Because Racism still Exists: My Saturday Night
I also posted this on my facebook page.
This will be a rambling rant. Read and agree or disagree (or hit some kind of middle). As long as you spell words correctly I don't care how you respond to it. You're free to be an asshole just as I'm free to be an asshole.
This shit going on down in Florida has cause me to be more angry than usual. Over time I've calmed down and I'm not really the activist I was many years ago. I let that fall to the wayside for my own mental health.
Letting that activism fall to the wayside for my mental health is part of having white privilege.
Let me explain:
On Saturday night I went out with the girl that my family is hosting through this program at UIC. She wants to be a teacher and they are doing all kinds of stuff in this area with children. She's black. Now, my mother picked her because my mother knew without a doubt the other host families would not want her because she's black (all the other host families are white and my mother knows most of them). My mother has her own racist tendencies but she knows how this world works and she didn't want Britney to have a hard time getting placed.
That racist bullshit aside, I went out with her on Saturday night. Because we wanted to. Britney has been working very hard and I thought we'd have some fun. I said hey, let's go to the Irish Heritage Center for Irish fest. It's a great party. We got there at 9:30 pm and the security (white male) told us that they were closed, they weren't selling anymore tickets. I knew from previous years that the party went at least till 1 am and tickets were sold till at least 10 pm. I asked him why they are closed this year at 9:30 and previous years the party would go till 1 am. He just repeated that they were closed and no longer selling tickets. I got mad and started yelling and that's when Britney pulled on my dress and said "let's just go before you get the cops called." And of course that's when I started in how I'm related to half of those assholes, ugh. Long story short I said FINE! We'll go to Sidekicks. Which we did.
At Sidekicks, Britney and I sat at the bar and listened to older white men express happiness at Zimmerman getting a "not guilty" verdict. I was half way into a Long Island Ice Tea and ready for a fight but yet again, Britney pulled on me and said "Don't start no shit cause I'm the one who's going to get into trouble." And my drunk ass was like hell no! Then an older white guy, liking my skanky dress, sits next to me and buys me another long island and proceeds to tell me how women have financially ruined America. I stayed calm, I swear. I did. I explained to him how the economic woes of our times is directly related to the repeal of the Glas-Steagal act in 1994 by Clinton which prevented all kinds of bullshit on Walstreet. He looked at me, said I was right (!!!!!) and bought me a shot, and went home to his wife.
Moving on. Britney called her boyfriend and told him to meet us at Sidekicks. She hasn't seen him in 3 weeks. Her boyfriend Nate and his cousin Scooter arrive (it's about 1 am at this point) and they are denied entry into Sidekicks. The bouncers said they had open containers of alcohol and that's why they couldn't let them in. They had water bottles full of water.
So, act of injustice number three in the span of three hours, Britney, myself, her bf and his cousin find ourselves in the parking lot of Sidekicks just talking. Mainly about the insanity of the verdict in Florida. The house next to the parking lot lights up, a dog comes out with the owner, next thing we know Sidekicks security is telling us that we are being too loud and the people in the house are threatening to call the cops and we have to go. Keep in your fucking minds that I WAS THE LOUDEST PERSON. Me. Drunk white girl. I was the loud one and I wasn't even that loud. I really wasn't. Ok, maybe a little loud. But not loud enough to be disturbing the sleep of people in a house. So we move on to the Parking lot of Suzies to get some food to feed my drunk ass.
While waiting in line at Suzies, there were some Polish assholes (they had the polish flag on the rear view mirror) in a car in the drive through. We were at the walk up window. These assholes were in their douchbag car, making rude and sexual gestures at me. They saw me, knew I was with three black people, two of them black males, and tried to pick a fight without getting out of their stupid car. They were betting on me telling my friends what they were doing, knowing they would do something about it. I just sat down at the picnic table and waited for my food. The assholes finally drove off blasting stupid euro tech music. It was then that I told Britney, Nate, and Scooter what those fuck faces were doing (and it was bad people, the gestures we really really bad). Immediately Nate and Scooter were like "why the fuck didn't you say something?!!?" Because I knew they would have retaliated and there would be a fight and they would be the ones to get into trouble with the police.
I don't really go out a lot but when I do, it's usually with white or Hispanic friends. I experienced some mega crazy racist shit in the span of five hours with my black friends. And they personally experience it every single day of their lives.
Racism isn't over. People are assholes. White people in particular. We are trained that way through a variety of sources. Our culture itself, our media, our history.
This shit is beyond Trayvon and what happened to him. This is about racism still being alive and well in America. This is about a justice system that is NOT built to protect them, it was never meant to protect them.
We are fucked up and I am angry and damnit, for my mental health, I have to do something about it. Starting with writing a letter to the people who run the Irish Heritage Center.
End of rant. Carry on. Don't be a fucking tool.