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So, I usually laugh and poke the faddish parenting philosophies. I was listening to a local NPR station this morning and there were a few people in the studio just speaking casually about their experiences. One had a little brother that was going on his first professional job interview and they were talking about the three biggest things that cause a 'millenial' *that's the new buzzword for the newest college grads* to flunk a job interview. According to the conversation in the studio it was this:

#3: texting, smart phoning and social mediaing during said job interview (does this really surprise anyone?)

#2: Failure to address superiors as such.

#1: Parents of job applicants... as in parents who attend job interviews and interfere on behalf of precious Johnny or shining star Judy.


I was shocked. Literally shocked. After all my time on CM I really shouldn't be, but... REALLY? Has it really gone that far? Does anyone really think this is acceptable?

As an aside, I have a friend who teaches UPPER level college courses who says she has parents in her office, on her phone and in her email on a weekly basis asking, complaining and cajoling about their college age children... I'm talking grad students here.

Is this really something we as a society are moving toward as not only an accepted but encouraged form of parenting? It sort of feels that way when I read some of the stuff I read here...

Discuss.





by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:25 AM
Replies (211-220):
celticgodess
by on May. 2, 2013 at 12:13 PM

I a a retail store manager and it boggles my mind when parents try to call off for, run interference for, follow up on an application for...their children.  If they are old enugh to get a job than they are old enough to deal with having a job!

apollothor
by on May. 2, 2013 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this

I wonder if these are the same types of moms who breast feed way past the time when the kids are big enough to hop up onto mom's lap, open her blouse, grab the boob on their own, and write "thanks" on a post-it, and put it on her boob, put the boob back, button her blouse, then catch the schoolbus.  My friend's mother-in-law wanted to go on the honeymoon with them because she had never been to where they were going. People at the wedding had to tell her off.  Some people just won't let their kids grow up. I've met alot of people who give their kids no responsibility and keep them as babies forever.

Momniscient
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2013 at 2:12 PM

Interesting stuff.

I didn't read very far, but I like the philosophy of... moderation.

Quoting jazzgirl205:

Has anyone checked out freerangekids.com?



Meadowchik
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2013 at 2:16 PM

 Blerch.

It's one thing for a adult to go to their parents for their perspective, even perhaps relatively expert advice in something, but to have as an actual intermediary is creepy, IMO.

Momniscient
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2013 at 2:21 PM

Agreed.

I find it weird that it is actually something that needs to be discussed... as in... it is actually on a LIST of why people fail job interviews. I always just assumed it was the way out in left field exception in parenting...

Quoting Meadowchik:

 Blerch.

It's one thing for a adult to go to their parents for their perspective, even perhaps relatively expert advice in something, but to have as an actual intermediary is creepy, IMO.



ChristyG2012
by on May. 2, 2013 at 2:38 PM
I find it pretty ironic that everyone is so openly disgusted by this idea but half of cafemom will be doing this themselves in a few years!

But yes, it is very sad that this is what society has come to...
Sisteract
by Whoopie on May. 2, 2013 at 3:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I am telling you, these are the folks that treat 16,17, 18 year olds like 5 year olds...It's all about "control".

Quoting ChristyG2012:

I find it pretty ironic that everyone is so openly disgusted by this idea but half of cafemom will be doing this themselves in a few years!

But yes, it is very sad that this is what society has come to...


ButterMeUp
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2013 at 3:39 PM
I completely understand where you're coming from and the mind set behind it. It is very hard to work with someone who can't/won't do their jobs. I do agree that the female employee in question should be doing more to check her own schedule. If she's unwilling to talk to others, she should be exhausting all other methods before bring in mom. It makes her look lazy and unprofessional.

Now as far as I'm concerned, I'm not exactly sure what I'll do with out him. That's the thing about our relationship. We both rely on eachother a lot. I need him for emotional support, while he needs me for conflict solving and sorting out his emotions. We work great as a team, but were horrible seperated.

Quoting FromAtoZ:Quoting ButterMeUp:I'm guilty of this. My husband doesn't go to doctor appointments, stressful meetings, ect with me for support, he goes there to talk form me. I'm not assertive at all. The though of getting into a disagreement with someone or talking to someone who might cause me harm or get irate with me petrifies me. I seldomly even take my orders back to have them fixed when I'm alone or the person a the register looks rude or unprofessional.

My Dh was the only real BF I've ever had. He always takes care of anything I wont do because I'm timid or anything that might stress me out. When I got my first job in college, he went with me. He waited in the car but I needed to know he would be right there to console me if I was rejected.

I don't really see the harm in needing a lot of emotional support. I've always been shy and being tormented in school did nothing but make it worse. Now I run from conflict and it's something I've never been able to shake. I don't think it's really fair to judge others based on their emotional states. I wish people were just a little more supportive. I may not be the most emotional sound, but I'm a damn good mom, person, and a caring person above all. I'll admit it's differently not the live I hope my DD has, but I hope if she does she will marry someone like her father and run into supportive emvionments that won't challenge her. Hopefully society will be more understand by the times she's out in the real world.


Quoting FromAtoZ:

We have a young woman at work whose husband is always the one calling in for her, calling to see what her schedule is, stating it needs to be changed to meet their needs, etc.

I asked her why she does not call herself, that she needs to, and not 1/2 hour prior to her shift.  

Her husband likes to ensure she is taken care of and handles all things that could bring about stress for her, just like her parents used to do.

Huh?

I made it clear that she is to follow policy.  Her husband, or her parents, have nothing to do with it and calls from him will no longer be acceptable.  She can write down her own schedule, copy it, what ever, while at work.  For goodness sakes, grow up.

Being supportive is fine.  Doing the job of another when it is their responsibility is another.  There is no reason for any one other than the employee to be calling in, unless it is an instance when she is physically unable.  She can check her schedule while she is at work.

Many employers are not going to find it endearing if a parent, or a spouse, is constantly underfoot.  If there is a medical issue, or mental issue, that prevents the individual from handling their own responsibilities, that needs to be addressed from the beginning.  

If your husband is always doing things for you how will you be able to handle situations without him?  I admire how supportive he is but there comes a time when you need to be able to step up and handle your own affairs yourself.  

I can understand his being in the car during your interview.  As long as he does not go in with you to speak for you.  I can't work with some one who cannot do the job themselves.  Many other people cannot as well.  It hinders the overall work environment.  

punky3175
by Punky on May. 2, 2013 at 3:45 PM
Yeah it blows my mind as well. I'm teaching my kids to be self sufficient and productive members of society. They will be forced to look for their own jobs, get their schedules etc. I'll give advice if asked but no more.
PhoenixV
by New Member on May. 2, 2013 at 4:21 PM

I think it's crazy. They are old enough to be dealing with that themselves. If they are being treated inappropriately, and need someone to help them, then fine, go ahead and help. But they are never going to learn to do anything if their parents keep doing it for them.

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