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Latest Parenting Trend

Posted by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 5:37 PM
Pam
  • 25 Replies
2 moms liked this

Latest Parenting Trend: The CTFD Method

Posted: 07/17/2013 9:44 am

I know many people want to stay current with the latest parenting trends -- attachment parenting, minimalist parenting, Tiger Mother parenting, et al. Well, I've stumbled upon a new technique that will guarantee your child grows up to be an exemplary student and citizen. It's called CTFD, which stands for "Calm The F*ck Down." And that's not a message to give your kids. It's for you.

Using CTFD assures you that -- whichever way you choose to parent -- your child will be fine (as long as you don't abuse them, of course). To see it in action, here are some sample parenting scenarios and how CTFD can be employed: 

  • Worried your friend's child has mastered the alphabet quicker than your child? Calm the f*ck down.
  • Scared you're not imparting the wisdom your child will need to survive in school and beyond? Calm the f*ck down.
  • Concerned that you're not the type of parent you thought you'd be? Calm the f*ck down.
  • Upset that your child doesn't show interest in certain areas of learning? Calm the f*ck down.
  • Stressed that your child exhibits behavior in public you find embarrassing? Calm the f*ck down.


Yes, using the CTFD method, you'll find the pressure lifted and realize your child loves you no matter what, even if they've yet to master the alphabet. You'll also learn that whether or not you're the best parent in the world, as long as you love your child, they'll think you are and that's what matters. Plus, CTFD makes you immune to those that prey upon the fears of new parents, like pseudoscientists and parenting authors.

To use CTFD, just follow these simple steps:

  1. Calm the f*ck down.
  2. There is no second step.

So, ignore all those other parenting trends and stick to CTFD. You'll be glad you did and so will your kid.

This post originally appeared -- without the asterisks -- on TheDaddyComplex.com.

by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 5:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
OHgirlinCA
by Platinum Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 5:43 PM
NWP
by guerrilla girl on Jul. 18, 2013 at 5:44 PM
Lol
Looking4Truth
by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this

 Hahahahaha, that was great!!  Did you find this somewhere or did you come up with it yourself?  Either way, I'm going to copy this (if you don't mind) and give a copy to each of my daughters, who both have teenagers their raising!  They are going to LOVE this!!!  Thanks for posting it!!!  Have a great day!  :)

Euphoric
by Bazinga! on Jul. 18, 2013 at 6:04 PM

 lol

rfurlongg
by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 6:17 PM
I love it. Lol!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mommabearbergh
by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 6:22 PM
Love it and I should so give this to dh's mother. She compares my dd and my bil ex girlfriend dd all the time.
autodidact
by Platinum Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 6:23 PM
3 moms liked this

is there an audio version of that read by Sam Jackson? 

JustCJ
by Silver Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 6:25 PM
Haha! Perfect.
Calm...the ....mother....fuck....down.


Quoting autodidact:

is there an audio version of that read by Sam Jackson? 

PamR
by Pam on Jul. 18, 2013 at 6:25 PM



Quoting Looking4Truth:

 Hahahahaha, that was great!!  Did you find this somewhere or did you come up with it yourself?  Either way, I'm going to copy this (if you don't mind) and give a copy to each of my daughters, who both have teenagers their raising!  They are going to LOVE this!!!  Thanks for posting it!!!  Have a great day!  :)

I found it - it just struck a chord with me because I work in a preschool and I see so many parents who are obsessive/stressed/insane about their kids and their own parenting.


smurfbitebug
by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 6:28 PM
X-D
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