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Is My Cousin Jealous Of Me Or Am I Nuts?

Posted by on May. 9, 2013 at 2:12 PM
  • 50 Replies

 

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Question: Is this person jealous?

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Total Votes: 21

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Hi all. Just wanted to get an opinion. I'm not a jealous person at all, so I don't understand the sentiment. I have a cousin who is close to my age, only a few years older.When we were teens she would never let me hang out with her. She wouldn't say "no" she just wouldn't tell me when or where she would hang out or invite me. I guess in my youth I was considered "pretty" and "thin" though I didn't consider myself pretty. (I had a very abusive mother who would constantly tell me otherwise). As a result of the emotional abuse, I'm probably a little insecure. Anyhow my cousin had bad acne and was a little overweight.

As an adult, things have changed a little. My cousin diets an excercises a lot. I think she looks amazing. She's had lots of plastic surgery (which she pretends she hasn't, like no one will notice). She has a very good, high paying job that gives her significant power and allows her to travel alot, she moves from place to place. She is 40 now and is unmarried. She had no boyfriend for many years until recently. She is dating a very nice man. Older, but nice. No kids. Personally I think she has a fabulous life. She buys expensive clothes and makeup, and has a lot of friends.

I in turn, am a stay at home mom with a husband who does well, I have two gorgeous kids, a nice house and a very ho hum existence, but unlike her no exciting job or my own disposable income. I used to run a home business but am no longer doing that. Still, everytime I see her (when I go to her family's home) her mom is basically my second mom, (I spend a lot of time with my aunt while my cousin lives out of the country), its uncomfortable when she is home. She basically ignores me, doesn't talk much about her job, never asks me about my life, doesn't really talk to my kids. I really admire her and respect the work she does but when I ask questions she blows me off. I feel like I'm pulling teeth trying to get her to engage. Last time she came to visit, her house was filled with the flu and when she came to my house to "see the baby" she refused to wash her hands and hung out around my newborn. She basically screamed at me and called me ridiculous for asking her to wash her hands (in my own house).

 For Christmas she gave my newborn son a pair of slippers (sized for a 14 year old). She has never sent a single gifts for any of my kids, though I remember her and her family always. I help her mom a lot when she is gone because she suffers from a chronic ailment. When I asked her if she had a boyfriend, just as casual conversation, she replied "YES SEVERAL" in a bitchy way. She does a lot of things like this. And then recently I posted pictures of another cousin on Facebook holding my kids. She didn't hit like, or comment. She just shared the photo captioning it "MY AMAZING BROTHER!" So weird. What is up with this person? Is this jealousy? I just can't imagine anyone being jealous of a stay at home mom who is too busy to shower!! It isn't something to be jealous of imo. But I don't know. And if it does sound like jealousy, how do I handle it? Do I respond with kindness, ignore, or what? This is family, so I will have to see her for the rest of my life unfortunately.

by on May. 9, 2013 at 2:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Two_Hearts
by on May. 9, 2013 at 2:17 PM
3 moms liked this
she just sounds like she thinks her sh*t doesn't stink. personally i wouldn't try so hard to form a relationship with her...it doesn't sound like its worth your time.
TimetoMomUp
by Runt on May. 9, 2013 at 2:22 PM
2 moms liked this

Honestly, and I hope this isn't too rude, but from the way you tell it, it just sounds like she doesn't like you and never has. 

ashellbell
by shellbark on May. 9, 2013 at 2:35 PM
1 mom liked this
It sounds like she just doesn't like you. :-\
Peanutx3
by on May. 9, 2013 at 2:40 PM

Yep

Quoting ashellbell:

It sounds like she just doesn't like you. :-\



OHgirlinCA
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2013 at 2:43 PM

 It doesn't sound like she's jealous to me.... It sounds like she just doesn't want a close relationship with you.

Donna6503
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2013 at 2:44 PM
2 moms liked this
If you found out she was "jealous" of you, would it really change anything?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momtoscott
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2013 at 2:49 PM

I agree she doesn't seem to like you much.   

saylooth
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 2:51 PM

 I agree with you .   :( that is what I was afraid of.

Quoting TimetoMomUp:

Honestly, and I hope this isn't too rude, but from the way you tell it, it just sounds like she doesn't like you and never has. 


 

beesbad
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 2:53 PM
7 moms liked this

She clearly doesn't want a relationship with you so just be polite when you are around her and stop trying to engage her. You've done your best so move on and enjoy your life  and the rest of your family. 

saylooth
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this

You're right, it wouldn't change anything. I guess I just wanted to know if it was in my head. Sometimes we just don't want to believe those we care for simply don't like us or hate us even, for no reason at all.

Quoting Donna6503:

If you found out she was "jealous" of you, would it really change anything?


 

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