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So, I usually laugh and poke the faddish parenting philosophies. I was listening to a local NPR station this morning and there were a few people in the studio just speaking casually about their experiences. One had a little brother that was going on his first professional job interview and they were talking about the three biggest things that cause a 'millenial' *that's the new buzzword for the newest college grads* to flunk a job interview. According to the conversation in the studio it was this:

#3: texting, smart phoning and social mediaing during said job interview (does this really surprise anyone?)

#2: Failure to address superiors as such.

#1: Parents of job applicants... as in parents who attend job interviews and interfere on behalf of precious Johnny or shining star Judy.


I was shocked. Literally shocked. After all my time on CM I really shouldn't be, but... REALLY? Has it really gone that far? Does anyone really think this is acceptable?

As an aside, I have a friend who teaches UPPER level college courses who says she has parents in her office, on her phone and in her email on a weekly basis asking, complaining and cajoling about their college age children... I'm talking grad students here.

Is this really something we as a society are moving toward as not only an accepted but encouraged form of parenting? It sort of feels that way when I read some of the stuff I read here...

Discuss.





by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:25 AM
Replies (11-20):
Raintree
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:40 AM
1 mom liked this

I asked a professor friend of mine if he ever has this happen and he said that it hasn't so far. Said he wouldn't even know what to do if it did happen.

That said, he teaches at a community college. A good one, a very good one- but still- a community college. Most of his  students are high achievers (high schoolers getting ahead) or veterans or adults going back to college. So it's a different world than your average college or university.

He recently had a job offer from a local private college and didn't take it because the atmosphere was so babying of the students. It was high school all over again. I don't think it's just the parents that encourage this kind of thing.

JakeandEmmasMom
by Platinum Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:43 AM

Quoting FromAtoZ:

We have a young woman at work whose husband is always the one calling in for her, calling to see what her schedule is, stating it needs to be changed to meet their needs, etc.

I asked her why she does not call herself, that she needs to, and not 1/2 hour prior to her shift.  

Her husband likes to ensure she is taken care of and handles all things that could bring about stress for her, just like her parents used to do.

Huh?

I made it clear that she is to follow policy.  Her husband, or her parents, have nothing to do with it and calls from him will no longer be acceptable.  She can write down her own schedule, copy it, what ever, while at work.  For goodness sakes, grow up.

 I used to work for a bank.  One day, I was discussing the "calling in" policy with my supervisor, and she told me the story about when she had gotten officially reprimanded because her mother called in for her.  This was when Mount Saint Helens blew.  She and her family had been on a road trip when the mountain blew, and they were having trouble getting back home.   They eventually made it to a hotel, but couldn't get out for a couple of days, and the phone connection was spotty at best.  She was finally able to get ahold of her mom to let her know they were okay, but holed up at a motel, and could she please call the bank and let them know what was going on.  She got written up for that.  Yep.  Times sure have changed.

Momniscient
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:43 AM
2 moms liked this

What is wrong with people that they need to mommy that hard? That's another facet to the issue...

I get that the world has changed but aren't these kinds of parents not only encouraging a change to a 'safer' world but insanely embracing it? Breastfeeding well into childhood, walking a child straight into their desk at school everyday, never letting them bathe alone, never allowing them to run at the playground alone... etc...

Holy god no wonder the mommy wars are so popular. It breeds this kind of thing.

Quoting katy_kay08:

I've heard of it, there was an article last year about parents getting involved in negotiating employment contracts/salaries.   I just shook my head, I would immediately decline to hire anyong that needed mommy to that extent.  

http://www.npr.org/2012/02/06/146464665/helicopter-parents-hover-in-the-workplace


http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/economy/employment/2007-04-23-helicopter-parents-usat_N.htm


http://www.nbcnews.com/id/37218735/ns/business-careers/t/parents-go-overboard-help-college-kid-get-job/#.UX_jgrVOTXQ



Momniscient
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:44 AM

Right. We have to baby them in college because they aren't prepared to be there.

Quoting Raintree:

I asked a professor friend of mine if he ever has this happen and he said that it hasn't so far. Said he wouldn't even know what to do if it did happen.

That said, he teaches at a community college. A good one, a very good one- but still- a community college. Most of his  students are high achievers (high schoolers getting ahead) or veterans or adults going back to college. So it's a different world than your average college or university.

He recently had a job offer from a local private college and didn't take it because the atmosphere was so babying of the students. It was high school all over again. I don't think it's just the parents that encourage this kind of thing.



MeAndTommyLee
by Gold Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:58 AM
2 moms liked this

What?!  Oh my Lord, this is really sickening.  Two of our kids attend univeristy at the moment and I can not imagine calling, emailing or dropping in on one of their professors for anything EVER.  This type of parenting is forgien to me and I guess I am a parent of these `millanial' children.

And who in the hell does not turn off their cell phone during a job interview?  That is just rude!  It puts off an aura of superiority, sell-importance and all bad qualities.  Does it surprise me?  Yes and no.  And parents attending job interviews?!  For what?  YOU will not be working there.  Cut the cord! 

 

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:01 PM


Quoting CorpCityGrl:


Oh no!

That is insane and ridiculous!

How did she react?

Quoting FromAtoZ:

We have a young woman at work whose husband is always the one calling in for her, calling to see what her schedule is, stating it needs to be changed to meet their needs, etc.

I asked her why she does not call herself, that she needs to, and not 1/2 hour prior to her shift.  

Her husband likes to ensure she is taken care of and handles all things that could bring about stress for her, just like her parents used to do.

Huh?

I made it clear that she is to follow policy.  Her husband, or her parents, have nothing to do with it and calls from him will no longer be acceptable.  She can write down her own schedule, copy it, what ever, while at work.  For goodness sakes, grow up.



She simply stated she did not realize and would read the policy again.

*sigh*

She is 23, a wonderful young woman, smart and damn good at her job.  She has a 3 year old and is pregnant with their second.  


CorpCityGrl
by Bronze Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:02 PM
2 moms liked this



Quoting FromAtoZ:


Quoting CorpCityGrl:


Oh no!

That is insane and ridiculous!

How did she react?

Quoting FromAtoZ:

We have a young woman at work whose husband is always the one calling in for her, calling to see what her schedule is, stating it needs to be changed to meet their needs, etc.

I asked her why she does not call herself, that she needs to, and not 1/2 hour prior to her shift.  

Her husband likes to ensure she is taken care of and handles all things that could bring about stress for her, just like her parents used to do.

Huh?

I made it clear that she is to follow policy.  Her husband, or her parents, have nothing to do with it and calls from him will no longer be acceptable.  She can write down her own schedule, copy it, what ever, while at work.  For goodness sakes, grow up.



She simply stated she did not realize and would read the policy again.

*sigh*

She is 23, a wonderful young woman, smart and damn good at her job.  She has a 3 year old and is pregnant with their second.  


*shakes head*

She really shouldn't have had to read any kind of policy to know that.  I, personally, would be embarrassed if my DH called in for me for all of that.  If he's calling into my office, then it's because there is something serious going on and I cannot call myself.


FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:02 PM


Quoting JakeandEmmasMom:

Quoting FromAtoZ:

We have a young woman at work whose husband is always the one calling in for her, calling to see what her schedule is, stating it needs to be changed to meet their needs, etc.

I asked her why she does not call herself, that she needs to, and not 1/2 hour prior to her shift.  

Her husband likes to ensure she is taken care of and handles all things that could bring about stress for her, just like her parents used to do.

Huh?

I made it clear that she is to follow policy.  Her husband, or her parents, have nothing to do with it and calls from him will no longer be acceptable.  She can write down her own schedule, copy it, what ever, while at work.  For goodness sakes, grow up.

 I used to work for a bank.  One day, I was discussing the "calling in" policy with my supervisor, and she told me the story about when she had gotten officially reprimanded because her mother called in for her.  This was when Mount Saint Helens blew.  She and her family had been on a road trip when the mountain blew, and they were having trouble getting back home.   They eventually made it to a hotel, but couldn't get out for a couple of days, and the phone connection was spotty at best.  She was finally able to get ahold of her mom to let her know they were okay, but holed up at a motel, and could she please call the bank and let them know what was going on.  She got written up for that.  Yep.  Times sure have changed.

This is by far different from having a parent, or even a spouse, take care of your daily events, doing what a well equipped adult should be able to do themselves.

I would never write some one up for such circumstances.  

MeAndTommyLee
by Gold Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:05 PM

Ironic you should say this.  I suggested that our DD stay back and work full-time at her job for two years before she entered college because I did not feel as though she was mentally prepared to be there.  It paid of beautifully.  She learned responsibility, budgeting, advocating on her own behalf in employment situations and so much more.  When I cut the cord, she was prepared -- prepared enough to live on her own far away from the next, hold down employment and keep up with the rigors of university life.  He grades are good.  She's riding on a 3.5 GPA and she did it all by herself. 


Quoting Momniscient:

Right. We have to baby them in college because they aren't prepared to be there.

Quoting Raintree:

I asked a professor friend of mine if he ever has this happen and he said that it hasn't so far. Said he wouldn't even know what to do if it did happen.

That said, he teaches at a community college. A good one, a very good one- but still- a community college. Most of his  students are high achievers (high schoolers getting ahead) or veterans or adults going back to college. So it's a different world than your average college or university.

He recently had a job offer from a local private college and didn't take it because the atmosphere was so babying of the students. It was high school all over again. I don't think it's just the parents that encourage this kind of thing.



 

Piskie
by Bronze Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this
As a parent, I will totally be involved in my daughters first job....
I the background! I'll help her prep for interviews, tell her what I'd expect as an employer etc. I'd give her the tools to do it herself.
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