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Self-respecting, psychologically healthy women do NOT force men into fatherhood.

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:05 PM
  • 235 Replies
2 moms liked this

Dr Tara J. Palmatier

Accidental” Pregnancies, Entrapment and Children as Weapons

How many men have been suckered and emotionally extorted into relationships and marriages with crazy, immature, high-conflict and/or personality disordered women who “accidentally” got themselves pregnant?

How many men would have ended relationships without looking back if not for being forced into fatherhood against their will and wishes?

How many men have stayed in an abusive relationship for the sake of their children, even though they feel a little piece of themselves die inside everyday?

An “accidental” pregnancy is one of the oldest tricks in the book of desperate, emotionally disturbed women.

Deliberately becoming pregnant without a man’s consent, against his explicit consent, as a way to hold onto him or to extort a commitment and money from him is one of the the most underhanded, contemptible forms of betrayal and theft there is.

Her body, her choice. Fine, but what about the genetic material a woman needs from a man to even have that choice? Parenthood ought to require mutual respect and consideration; a mutual choice. His sperm, his choice. Very often men have no choice about becoming fathers.

Before certain women make the emotional argument, “If he didn’t want to be a father, he shouldn’t have had sex!” let me say, grow up, get real and get some self-respect.

Women lie about being on birth control. Women claim their antibiotics rendered their birth control pills ineffective. Women lie about their menstrual cycles. Women lie and claim they’re infertile. They get ex-boyfriends drunk and lure them into bed. They collect sperm from used condoms. They get pregnant by another man and lie about the paternity. This is just wrong. It is wrong. It is wrong. It is wrong and it’s just a glimpse of the hell that is sure to follow.

Self-respecting, psychologically healthy women do NOT force men into fatherhood. Self-respecting, psychologically healthy women want to be loved for themselves, not because they arm twisted a man into “doing the right thing.”

A woman who deliberately gets pregnant against a man’s wishes and/or when she senses he’s about to end the relationship is a self-centered, un-empathic, duplicitous, manipulator of the highest order. Do not be fooled by her lies that it was an accident.

Accidental pregnancies are easily remedied. A woman who honestly becomes accidentally pregnant is open to exploring options such as adoption or abortion. If it’s a healthy relationship that was leading to marriage, then the pregnancy becomes a pleasant surprise.

A woman who doesn’t consider a man’s feelings and wishes about having his baby is NOT a woman he should bind himself to legally in marriage. These women are so twisted they lie to themselves and convince themselves that they’re doing this out of “love.” This is bullsh*t.

A woman who becomes pregnant to trap you is telling you loud and clear: “I don’t care what you want. I don’t care about you. I don’t care about your feelings. I want what I want and the consequences be damned. You will do what I want whether you want to or not. This is all about me and it will always be about me.” This is not love; it is the opposite of love.

In healthy relationships between healthy adults, children are a living symbol of their union and love.

Stealing a baby from a man to force a relationship or to extort money from him has nothing to do with love. It has nothing to do with wanting to raise and nurture a child into a healthy, productive adult.

A child conceived in this way is not his/her own little person; the child is a means to an end. The child is conceived for the sole purpose of tying the father to the mother against his will. The child is a weapon. The child is created to control and hurt the father. Women who view children as objects and weapons are highly likely to be parental alienators.

These women are not good parent material. Being a parent requires selflessness at times. Tricking a man into fatherhood is a supremely selfish act. A woman who does this demonstrates, before the child is even born, that she is incapable of acting in “the best interests of the child.” How is it in any child’s best interest to be born into a family in which the father was forced into parenthood with a woman he neither loves nor wants to be with?

http://www.shrink4men.com/2011/06/17/dr-tara-j-palmatier-on-avoiceformen-radio-tuesday-june-21-2011-accidental-pregnancies-entrapment-and-children-as-weapons/

by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
futureshock
by Ruby Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:05 PM
4 moms liked this

Agreed.

Self-respecting, psychologically healthy women do NOT force men into fatherhood.

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:08 PM
3 moms liked this

How can one force a man to do any thing?  They could have walked away from the woman while still doing right by their child(ren).  Yes, I can imagine, in some instances, it would be quite hard to deal with some women.  There are ways, however, to be a part of the child's life without the drama from the mom.

Although, I will say, it can indeed be hard.

I've never found any woman who does make the attempt to trap a man to be some one who is thinking or acting correctly.  Without knowing them personally, I cannot make a sweeping judgment call on the woman or the man.

kiriis
by Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:09 PM
12 moms liked this

So, if I carry a baby for 9 months, if the guy decides he no longer wants to be a daddy, I should have an abortion because of it, and if I refuse, I have no self respect and I am mentaly ill. Umm, no.

Sisteract
by Whoopie on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:10 PM
10 moms liked this

I think that if no children or no more children are mutually agreed upon concepts, neither party should actively try to conceive-

Glove up, men.

viv212
by Gold Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:11 PM
Well that explains a little something. I remember when I had just found out I was pregnant and the father said I was trying to trap him. I laughed. I told him I'm keeping it and I need his support, either emotional/physical or monetary. He said he wasn't going to he around. I accepted it. So even though I feel like this article sheds me in a good light, it doesn't take away the heavy guilt I feel for not putting up a better fight. I didn't know he would be gone forever.
mesfilles
by Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:11 PM
15 moms liked this
Sorry, I won't read past the first sentence where it says "women who got themselves pregnant". Lol
DACIA79
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:13 PM
5 moms liked this
Why wouldn't the guy protect himself from the drama buy using a condom but I do agree that only a fool would get pregnant to try to keep a guy.

We can't get pregnant without assistance so if you don't want to feel trapped where a condom.
JTROX
by Gold Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:13 PM
5 moms liked this

Men should not be forced into parenthood if women have the choice to not be a parent.

kidlover2
by Bronze Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Hmmm... I think my exhusband read this article when he decided he no longer wanted to be the father to his 2,4, and 8 year old. I guess I "entrapped" him into parenthood.
pansyprincess
by Silver Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:16 PM
7 moms liked this

Sounds like a very biased article in tone.  It takes two to get a woman pregnant.  I agree that there is something wrong with a woman who sets out to get pregnant without consent from her partner, or knowing that he doesn't want kids.  That's just not cool. 

But for me, a woman's body is her own to do with as she sees fit.  If a woman gets pregnant, and the guy doesn't want a kid, that sucks for him.  It really does.  But it doesn't mean she should get an abortion just because he didn't want it. 

I also think that men very often claim that a woman trapped them, when quite honestly, the birth control failed, and she ended up pregnant.  Just because that happens, it does not mean it was intentional.  This puts all the blame of pregnancy on the woman, and I find that pretty damn one sided and ugly.

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