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SO: If not paddling, then what?

Posted by on May. 1, 2013 at 2:02 PM
  • 11 Replies

If we do not want our kids paddled in school for excessivly bad behavior, then what do we want to happen? 


(For the record, I am 100% against paddling as I was paddled as a child and believe it was abuse.)

by on May. 1, 2013 at 2:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sisteract
by Whoopie on May. 1, 2013 at 2:05 PM
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Let's start by looking at what we do with young adults in the workplace- Some of these folks do not have full brain maturation and we do not strike them. The punishment must be developmentally appropriate and teach a lesson, not induce physical harm and fear.

Adults hit out of frustration and nothing more. Hitting/beating teahces nothing but fear and intimidation.

UpSheRises
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2013 at 2:06 PM
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Support developing problem solving and conflict resolution skills and higher adult to child ratios.

viv212
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2013 at 2:07 PM
The positive reward system when they do good?
JakeandEmmasMom
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2013 at 2:12 PM
1 mom liked this

 My kids' school has this whole system they've developed that consists of teaching, reminding, and reinforcing appropriate behavior, and a series of warnings and consequences when they break the rules.  It seems to work pretty well.

Ultimately, though, I think some of the responsibility lies with the parents.  Do the kids follow the rules at home?  Are there consequences at home for misbehavior (beyond just yelling at the kid)?  Do the kids understand that the parents value education and expect appropriate behavior at school?  What is that addage about kids being better behaved for other people than they are for their own parents?  So if they are this unruly in school, what do they get away with at home?

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on May. 1, 2013 at 2:14 PM


Quoting JakeandEmmasMom:

 My kids' school has this whole system they've developed that consists of teaching, reminding, and reinforcing appropriate behavior, and a series of warnings and consequences when they break the rules.  It seems to work pretty well.

Ultimately, though, I think some of the responsibility lies with the parents.  Do the kids follow the rules at home?  Are there consequences at home for misbehavior (beyond just yelling at the kid)?  Do the kids understand that the parents value education and expect appropriate behavior at school?  What is that addage about kids being better behaved for other people than they are for their own parents?  So if they are this unruly in school, what do they get away with at home?

Agreed.

Also, circumstances are individualized as well.  There should be consequences to one's negative behavior.  I just don't believe that allowing an adult to hit the child should be one of them or is beneficial.  Speaks to me about the parents as well.  

TimetoMomUp
by Runt on May. 1, 2013 at 2:19 PM

My DD's school use a color chart to reward good behavior and as punishment for bad behavior.  So far my DD is a good student and usually gets a color toward the top of the chart. 

When we were kids my older brother was a terrible kid.  They way my Mom explains, he was like that from the time he could crawl.  He is now an alcoholic.  With that said, we grew up under the constant stress of my Mom who is bipolar.  She was in and out of clinics and attempted suicide more times than I can count.  She also had my older brother and I when she was a teenager.  I believe a lot of my brothers issues can be linked back to that.  I, on the other hand, was a closeted "bad kid."  My Mom just didn't know what was going on with me and I guess I eventually changed my own mind and managed to turn my life around without an help.  Sorry, that was a lot of backstory.  Back to my brother...he was by all standards, a bad kid and teenager.  He was a thief, he damaged property, he cussed at teachers, etc...and my Mom would constantly go to the school for help.  It didn't matter what the school did, nothing changed. 


That is the type of excessivly bad behavior I am talking about.  What do we do about the kids who do act out in those ways but have been discarded at home?

MelanieJK
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2013 at 2:36 PM

Any procedure needs to make sure it doesn't end up having the teacher spend too much time with or constantly distracted by one difficult child at the expense of the education of all the others.   

In general positive reinforcement or short term time outs sound best.   But if a kid is spending too much time in time outs they're not learning and they might use it to get out of learning.   

  The teacher should talk to the parent since the parent knows what works for them.    Not all kids respond to the same things.    

If nothing works I think they have to remove the kid from the classroom.     The parent should have to get the kid help if the school doesn't have special programs (behavioural specialists etc.).  

futureshock
by Ruby Member on May. 1, 2013 at 2:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Put them in a school made for children like this, get them away from other children.

Sisteract
by Whoopie on May. 1, 2013 at 2:46 PM


Quoting futureshock:

Put them in a school made for children like this, get them away from other children.

Ok, so you've isolated the problem.

Now how do you get those kids to stop the behaviors? Or do you Lord of the Flies it?

Healthystart30
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2013 at 2:52 PM
I don't know, send them to the principle, have a policy in place. Take away recess, put them in summer school, detention, card flipping, no computer time, positive reinforcement.....
It depends on the child/teenager.
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