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What's the real reason you don't want your child to get an IEP?

Has your child's team of teachers ever suggested your child get tested or be provided with an IEP? If you declined to get tested or get an IEP for your child, what were your reasons.

If your child has an IEP what were some of the talking points that helped you decide to utilize an IEP?

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 5:13 PM
Replies (21-30):
KreatingMe
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:31 PM
The school my son went to wasn't that far off from a library. There is no teacher standing in the front of the room giving one lesson to all the students who are expected to learn the same thing at the same place. There are individual students working on their own work scattered around the rooms d small groups of students who have chosen to work together. The direct ress and assistant go around and give individual lessons and observing progress. I've heard many a parent say they wish they could hang out in the school it was such a unique and wonderful environment.

Quoting LindaClement:

That would be a start... I'd prefer them to be revamped more like a public library.

Quoting KreatingMe:

That's why public schools need to be revamped and teach the Montessori way, each student at his or her pace. :-)



Quoting LindaClement:

I think it's a tragedy in the school system that ALL children don't have individualized learning tailored to their skills and abilities and interests... 

Why does the majority have to suffer through all the same thing? Are they less individual than others?


LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:34 PM
1 mom liked this

My kids' education was exactly like a library: do what you want, for as long as you want, until you want to do something else. Delve as deeply as you want, in any subject you're interested in...

If you take out a pile of books about dinosaurs and it turns out none of them are interesting to you, feel free to take them back and get something else.

The reason both you and I know that the methodology used in the great montessori-style schools is not going to be adopted mainstream is money. No one is going to pay for that many babysitters per student...

Quoting KreatingMe:

The school my son went to wasn't that far off from a library. There is no teacher standing in the front of the room giving one lesson to all the students who are expected to learn the same thing at the same place. There are individual students working on their own work scattered around the rooms d small groups of students who have chosen to work together. The direct ress and assistant go around and give individual lessons and observing progress. I've heard many a parent say they wish they could hang out in the school it was such a unique and wonderful environment.

Quoting LindaClement:

That would be a start... I'd prefer them to be revamped more like a public library.

Quoting KreatingMe:

That's why public schools need to be revamped and teach the Montessori way, each student at his or her pace. :-)



Quoting LindaClement:

I think it's a tragedy in the school system that ALL children don't have individualized learning tailored to their skills and abilities and interests... 

Why does the majority have to suffer through all the same thing? Are they less individual than others?



TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:43 PM

 I don't know why any parent would turn down an IEP. It's not like the teacher stands in front of the class and says "Little Johnny has ADHD and that is why he had a separate behavior plan".

 IEP's are very helpful for children that have special needs.  

foxfroggy
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:21 PM

On the contrary, I fought to get an IEP for my very high IQ child who also happened to have dyslexia and dyscalculia. The idiot principal tried to claim that barely passing was an "appropriate education."

gludwig2000
by Gina on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:27 PM
1 mom liked this

 My daughter (avi) started having a really hard time in the second grade. She would fail open book tests, and I didn't understand it because I would go over everything with her the night before, and I knew she was prepared. Any how, due to issues that happened at her birth, I requested testing, and after about a year, they finally did. She was diagnosed as a visual learner and they decided that she would require some one on one time with teachers to help with her reading, small test groups and a little extra time for testing. Anyway, from the time she was tested, until she graduated high school exactly on time and exactly where she was supposed to be academically, I watched her blossom. She went from believing she was dumb, and nothing I could say could convince her other wise, to seeing that she was just as smart as anyone else, just that she learned a little differently and it means all the world to me. I don't understand a parent who is reluctant to get their child the help they need, because of what someone else might think. It was a wonderful experience for both myself and my daughter, and I recommend it to anyone who has a struggling child because it can change their life.

cjsbmom
by Lois Lane on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:39 PM
1 mom liked this

My son has had an IEP since he started school at my insistence. He was diagnosed with high functioning autism at age 3, so I knew he'd need the assistance. It contains provisions for an aide in the classroom, plus a behavior plan. 

Another little boy in his class who has the same diagnosis just now got an IEP after three years of struggling. His parents were afraid to get him one because they didn't want him to be "labeled." I have never understood this rationale. Your child already has a diagnosis, and he's acting out in class because his needs aren't being met. So he already has a label as a difficult child. Why not put a real face on it and get that child the help he needs?


cjsbmom
by Lois Lane on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:39 PM

Yep. 

Quoting Bieg9093:

 I work with 2,3,4 year olds and am often the first person who suggests to parents that getting an eval is a good idea.  Plain and simple, most folks who resist don't want their kids "labeled."  They might recognize that their kids are struggling, but when they hear that they have to call the district's "special ed" office, they balk.  Often times, moms are okay but dads resist.  They worry that their kids will get teased or that they'll be stuck in sped forever.  They are old-fashioned...they believe the kids will just "grow out of it."

When I choose to approach a parent with this suggestion, I SELL it  That's what teahers don't do enough of.  They're wishy washy.  They are afraid to insult parents so they cushion their real thoughts.   It's not fair and often results in parents who have trouble making solid decisions on the matter.



mom4awesomekids
by Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:40 PM

My girls have IEP's....have since they were about 2.  My oldest has major delays, ADD, SPD, speech/language delays.  My youngest has Autism, ADHD, and some other things.

katy_kay08
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:54 PM

my friend's son doesn't get the assistance instead his teacher uses it as an excuse to send him out into the hall or to the principal's office.  Not every student has a positive IEP experience.  

Our district has also started essentially segregating the special needs students into specific schools.  The high achievers are bused to 2 different schools in the district and the special needs kids are bused to a couple of the schools, and incidentally the schools chosen are the schools with the least active PTA and the fewest extra curricular activities.  Unfortunately the schools' budgets go to provide aides so the kids that do not fall into either category miss out on all the extras happening at the schools without the influx of high needs children.  

Quoting cjsbmom:

My son has had an IEP since he started school at my insistence. He was diagnosed with high functioning autism at age 3, so I knew he'd need the assistance. It contains provisions for an aide in the classroom, plus a behavior plan. 

Another little boy in his class who has the same diagnosis just now got an IEP after three years of struggling. His parents were afraid to get him one because they didn't want him to be "labeled." I have never understood this rationale. Your child already has a diagnosis, and he's acting out in class because his needs aren't being met. So he already has a label as a difficult child. Why not put a real face on it and get that child the help he needs?



katy_kay08
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:59 PM

Also our district also was caught using the special needs high school students as janitors.  This is not a "needs friendly" school district.  The distict excuse is that this is "occupational training"

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