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Mother forced to pay $1,300 a month spousal support to ex-husband convicted of raping her daughter

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 2:11 PM
  • 21 Replies

A mother whose husband was jailed for repeatedly raping her young daughter for 16 years, was forced to pay him spousal support after their divorce and is being asked for back payments now that he has been released from jail. 

Carol Abar from Corona, California, has been living a nightmare since her daughter, who wished to remain anonymous, revealed that her stepfather Ed had been systematically abusing her since she was nine years old. 

Although she immediately filed for divorce from Mr Abar, because the marriage was terminated before the sexual abuse charges were brought against him, Ms Abar, the higher earner found herself a victim of a loophole in the California legal system. 

Happy days: Carol Abar (right) has been paying alimony to the man she married in 1991 and divorced sixteen years later when her daughter (left) told her he had been raping her the entire time

Happy days: Carol Abar (right) has been paying alimony to the man she married in 1991 and divorced sixteen years later when her daughter (left) told her he had been raping her the entire time

Since their divorce she has been paying her ex-husband monthly alimony of $1,300 and had given him a total of $22,000 until Mr Abar struck a plea deal last year and pleaded guilty to one of the five rape charges.

Sentenced to a year in prison, Mr Abar has now been released and is demanding that payments resume and his ex-wife compensate him for the year the support was put on hold during his incarceration. 

 

'Every time I wrote that check, I cried because I felt like I was paying the man that raped my daughter,' Ms Abar told CBS2.

Explaining how she ended up paying the alimony she said: 'The judge told me I had no proof. It was my word against him.'

Oblivious: Ed Abar (right) was convicted of raping his stepdaughter but not until after the couple were divorced which meant Mrs Abar, as the higher earner, was obligated to pay spousal support

Oblivious: Ed Abar (right) was convicted of raping his stepdaughter but not until after the couple were divorced which meant Mrs Abar, as the higher earner, was obligated to pay spousal support

Ms Abar was horrified when her daughter confessed what had been going on under her roof. Remaining in the shadows while interviewed, her daughter told CBS: 'He had threatened me that he would kill my mom; he would kill my stepbrothers; he would kill me.'

According to his attorney, Mr Abar eventually pleaded guilty to avoid a longer sentence but still maintains his innocence and deserves the money from his former wife.

'Under the law, he is entitled to some relief from the higher income producing spouse, so that the marital standard of living can be maintained,' said Sherry Collins.

But Ms Abar's attorney, Brian Uhl has called the demands a 'miscarriage of justice.'  

'He's asking not just to resume the existing support of $1,300 a month, but he's asking for what amounts to approximately $33,000 in past due support,' he explained. 

Nightmare: Ed Abar pleaded guilty to one charge of rape and was sentenced to a year in jail. Now that he is free he is demanding that Carol Abar pay him $33,000 in back payments from the past year and that she continue with the monthly support

Nightmare: Ed Abar pleaded guilty to one charge of rape and was sentenced to a year in jail. Now that he is free he is demanding that Carol Abar pay him $33,000 in back payments from the past year and that she continue with the monthly support

Under California law, spousal support only takes into consideration domestic abuse between couples and not any acts involving children. Since the convicted rapist never behaved violently towards his wife, the judge in their divorce ruled in his favour. 

Now that Mr Abar is free, Mr Uhl admits that it is 'remotely possible' that his demands may have legal grounds.  

'That concerns myself and it should concern those people in California that have similar situations,' he lamented. 

Ms Abar's daughter says she is unable to move forward thanks to her stepfather's request. 

'It hurts me. I still feel like I'm being victimized,' she said. 

Her mother sobbed: 'He victimized a little girl all these years and I have to pay him for that behavior... it just doesn't make sense to me.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320799/Mother-forced-pay-1-300-month-spousal-support-ex-husband-convicted-raping-daughter.html

by on May. 7, 2013 at 2:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lokilover
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:21 PM
4 moms liked this

Alimony is a stupid and outdated concept, and should not apply except in specific situations. 

OHgirlinCA
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:25 PM
1 mom liked this

 That's ridiculous!

TranquilMind
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:27 PM
7 moms liked this

 I'd lose my job before I'd pay that scumbag anything.

kailu1835
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:42 PM
2 moms liked this
When I was going to school at Bryman, a classmate of mine had come home to find that her husband had raped their 18 month old. She was bleeding profusely from her vagina and anus. She calmly walked into the kitchen, pulled a knife out of the drawer, walked over to her husband who was watching TV and drinking beer, and began stabbing him repeatedly. He managed to survive it, but his ass will never see the outside of a prison. That is how it should be.
tooptimistic
by Kelly on May. 7, 2013 at 2:44 PM

That is so wrong.

jllcali
by Jane on May. 7, 2013 at 2:45 PM
1 mom liked this
This makes my blood boil.

Too bad dexter morgan is a fictional character.
tnmomofive
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:45 PM


Omg that is horrible! How disgusting that guy is.I don't blame the classmate if i'd of probably cut his penis off!

Quoting kailu1835:

When I was going to school at Bryman, a classmate of mine had come home to find that her husband had raped their 18 month old. She was bleeding profusely from her vagina and anus. She calmly walked into the kitchen, pulled a knife out of the drawer, walked over to her husband who was watching TV and drinking beer, and began stabbing him repeatedly. He managed to survive it, but his ass will never see the outside of a prison. That is how it should be.



MrsSamMerlotte
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:45 PM
This is disgusting.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jllcali
by Jane on May. 7, 2013 at 2:47 PM
I am not for vigilante justice, but I can't say I blame her at all. Was she charged with anything.

Quoting kailu1835:

When I was going to school at Bryman, a classmate of mine had come home to find that her husband had raped their 18 month old. She was bleeding profusely from her vagina and anus. She calmly walked into the kitchen, pulled a knife out of the drawer, walked over to her husband who was watching TV and drinking beer, and began stabbing him repeatedly. He managed to survive it, but his ass will never see the outside of a prison. That is how it should be.
kailu1835
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:50 PM
She was initially charged, but charges were quickly dropped. I forget what it was she called it, but basically she acted on instinct after seeing her daughter mutilated, and no reasonable person could have expected a mother in her situation to not react similarly. It wasn't a temporary insanity thing, but similar, if that makes sense.
Quoting jllcali:

I am not for vigilante justice, but I can't say I blame her at all. Was she charged with anything.

Quoting kailu1835:

When I was going to school at Bryman, a classmate of mine had come home to find that her husband had raped their 18 month old. She was bleeding profusely from her vagina and anus. She calmly walked into the kitchen, pulled a knife out of the drawer, walked over to her husband who was watching TV and drinking beer, and began stabbing him repeatedly. He managed to survive it, but his ass will never see the outside of a prison. That is how it should be.

babiesbabybaby development

Hi!  My name is Jenn!

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