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Am I Being Dishonest?

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:23 PM
  • 65 Replies
1 mom liked this
I'm a bit torn and I could use some outside perspective. Ok, I don't talk about my political leanings at work. No one knows I'm a big fat tree huger. When someone talks about politics, or religion, or abortion, just any of the hot button issues, I don't comment. I don't lie, I don't compromise my beliefs, and I'm not tying to be deceitful. I am maintaining my professionalism. When these conversations start I steer the conversation away, or I suddenly get busy, or I ask questions - What did you think of that? or What happened next? But I don't share my own thoughts. So here is my dilemma: I have made a new friend who is EXTREMELY conservative and she now thinks I am conservative as well. She confides in me and I consider her a friend, but I don't think she would still be my friend if she knew how lefty liberal I am. Again, I am not trying to deceive her or anyone else, but I will not compromise my professionalism. So, am I being dishonest? I haven't lied, people have assumed - is that my fault?
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lizzielouaf
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:29 PM
14 moms liked this

If she won't be your friend because of your political beliefs, you don't need her in your life. IMO

TheLadyAmalthea
by Bronze Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:37 PM
5 moms liked this

I really don't know when people thought it was a great idea to start talking politics at work. Is this woman only a work friend? If she is, just tell her it's not your thing to talk politics at work. She should respect that if she is at all professional. The last thing anyone in a place of business needs is all the employees fighting over politics.

joyfree
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:39 PM

Yeah, if she cut you loose based on your beliefs, F**k her! (IMO) 

I have some very conservative friends and I either try to find a common ground or agree to disagree... Some times it works... Or, you could just say that you don't always agree with her but that you think it's better to keep your politics to yourself.


Quoting lizzielouaf:

If she won't be your friend because of your political beliefs, you don't need her in your life. IMO



kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:39 PM
1 mom liked this
As I was hitting reply I saw the first response, that if she wouldn't be friends because of differing political beliefs you don't need her in your life, and I wholeheartedly agree with her. I have several friends that have differing political views. I have one friend who used to be dead set that she could not be friends with a gay or bi person. I loved her in spite of that. She has softened over the years, and is now much more accepting of others, even though she believes that being gay is wrong. I have many gay friends and support gay marriage 100%. She is also very anti gun, and I own 12. We know these things about each other but are still dear friends. It wouldn't be worth it to me to try and maintain a friendship if she was willing to let a little thing like political beliefs get in the way if our friendship.

So I guess what I was trying to say through the rambling is that it is okay to let her know that you disagree with her point of view. Most friends don't agree on 100% of issues 100% of the time. Even Best Friends..
..MoonShine..
by Redwood Witch on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:41 PM

I have to agree. 

Quoting lizzielouaf:

If she won't be your friend because of your political beliefs, you don't need her in your life. IMO


rfurlongg
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:46 PM
I do as well.

Quoting ..MoonShine..:

I have to agree. 

Quoting lizzielouaf:

If she won't be your friend because of your political beliefs, you don't need her in your life. IMO


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Happymamax2
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I understand.  I was born and raised in a very liberal college town, and then I moved to a very conservative town.  It's like walking on eggshells.  I would never talk about hot button issues either, but it is difficult, especially when someone assumes your polite lack of response is actually an affirmation.  If you really like her and are able to overlook her leanings, I think you better come clean and tell her just what you wrote here.  

I think you are smart to avoid those topics at your work.  

stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:56 PM
2 moms liked this
I would maybe ssy something like oh I don't think you know my feelings on this issue but I prefer to keep my politics to myself. Just to let her know she shouldn't assume. And then change the subject.
Sisteract
by Whoopie on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:11 PM

This

Quoting rfurlongg:

I do as well.

Quoting ..MoonShine..:

I have to agree. 

Quoting lizzielouaf:

If she won't be your friend because of your political beliefs, you don't need her in your life. IMO



LauraKW
by "Dude!" on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:19 PM
She is a work friend right now, but there is real friend potential there.

Quoting TheLadyAmalthea:

I really don't know when people thought it was a great idea to start talking politics at work. Is this woman only a work friend? If she is, just tell her it's not your thing to talk politics at work. She should respect that if she is at all professional. The last thing anyone in a place of business needs is all the employees fighting over politics.

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