in New Mexico, btw. Perhaps it varies by state?

ETA: we did the IEP after testing was done to determine if he qualified for the gifted program at the behest of his teacher. Same process as my youngest, laid out goals and whatnot.

Quoting btamilee:

 I have worked within the school system for 13 years, and I have never heard of an IEP for gifted students?  When my youngest daughter was in middle school she did do testing, and went into a so called gifted program in English, but the test was not an IEP.  She is now a Junior in High School and is taking several AP courses, and has never had an IEP.  Can you tell me more about this??  You have me curious...


Quoting krysstizzle:

Both of my kiddos have one; the oldest for gifted, the younger for dyslexia. I don't think it matters all that much, honestly. I mean, I do what I can to make sure their school day will benefit them as much as possible (hence, the iep's). But I consider the vast majority of their learning and education to come from me and the things we do together. 




btamilee
by Silver Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:12 PM

 Very interesting.  I will have to inquire at the HS and see if that is something that they offer! 


Quoting krysstizzle:

Gifted students here have IEPs. I think it falls under 'secondary exceptionality'; whereas my youngest falls under 'primary exceptionality'. (Not sure how they have those categories lumped, I don't know what other things fall under each).

I just assumed all states did this. 

I'm in New Mexico, btw. Perhaps it varies by state?

ETA: we did the IEP after testing was done to determine if he qualified for the gifted program at the behest of his teacher. Same process as my youngest, laid out goals and whatnot.

Quoting btamilee:

 I have worked within the school system for 13 years, and I have never heard of an IEP for gifted students?  When my youngest daughter was in middle school she did do testing, and went into a so called gifted program in English, but the test was not an IEP.  She is now a Junior in High School and is taking several AP courses, and has never had an IEP.  Can you tell me more about this??  You have me curious...

 

Quoting krysstizzle:

Both of my kiddos have one; the oldest for gifted, the younger for dyslexia. I don't think it matters all that much, honestly. I mean, I do what I can to make sure their school day will benefit them as much as possible (hence, the iep's). But I consider the vast majority of their learning and education to come from me and the things we do together. 

 

 



 

KreatingMe
by Silver Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:16 PM
1 mom liked this
That's why public schools need to be revamped and teach the Montessori way, each student at his or her pace. :-)

Quoting LindaClement:

I think it's a tragedy in the school system that ALL children don't have individualized learning tailored to their skills and abilities and interests... 

Why does the majority have to suffer through all the same thing? Are they less individual than others?

krysstizzle
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:17 PM

I like it for a couple of reasons. One, the individualization is fantastic (I wish all students could have individualized goals). This way I get to make sure he's being challenged in the ways he needs to be. Grades aren't enough. He's a lazy learner, as in if he puts forth about 20% effort (maybe), he'll easily get A's and B's. The school system set-up suits him, so I want to make sure he's challenged in more creative thinking and critical thinking skills areas, art, etc. I can do that with an IEP. 

Also, even more interaction with his teachers for me, and it ends up creating a kind of community environment, I think, for him too. 

Do you think it varies by state? I honestly have no idea. 

Quoting btamilee:

 Very interesting.  I will have to inquire at the HS and see if that is something that they offer! 


Quoting krysstizzle:

Gifted students here have IEPs. I think it falls under 'secondary exceptionality'; whereas my youngest falls under 'primary exceptionality'. (Not sure how they have those categories lumped, I don't know what other things fall under each).

I just assumed all states did this. 

I'm in New Mexico, btw. Perhaps it varies by state?

ETA: we did the IEP after testing was done to determine if he qualified for the gifted program at the behest of his teacher. Same process as my youngest, laid out goals and whatnot.

Quoting btamilee:

 I have worked within the school system for 13 years, and I have never heard of an IEP for gifted students?  When my youngest daughter was in middle school she did do testing, and went into a so called gifted program in English, but the test was not an IEP.  She is now a Junior in High School and is taking several AP courses, and has never had an IEP.  Can you tell me more about this??  You have me curious...


Quoting krysstizzle:

Both of my kiddos have one; the oldest for gifted, the younger for dyslexia. I don't think it matters all that much, honestly. I mean, I do what I can to make sure their school day will benefit them as much as possible (hence, the iep's). But I consider the vast majority of their learning and education to come from me and the things we do together. 







LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:17 PM

That would be a start... I'd prefer them to be revamped more like a public library.

Quoting KreatingMe:

That's why public schools need to be revamped and teach the Montessori way, each student at his or her pace. :-)

Quoting LindaClement:

I think it's a tragedy in the school system that ALL children don't have individualized learning tailored to their skills and abilities and interests... 

Why does the majority have to suffer through all the same thing? Are they less individual than others?


HaileysMom07180
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:21 PM

we are in the process of setting up an IEP.  She was just diagnosed last wieek with PDD, (not an easy diagnonis to get, she is mild and her teachers kept saying ADD) but she had other symptoms that didn't match.  school ends so soon that we may just set up the IEP for next year.  we are moving to a new school district anyway so fresh start, fresh teachers.

btamilee
by Silver Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:31 PM

 I am not sure if it varies by state or not.  When my daughter was in middle school, she was very bored with her English class, in no way did it challenge her.  She ended up going into the first year they tried a *Gifted* program, which went well.  To make a very long story short...her teacher ended up leaving for another job, and the school decided to drag their heels on hiring another gifted teacher.  They went a year and with no teacher.  So, my daughter ended up back in a regular class, although she given harder work....with very limited teachers assistance.  I was very angry with the school for not following up on the plan.  Now....she is doing well in her current AP classes (AP Literature and AP History) at our local High School, and is the first student to do an Independent Study in screenwriting.  She is hoping that it will open the door for other students to have the same chance.  The short film she wrote and directed a while ago, just won best student film at film festival.  Our High School has never been very high on the Arts programs, so much of her accomplishments have been done outside of the school.  The HS now has an incredible Theatre Arts teacher who has fought the administration all the way.....and she refuses to take NO for an answer!

Quoting krysstizzle:

I like it for a couple of reasons. One, the individualization is fantastic (I wish all students could have individualized goals). This way I get to make sure he's being challenged in the ways he needs to be. Grades aren't enough. He's a lazy learner, as in if he puts forth about 20% effort (maybe), he'll easily get A's and B's. The school system set-up suits him, so I want to make sure he's challenged in more creative thinking and critical thinking skills areas, art, etc. I can do that with an IEP. 

Also, even more interaction with his teachers for me, and it ends up creating a kind of community environment, I think, for him too. 

Do you think it varies by state? I honestly have no idea. 

Quoting btamilee:

 Very interesting.  I will have to inquire at the HS and see if that is something that they offer! 

 

Quoting krysstizzle:

Gifted students here have IEPs. I think it falls under 'secondary exceptionality'; whereas my youngest falls under 'primary exceptionality'. (Not sure how they have those categories lumped, I don't know what other things fall under each).

I just assumed all states did this. 

I'm in New Mexico, btw. Perhaps it varies by state?

ETA: we did the IEP after testing was done to determine if he qualified for the gifted program at the behest of his teacher. Same process as my youngest, laid out goals and whatnot.

Quoting btamilee:

 I have worked within the school system for 13 years, and I have never heard of an IEP for gifted students?  When my youngest daughter was in middle school she did do testing, and went into a so called gifted program in English, but the test was not an IEP.  She is now a Junior in High School and is taking several AP courses, and has never had an IEP.  Can you tell me more about this??  You have me curious...

 

Quoting krysstizzle:

Both of my kiddos have one; the oldest for gifted, the younger for dyslexia. I don't think it matters all that much, honestly. I mean, I do what I can to make sure their school day will benefit them as much as possible (hence, the iep's). But I consider the vast majority of their learning and education to come from me and the things we do together. 

 

 


 

 



 

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