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Ungrateful Bride Sends Heinous Message To Wedding Guest

Posted by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:50 PM
  • 126 Replies

Ungrateful Bride Sends Heinous Message To Wedding Guest

Wedding Gift Amount Deemed Insufficient By Bad-Mannered Bride

Wow, talk about bad manners! On Friday, we received a truly horrifying email from one of our readers that would make etiquette guru Emily Post turn in her grave. The reader, Tanya, told us about a recent Facebook message she received from a bride after attending her wedding last month. In the message, the bride expressed her dissatisfaction with the $100 wedding gift she received from Tanya and her date. You can read the message for yourself below, but we must warn you: Your blood WILL boil.

Last weekend I attended a wedding of a not-close friend with my boyfriend and as a gift we gave $100 cash. This was generous considering my financial situation. I just finished university with $40,000 in student loans, and have only found part time (12-18 hrs per week) minimum wage work. I gave as much as I could and attended to show my support.

Today I received a rude and condescending message from the bride via Facebook messenger: "Hi Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike's and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the reception because just for the cocktail + reception alone the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal wedding range with open bar is about) and Mike and I both have already paid for everything else including decor, photography, attire etc and didn't expect we had to cover that huge amount for reception as well. As I know you both live together and work, so I did not see any reason for that amount, when it comes to your wedding hopefully you'll know what I mean. I hope for the best as from what we receive is what we will give back. Anyways, good luck on everything." [all sic]

It's infuriating that she had the nerve to make assumptions about my finances, and assume that I or my boyfriend had an extra $400 lying around. Those $100 were hard-earned and she didn't show an ounce of gratitude for what she did receive. That money didn't grow on a tree. If she had a minimum gift requirement, she should have specified it...or asked everyone for income statements before inviting them.

Celebrity wedding planner and HuffPost Weddings blogger Sharon Sacks weighed in on the matter, calling this "an inappropriate response to a wedding gift."

"Weddings are a wonderful time to share with family and friends," she wrote in an email to The Huffington Post. "The expense and the cost of the wedding is solely the responsibility of the bride, groom, and their families, and never the people who are attending. I think people give with their heart and do the best that they can. I would hope that any bride and groom would understand.“

Wedding etiquette expert and HuffPost blogger Xochitl Gonzalez also commented on the Facebook message, saying that it's one of the most classless stories she's ever heard.

"There is no obligation of a guest to give a gift to a party to which they are invited, not even a wedding," she wrote in an email. "Though not required, it is a very nice thing to do, but there is certainly no base guideline for what you should give AND finally, it's certainly outrageous to question the amount, let alone the gift (i.e. the guy who gave the couple a gift basket and they freaked out). There is a disgusting trend emerging where people are not only passing judgment about the gifts they receive, but they are verbalizing it -- even on the Bravo show 'Newlyweds,' they showed one of the grooms mocking guests on TV for being 'cheap with gifts.' It's classless and tacky."

by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Ruby Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:50 PM


by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:54 PM
6 moms liked this
Umm I thought weddings were about the union. Not the gifts.l
by Milami on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:57 PM
2 moms liked this

 What a bitch.

by Platinum Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 5:00 PM

I rad that yesterday on Facebook--- what a half-wit!

eye rolling

by Bronze Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 5:00 PM
4 moms liked this
Omg hahahaha I don't know if I'd be able to keep myself from going off on her. I guess I'd just blast her message to the world like this lady did.
by Whoopie on Jul. 4, 2013 at 5:02 PM
4 moms liked this

You can not have champagne taste on a beer budget-

by Gold Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 5:03 PM

What an idiot bride. You don't have a wedding that costs more than what's in your pocket the day you make a booking!

by Bronze Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 5:03 PM
17 moms liked this
Dear god. I'm pretty sure I would not have had the self control not to email her back and tell her the food was dry, the ceremony was boring, and she looked fat in her dress.

"We considered giving you $400, but it didn't feel like a $400 event and we didn't want to embarrass you with an extravagant gift."
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by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 5:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Since when is the cash that might be given at a wedding actually used toward paying off the reception, caterers, etc? Heck, another debate in a different group came up a few months ago in which I was told swiftly and promptly how wrong I was to assume that weddings today have registries and that to actually give a gift is apparently a major no-no.

Cash and much of it, I guess.

My times have changed.

Bridezilla is a bitch!

by New Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 5:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Its not the guests job to help pay off their wedding. *smh*
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